# Dear BigT... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 12, 2011, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923 "2011-12-12T17:36:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/21 "2011-12-12T20:41:34Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I don’t know what’s weirder. That **BigT** learned to masturbate from a book or that he apparently thinks everyone else does (his reference to **Giraffe** not having read about it as a child). What I don’t get is what is with all these rich kids having their richy-rich parents buy them a book to learn to masturbate with? Where I grew up you pretty much had to figure these things out for yourself, because both of your parents were too busy working the street corners and had to give 3/4 of their money to Funk Master Jon Beautiful, or if you were a smart little fucker like me you could ask Old Man Cletus down behind the 7-11 to show you how to rub one out. EDIT: > [@Chimera](#): > > Yeah, that’s pretty strange. I thought everyone went to Masturbation Academy like I did. 😉 Shit, speaking of rich kids when did Bill Gates’ kid join the SDMB? ---
**Author:** ![ReticulatingSplines](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@ReticulatingSplines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReticulatingSplines)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/22 "2011-12-12T20:48:05Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Yeah, that’s pretty strange. I thought everyone went to Masturbation Academy like I did. 😉 Masturbation Academy? … Do they have any job openings you know of? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/23 "2011-12-12T21:02:45Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Do they have any job openings you know of? Sure they do, but they won’t employ just any old jerkoff. ---
**Author:** ![brewha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/24 "2011-12-12T21:09:35Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I don’t have a dog in this fight, but I do appreciate a proper old-school BBQ Pit OP. Nicely done, **Giraffe**. This. Somehow, I made it the last 10 or so years on this site without really forming an opinion of BigT one way or the other. He is just a name I sorta recall as a member. But, that OP? Brilliant! ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/25 "2011-12-12T21:12:27Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > Sure they do, but they won’t employ just any old jerkoff. I see. Men or women? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/26 "2011-12-12T21:20:09Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Yeah, that’s pretty strange. I thought everyone went to Masturbation Academy like I did. 😉 Hrmm, I wonder what kind of bird delivers the invitation? Probably not a swallow… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/27 "2011-12-12T21:32:25Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Good lord, _why_? Meh. For the most part I think \*\*BigT \*\*is an okay guy, but he really gets under my skin when he starts lecturing everyone on social skills and morality. I’m like, “Dude, you’ve never even been outside. Quiet down.” When he’s not pretending to be Miss Manners, he’s fine by me. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/28 "2011-12-12T21:49:07Z")
He did get a LOT better after he got told off by everybody and their little brothers about being such a damned goody-goody. I like him fine now. But I have noticed this weird obsession with Giraffe. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/29 "2011-12-12T21:51:47Z")
> [@ReticulatingSplines](#): > > Masturbation Academy? > > … > > Do they have any job openings you know of? Having openings there would kind of defeat the purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/30 "2011-12-12T22:04:11Z")
Anyone remember the Drawn Together episode where Wooldoor learned how to masterbate, after seeing how Foxy got her rocks off and wondering whether he could do the same? \*\*BigT \*\*learning how to masterbate from a book brings it to mind. Hilarious episode, I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Fiveroptic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiveroptic/32/8257_2.png) [@Fiveroptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiveroptic)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/31 "2011-12-12T22:27:56Z")
When I was in the tenth grade my Biology II teacher taught (unofficially) sex ed because a lot of kids weren’t learning about contraception or even conception at home. I got an A- on the test because I misspelled “masturbation.” I should have studied harder when I was four, but I couldn’t read yet. ---
**Author:** ![Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hypnagogic_jerk/32/4252_2.png) [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypnagogic_Jerk)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/32 "2011-12-12T23:12:49Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > I like **BigT** but I do agree that off-board drama should stay off-board. I’d agree with that, but the thing is that on the Giraffe Boards they aren’t shy about pointing and laughing at the SDMB. (Thankfully they’ve moved that off the main page, so those who don’t care about that can ignore it.) I guess it’s really no big deal, but it shouldn’t be surprising if we notice it and point it out. Especially since the GB is a legitimate message board, not a snark board. I believe **BigT** ’s annoyance at **Guinastasia** , as linked to in the OP, stems from the fact that at some point she really enjoyed talking smack about Dopers on the GB in order to please people and gain friends over there, but then came back here and posted as if nobody knew what she was up to. I don’t know if she still does that (I never read that part of the GB anymore), but I could see someone finding it annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/33 "2011-12-12T23:54:35Z")
> [@Hypnagogic\_Jerk](#): > > I’d agree with that, but the thing is that on the Giraffe Boards they aren’t shy about pointing and laughing at the SDMB. (Thankfully they’ve moved that off the main page, so those who don’t care about that can ignore it.) I guess it’s really no big deal, but it shouldn’t be surprising if we notice it and point it out. Especially since the GB is a legitimate message board, not a snark board. > > I believe **BigT** ’s annoyance at **Guinastasia** , as linked to in the OP, stems from the fact that at some point she really enjoyed talking smack about Dopers on the GB in order to please people and gain friends over there, but then came back here and posted as if nobody knew what she was up to. I don’t know if she still does that (I never read that part of the GB anymore), but I could see someone finding it annoying. I think this is an extremely fair point. It is an inherently asymmetric situation to have two message boards with overlapping populations when only one has a prohibition about referencing or discussing posts at the other. But…I don’t know what to do about that. I have no control over the rules of this board, and I have no interest in maintaining the same level of strictness about what can and can’t be talked about on my board. FWIW, I would never post anything at my board that I wouldn’t be willing to defend on this one. And if it were up to me, posters here would be able to call out people for shit they said over there. But it’s not up to me. So while I can understand how **BigT** might have fully-justified feelings about me based on my allowing posts he doesn’t like on another board, the rules of this board don’t allow me to respond to the little jabs he makes. Thus, I’d like him to stop making them. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/34 "2011-12-13T00:04:33Z")
There are any number of us who post here, there, and everywhere, and have no particular problems with the rules here and there. I’m not sure why **BigT** has the problem he appears to have; the dynamics of these two boards aren’t that hard to figure out. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/35 "2011-12-13T00:11:22Z")
If you’re reading a message board and you see something on it that you want to respond to–for good or ill–it’s not that hard to do so _on that message board_. **BigT** should sure as hell not be bringing it up over here, where it’s not allowed. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/36 "2011-12-13T00:12:43Z")
The idea that different message boards have different rules and cultures is difficult for some people? Who knew? ---
**Author:** ![woodstockbirdybird](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/woodstockbirdybird/32/7905_2.png) [@woodstockbirdybird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstockbirdybird)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/37 "2011-12-13T00:14:31Z")
Well, apparently, figuring out how to masturbate is difficult for some people, too, so it’s really not that surprising. ---
**Author:** ![Peeta\_Mellark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bc8723/32.png) [@Peeta\_Mellark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peeta_Mellark)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/38 "2011-12-13T00:22:37Z")
I just got 822 results for “How to Masturbate” on Amazon. Most of them are for women, though. Bless their hearts. ---
**Author:** ![not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/not_what_you_d_expect/32/3246_2.png) [@not\_what\_you\_d\_expect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/not_what_you_d_expect)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/39 "2011-12-13T00:38:59Z")
Gosh, I guess I’m smarter than I thought. I learned with no instruction. On the very first try even! ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2011, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923/40 "2011-12-13T00:46:46Z")
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten it perfect. So I just keep practicing… 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-bigt/605923.md?page=3)