# Dear Bank: Fuck You. A sleazy life insurance sales pitch is NOT "Important Account Information:. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 11, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231 "2009-11-11T21:19:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231/41 "2009-11-13T06:27:19Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > Shortly after opening an account with my local bank, I began receiving several letters per month with things like “Important Account Information, Please Open Immediately” or “Important Records Information” printed on the front of the envelope. As you develop into an Old Fart you learn that none of these mean what they say and the letter can be tossed into recycling without even your spouse suggesting that they were pfishing for account details that would, frankly, yield CONSIDERABLY less than they might hope. Rule Of Thumb #1 of the email world is, “If they know some information about you, they may be a scam.” Rule Of Thumb #2 of the email world is, "Even in the ‘less-than-likely’ format of “dropzone made a stupid decision regarding his mother’s investments regarding silver,” Rule #1 is rendered enforceable by Rule 1, and it has remained okay because many of the rubes, hanyaks, and American Indians, despite Brother #3, received education lesser than those received at Homan High, though (because?) Mom is likely to outlive me. Personal Rule of Thumb: Odds are that your brother–any brother–is likely to know jack shit about investment strategies. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2009, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231/42 "2009-11-13T14:12:59Z")
A sort of related tale, showing how something important can be perceived as trash: We’ve learned that if there’s no return address, or a really cryptic one, it’s always junk. Then we got an envelope with the return address saying “rewards center” or something very like that. THANK HEAVEN we didn’t just toss that one. It turned out to contain one or more $25 Amazon gift certificates. See, we have a Visa card that offers that as its incentive… and we’d just gotten our first shipment of them… and didn’t realize it. I guess I can see why they wouldn’t just emblazon the envelope with “YOUR AMAZON REBATE INSIDE”, too much of a temptation for mail thieves… but geesh, something with the bank’s name on it would at least alert us that it might be important! (or it might be an insurance ad but we’d never know until we looked). ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2009, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231/43 "2009-11-14T15:36:03Z")
> [@jali](#): > > What annoys me the most is that I always choose the “green” offer if it’s available, so I don’t get a paper bill. > > These companies are full of shit, since their Marketing Departments send out so much crap every single week. > > Comcast is the worst offender, but my bank is coming close. _Snort_ Yeah, I too signed up for the “Green” option when I opened up an account at my new bank. Shortly after, I received a letter in the mail letting me know that I opted for the Green option. Really guys? Do you not see the level of stupidity here? Also, NOT sending me ass loads of junk mail would be a great step towards that whole “Green” thing you’re shooting for.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231/44 "2009-11-16T06:39:57Z")
> [@Dripping](#): > > I’ve never understood what Credit Unions ARE. Can anyone join one? They all seem to be like, members-only or something, like for teachers of a certain school district, or something. > > How do you find a credit union and are there restrictions on who can bank there? Yes, you have to qualify somehow, but at this point it’s ridiculously vague; mine is (by name) a teacher’s CU … but in actual fact it’s anyone that lives or works in Orange county, FL. I’d just google for the ones in your area, and then call them to ask. ---
**Author:** ![MsRobyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90ced4/32.png) [@MsRobyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsRobyn)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2009, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231/45 "2009-11-16T12:44:54Z")
> [@furt](#): > > Yes, you have to qualify somehow, but at this point it’s ridiculously vague; mine is (by name) a teacher’s CU … but in actual fact it’s anyone that lives or works in Orange county, FL. I’d just google for the ones in your area, and then call them to ask. We have one like that where we live. It initially started as a benefit for telephone company employees, but has since changed its charter to include anyone living in its service area. If you went to a large-enough college, there may be a credit union you can join as an alumnus. USC’s credit union offers that as a benefit for its alumni. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bank-fuck-you-a-sleazy-life-insurance-sales-pitch-is-not-important-account-information/517231.md?page=2)