# Dear Attractive Married Women: Plz Wear A Ring. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 17, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336 "2012-11-17T19:13:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/141 "2012-11-18T21:01:41Z")
You guys don’t know Christine (not her real first name). Christine was married as hell when I met her in grad school, the mother of teens and super involved in the high school band and swim team where they participated. But just thru her sheer warm funny outgoing-ness, I gravitated toward her, even though I knew it wasn’t going to end in bed. Some women (married or single) are guarded and kind of “about themselves” in a work or school context. Not Christine. (Besides which, she was the inspiration for some truly potent fantasies, which helped me take the edge off.) ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/142 "2012-11-18T21:04:14Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > I get that you’re trying to be funny and all, but you’re really being sort of as ridiculous as the people you’re arguing with trying to stretch this into WHORE! levels of outrage that just aren’t here. Wait, what do you mean trying? Oh. :sciencefail: But yeah, I wasn’t trying to make any point with that post you quoted beyond mocking how absurd **Troppus’** “re-enactment” was. I mean, if you’re going to build strawmen and knock them down, why not go all out? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/143 "2012-11-18T21:05:43Z")
Look at it this way, RickJay: compared to surviving this thread, getting back into dating will be easy. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/144 "2012-11-18T21:07:14Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Also, Troppus, _read the fucking OP,_ doofus, and at least get the story straight before you throw bullshit out of your pie hole. I didn’t ask her out, nor did I creep around her. You might want to get your facts straight before playing judge and jury. You sound like a goddamned Republican. Now goddamn it, dial it back, RickJay. I said I had no sympathy for some dunderhead who pisses and moans over a (perceived) rejection. Get back out there and find yourself a woman, caveman, and maybe employ a little more finesse next time if you are sensitive or grow a pair and handle rejection like a man. I gotta warn ya, the absence of a wedding ring will never guarantee a date, and the presence of a ring won’t guarantee a rejection, either. For the record, I mentally changed your pejorative to a certain forbidden four letter word. That’s how I refer to Republicans, and frankly I’d rather be called the c word than the R word. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/145 "2012-11-18T21:13:23Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > I gotta warn ya, the absence of a wedding ring will never guarantee a date, and the presence of a ring won’t guarantee a rejection, either. Fascinating. Any other vaginal based knowledge to share with the cavemen? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/146 "2012-11-18T21:15:11Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > When did the Pit morph into the Penthouse Forum? Dear Straight Dope, I never thought this would happen to me, but… ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/147 "2012-11-18T21:21:46Z")
> [@RickJay](#): > > Oh, what unadulterated stupidity this is. “Patriarchal bullshit?” Seriously? Jesus Christ. Starting a silly thread on this mildest of little complaints was clearly a serious error, since apparently I’m now either a pig, a chauvinist or a passive-agressive jerk; at this point it’s hard to keep up. I do not think you’re a pig, chauvinist, or passive-aggressive. Just somewhat unaware of the implications of what you’re saying. There’s lots of patriarchal bullshit that people in our society - men and women - buy into unconsciously, and there was some of that in the OP. There probably would have been much sympathy for a “I met a great woman, but dammit she’s married!” rant. It’s the part where it somehow makes you feel wronged, and that’s somehow her fault for not matching your idea of appropriate attire for a married woman that is BS. > [@CarnalK](#): > > NO! Don’t give up now! We are so close to passing that legislation that forces married women to wear wedding rings!! The perfect society all us men dream of is within reach!!! Only the _attractive_ married women, don’t forget. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/148 "2012-11-18T21:23:36Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Now goddamn it, dial it back, RickJay. I said I had no sympathy for some dunderhead who pisses and moans over a (perceived) rejection. No, actually, you said quite a bit more than that, so suck it up, GOPer. Shit, you still can’t even get the facts right. > [@](#): > > I gotta warn ya, the absence of a wedding ring will never guarantee a date… The hell you say! :rolleyes: Are you serious? People sometimes actually say “no” when they’re asked out? My God… I’ve never encountered this before! Indeed, it’s caused me endless problems the other way, since I’ve always said “yes” when hit on by someone (I gotta tell you, it’s super uncomfortable when it’s a gay man and they find out halfway through dinner I’m not gay, but hey, you make friends if they’re not too angry) because I had always believed saying “no” wasn’t an option. Gosh, I could have saved so many upleasant evenings! In my previous experience, every single person who was ever asked out by anyone else always said yes. It simply boggles the mind that, sometimes, people say no. Did you get this study from the Institute for Examining The Really Obvious? What did you think of their recent position paper on the Pope’s likely Catholicism? > [@](#): > > … and the presence of a ring won’t guarantee a rejection, either. Well, no, but _it sure guarantees I’m not asking_. I’ve no interest in being a homewrecker. Marriage matters and I’m not interfering with someone else’s. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/149 "2012-11-18T21:46:38Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Dear Straight Dope, > I never thought this would happen to me, but… One thing and another, nobody else did either, Guin. :driveby: ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/150 "2012-11-18T21:48:06Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > _Yes, yes, all women are whores._ > Just because they’re not having sex with you, doesn’t mean they’re not having sex. > > I’m not sure why you feel the need to call them out as whores, though. They’re just bored and horny. Their marital status just doesn’t have a lot to do with their willingness to sweat up the bedsheets with a charming stranger. > > "I love my husband and everything, but … " No need for walking vaginas with you around… seeing how you’re such a huge one, you charming stranger. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/151 "2012-11-18T22:33:57Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > Jesus, do you have any friends of the opposite sex, or just the one you’re boinking? What I’m suggesting is that if he truly tried to get to know her before attempting to pick her up and found her so appealing and this interest is not limited to whether or not she’ll get in his bed, then he’s totally made an awesome new friend. What you are suggesting is gross and creepy as hell. Most of us already have enough friends, which I realize must be a foreign concept for you. ---
**Author:** ![Belowjob2.0](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Belowjob2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belowjob2.0)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/152 "2012-11-18T22:36:59Z")
> [@Dave\_Hartwick](#): > > No need for walking vaginas with you around… seeing how you’re such a huge one, you charming stranger. I already told you, I don’t swing that way. Try Craigslist. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![antonio107](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7ea924/32.png) [@antonio107](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/antonio107)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/153 "2012-11-18T23:02:16Z")
[QUOTE=RickJay] People sometimes actually say “no” when they’re asked out? My God… I’ve never encountered this before! [/QUOTE] Nor have I. I hear it’s quite common among beta males, and other inferior stags. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![scratch\_llll](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@scratch\_llll](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scratch_llll)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/154 "2012-11-18T23:02:23Z")
> [@zweisamkeit](#): > > Jesus Christ, when you were school-aged, you routinely scored in the bottom 1% for reading comprehension, didn’t you? It’s too late for me to teach you how to diagram a sentence but rest assured that when one ends a sentence with the word creep it can be applied to an understood you, creep. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/155 "2012-11-18T23:30:00Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > What a load of bullshit - even fewer married men wear rings than married women do. > > Like I said: _ask the person_. It’s a much more reliable indicator that what they do or don’t wear on their hands. > > And let’s face it - a lot of men don’t care if the woman is single or married, they’ll hit on her either way. Plenty of people see marriage as just a speed bump towards an affair and not a real obstacle. I’ll skip the men are pigs part of your post and just say that looking for a ring is part of the process in addition to speaking them. If you claim you don’t check for a ring on a man at some point during a conversation whom you’re interested in, you’re a liar. Some of the reactions here are fuckn’ hilarious, the rage is right up there with women shouldn’t dress like whores if they don’t want to get raped. This is just about Rick being bummed out because a hot married woman wasn’t wearing a ring. I can’t speak for him, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t beat her, whip his dick out and shove it down her throat or start a lobby group wanting to pass laws that all involved women must wear rings. Ya’ll need to calm the fuck down. ---
**Author:** ![Dave\_Hartwick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7feea3/32.png) [@Dave\_Hartwick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dave_Hartwick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/156 "2012-11-18T23:32:09Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > I already told you, I don’t swing that way. Try Craigslist. 😃 You turned up there as well. I didn’t even know Craigslist had a huge vagina section. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/157 "2012-11-18T23:37:17Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > I’ll skip the men are pigs part of your post and just say that looking for a ring is part of the process in addition to speaking them. If you claim you don’t check for a ring on a man at some point during a conversation whom you’re interested in, you’re a liar. Or I recognize that even fewer married men wear rings than do married women. My father never wore a wedding ring, not in 60 years of marriage. I can’t ever recall any of my other married male relatives wearing a ring until one of my sisters got married the second time and her husband wore one. Weirdly enough, when she became a doctor she stopped wearing her ring most of the time, maybe because of the problems that would arise from wearing hand jewelry while probing bodily orifices. Among my male friends I’d say it’s 50/50 at most if the men wear rings. It’s far from a universal custom. So far, in fact, that I don’t bother checking out a man’s hands, I ask him directly. Lack of a ring provides no meaningful information. If he is wearing one maybe’ll I’ll notice before I ask, maybe I won’t. In other words, women+/-rings is not comparable to men+/-rings ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/158 "2012-11-18T23:37:48Z")
> [@Belowjob2.0](#): > > _Yes, yes, all women are whores._ > Their marital status just doesn’t have a lot to do with their willingness to sweat up the bedsheets with a charming stranger. You’ve had some marvelous life experiences, haven’t you? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/159 "2012-11-19T00:12:25Z")
The problem isn’t women who want to “sweat up the bedsheets with a charming stranger”. We all know they exist and can probably name a few. The problem comes in with assuming ALL women are like that, and if they don’t put out for the “charming stranger” they’re bitches and cock-teases. Men who want casual sex should seek out women who also want casual sex. If they find out a woman isn’t interested in what they’re interested in they should move on and not act butt-hurt about it. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2012, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336/160 "2012-11-19T00:13:38Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Or I recognize that even fewer married men wear rings than do married women. Oh so you do check for rings. > [@Broomstick](#): > > So far, in fact, that I don’t bother checking out a man’s hands, I ask him directly. Lack of a ring provides no meaningful information. If he is wearing one maybe’ll I’ll notice before I ask, maybe I won’t. Oh wait now you don’t, or maybe, depends etc… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-attractive-married-women-plz-wear-a-ring/641336.md?page=9)