# Dear cachiers: I am not an idiot. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 15, 2002, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440 "2002-03-15T09:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/1 "2002-03-15T09:03:58Z")
Scene: Mrs. Six and I are at the movie theater. I go to buy a medium Coke. Me: I’d like a medium Coke please. Her: Would you like any candy or popcorn with that today? Me: Just the Coke. Her: A large is just $.25 more and you get a free refill. Me: I’d like a medium Coke. I pay, she gives me the change, and gets out the cup. Her: What kind did you want? Me: A Coke. Just like the first three times I told you. Her: I only ask because some people say Coke when they want something else. Scene: We stop at Jack in the Box. Mrs. Six orders iced tea with her meal. Me: May we have some sugar please? Him: Which kind would you like? Me: Sugar. Him: We have Sweet ‘n’ Low, Equal, and regular. Me: Sugar. Are there really people out there who ask for a Coke _three times_ when they really want a Dr. Pepper? Are these people surprised when they get what they asked for _three times_? Do they order fish when what they really want is chicken and are then surprised to get fish? Should such people really be trusted with money in the first place? There are morons everywhere, so I suppose there must be people who order popcorn when they want nachos, then blame the cashier for their mistake. I, however, am not one of them, and I would appreciate it if you would not assume that I am when dealing with me. If I wanted artificial sweetener, I wouldn’t be asking for sugar. If I wanted 7-Up, I wouldn’t be asking for Coke. If I wanted a large, I would not have ordered a medium. If I wanted popcorn, I would have ordered it, but you’d probably assume I meant hot dog, so why take the chance? ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/2 "2002-03-15T09:05:52Z")
Dear **cashiers** : I may not be able to spell, but otherwise, I am not an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/3 "2002-03-15T09:31:27Z")
Ha! You may not be an idiot, but you sure can’t… Oh. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/4 "2002-03-15T09:40:17Z")
1. Yes, some customers are stupid enough to say Coke when they mean Sprite, or root beer. Still, some counter-workers (heh) don’t pay attention to their customers’ orders. Your saying Coke twice should have been enough. 2. You said “Sugar”. He asked you what kind, substitute or regular. You repeated “Sugar”. You didn’t really answer the question. (And yes, I have had customers toss back sugar packets and then point to the Equal and say, “Sugar”.) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/5 "2002-03-15T09:52:49Z")
But ‘diet coke’ ALWAYS means a diet drink. But it seems that a sure way to get a regular coke from the drive through is to ask for a Diet Coke!!! Bastards! ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/6 "2002-03-15T09:53:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AudreyK \* > \*\*2. You said “Sugar”. He asked you what kind, substitute or regular. You repeated “Sugar”. You didn’t really answer the question. \*\* Sween n Low (sacharrine) and Equal (aspartame) are not sugar. They are not kinds of sugar. They are artificial sweeteners. If I ask for sugar, I want sugar. It’s easy to identify the sugar packet. It’s the one that says “sugar” on it. It’s even color-coded for the illiterate (white). > [@](#): > > \*\*(And yes, I have had customers toss back sugar packets and then point to the Equal and say, “Sugar”.) \*\* They are idiots, and you are not to blame for giving them exactly what they asked for. ---
**Author:** ![meyer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@meyer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meyer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/7 "2002-03-15T10:23:21Z")
If you work as a cashier (or otherwise dealing with the general public) for a little while, you soon realize that there are a lot of VERY stupid people out there. There are also some very nasty people out there who will rip your head off if you don’t do what they _wanted_ you to do, rather than what they _asked_ you to do. Eventually you just ask everyone about everything. Also, a lot of places will force you to suggest further purchases to the customer - like the larger Coke in your first example. It’s not like they really care, but not asking could get them fired. Finally, not to kick you when your down to much, but it does sound like you were being just a little bit rude. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 10:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/8 "2002-03-15T10:46:43Z")
Currently working as a cashier, I know that there are an exponentially larger amount of idiots in FRONT of the register than there are behind it.People often ask for one thing when they mean something else, and expect us to know what they want. When the seventy fifth customer comes through giving you shit because they’re asking for one thing and meaning another, one tends to get a little rude. In the South especially, everything here is a “Coke.” So yes, people who want a Dr. Pepper will say repeatedly, “I’ll have a coke.” And when you give them a coke, they come back saying it’s not what they ordered. And not everyone can distinguish the difference between regular sugar and artificial sweeteners. I work at a grocery store (I’m not proud of it, and I’m hoping my other job will one day give me enough hours to let me quit), and it’s one of those top notch ones with about sixty-million different varieties of produce. There are wieghts and scale systems all over the place so people can wiegh and price their own produce, so when the get to the line with twelve different things, we can check them out faster. You would not believe the number of times I have to look at a bag of green stuff, with no label, ask the customer “Do you know what this is?” and I get the response “No, I don’t know.” How the fuck do people not know what gorceries they’re buying? It happens all the time. Or they’ll wiegh half thier produce and not the other half. We have about thirty different variety of Apple ALONE, and unfortunately, we can’t recognise them all. But when you’re buying your own food, you whould know. We go through a LOT of shit from a lot of STUPID people. I won’t deny the fact that I’ve sat there and looked at cashiers and thought “You are one dumb sonvabitch,” but please, have a little bit of compassion, because no matter how stupid you think they are, they’ve dealt with hundreds of people stupider and ruder than them long before you came along. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/9 "2002-03-15T11:34:16Z")
The problem with the large number of idiots in this world is that they force people to treat _everyone_ like they’re idiots. Unfortunately, you offend a lot of non-idiots in the process. The idiots, of course, never notice a thing. > [@](#): > > Sween n Low (sacharrine) and Equal (aspartame) are not sugar. They are not kinds of sugar. They are artificial sweeteners. If I ask for sugar, I want sugar. It’s easy to identify the sugar packet. It’s the one that says “sugar” on it. It’s even color-coded for the illiterate (white). I know it, and you know it, but in my experience, it seems that very few other people know it and actually call it artificial sweetener. I worked at McDs for 4 years, and the only people to call them artificial sweeteners were the nurses from the hospitals down the street. Conversations typically went like this: Customer: (orders coffee or iced tea) Counterperson: Would you like cream or sugar with that? Customer: Yeah. Can I get two cream, and two Equal? So the sugar substitutes do tend to be treated as a variety of sugar. “Sugar” has become the generic name given to the white sweetening stuff that gets dumped into one’s drink. And because most people take real sugar with their coffees and teas, the generalization seldom poses a problem. > [@](#): > > Also, a lot of places will force you to suggest further purchases to the customer - like the larger Coke in your first example. It’s not like they really care, but not asking could get them fired. Glad you brought that up. The place I worked at was very big on the suggestive selling (which sounds dirtier than it really is) and seemed to believe that we could follow the lame script they wanted us to follow. This script required the customer, IMO, to be an utterly manipulable moron. Anyone with a brain could sense that this approach makes customers tense… defensive, almost. I abandoned it early on. But my managers noticed this, scolded me for it, and took off points for it during performance reviews. It was a system that worked well on paper but was impractical in reality. Your options were to either live with the stupidity, or not get a raise. Why yes, I’m glad to be out of customer service. Was it noticeable? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 11:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/10 "2002-03-15T11:38:08Z")
When I worked un the Arches in high school (many moons ago - I was there when they introduced Chicken McNuggets) we would have people who would order a “soda”. No flavor, just a “soda”. Since the only thing we had on the menu with "soda " in the name was “orange soda”, that was what they got. Rarely got any complaints over giving people the wrong drink, either. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/11 "2002-03-15T11:58:56Z")
> [@](#): > > Are there really people out there who ask for a Coke three times when they really want a Dr. Pepper? What, you’ve never been to the South? Maybe that’s where your cashier was from. Here, “coke” is a synonym for what in other parts is called “soda”, “cola”, or […wince…] “pop”. It sounded to me like she was just trying to be helpful and you were just trying to be a jackass intent on making a point that only you cared about. Why not simply, “Just a regular medium Coca-Cola, please,” in response? Or just, “Plain sugar, thanks.”? ---
**Author:** ![Kaitlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/73ab20/32.png) [@Kaitlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaitlyn)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/12 "2002-03-15T12:12:35Z")
I have worked as a cashier at Hardee’s. My wife currently works as one (McDonald’s). I have sympathy for people who do these jobs. I was not complaining about stupid cashiers, but rather cashiers who assume that _I_ am stupid. I don’t mind being asked once for clarification. In the first instance, I gave the same order three times and the cashier still assumed that maybe I meant something else. I don’t happen to live in the South, and I go to this theater quite a bit. No other salesperson has ever assumed that I meant anything other than Coke when I ordered Coke. In the second instance, I specified the type of sweetener I wanted, and was asked for clarification. This I did not mind. I repeated the name of the sweetener I wanted, and was asked to tell the man a third time. However, I will alter my rant as to the “suggested selling” technique. This isn’t the cashiers being insulting, it’s an insulting corporate policy. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/13 "2002-03-15T12:23:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*What, you’ve never been to the South? Maybe that’s where your cashier was from. Here, “coke” is a synonym for what in other parts is called “soda”, “cola”, or […wince…] “pop”. It sounded to me like she was just trying to be helpful and you were just trying to be a jackass intent on making a point that only you cared about. Why not simply, “Just a regular medium Coca-Cola, please,” in response? Or just, “Plain sugar, thanks.”? \*\* I lived in Texas and now Arkansas so I’m quite familiar with how people use the word coke. I’ve never seen anyone at a movie theater, fast food counter, or a restaurant ask for a coke and really meant a Dr. Pepper or Sprite. When I ordered a coke at a restuarant if they didn’t have Coca-Cola they asked “Is Pepsi ok?” At least that’s what happened most of the time. Once in a while they served me Pepsi and I’d politely ask them to replace it with Dr. Pepper. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/14 "2002-03-15T13:09:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number Six \* > \*\*Sween n Low (sacharrine) and Equal (aspartame) are not sugar. They are not kinds of sugar. They are artificial sweeteners. If I ask for sugar, I want sugar. It’s easy to identify the sugar packet. It’s the one that says “sugar” on it. It’s even color-coded for the illiterate (white). > \*\* True story. I passed out at work at once from hypoglycemia(I’m a dibetic). One of the security guards knew this and knew what to do. He got an orange juice from a vending machine, and then he sent a co-worker of mine for packets of sugar. He was going to dose the OJ with sugar. The co-worker comes back with a handful of sweet and low packets. This was an allegedly smart man who made about $25.00 and hour. I never let him live it down. I know, I know…off-topic…I’m sorry. ---
**Author:** ![NightRabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bbce88/32.png) [@NightRabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NightRabbit)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/15 "2002-03-15T14:40:47Z")
Oh man. We live very close to the US-Canadian border, right next to Quebec. As a result, our malls get alot of Montreal traffic, which means… yup, great fun trying to decipher broken english. My brother works as a cashier in a pretzel-place in the mall, and comes home with great “canadian stories.” People will ask for “a drink with no glass.” They’ll point to a pretzel and ask what’s in it, ask again, and order it. After taking a bite, they’ll storm back to the counter and complain that they didn’t order a pretzel with THAT on it. Old women will empty their entire change purses out on the counter to look for a dime- notwithstanding that there are 10 impatient people behind her in line. Cashiers have to put up with a lot of crap. At least they don’t make my brother follow that damn suggestive advertising shit. ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/16 "2002-03-15T14:56:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Number Six \* > Me: May we have some sugar please? > Him: Which kind would you like? > Me: Sugar. > Him: We have Sweet ‘n’ Low, Equal, and regular. > Me: Sugar. For some reason, this reminds me of the scene from _Men in Black_, when the alien has just put on the “Edgar-suit.” ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/17 "2002-03-15T15:25:55Z")
The real fun begins when you want butter. Not margarine, butter. ---
**Author:** ![Suo\_Na](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Suo\_Na](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suo_Na)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/18 "2002-03-15T15:53:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary T \* > \*\*The real fun begins when you want butter. Not margarine, butter. \*\* Oh god, yes. Wait staff do not seem to understand the difference. It’s not that I expect them to have butter on hand, just to know the difference and tell me if they’re going to put margerine on my toast, so I can ask them not to. Same goes with maple syrup. I ask if they use real maple syrup. They say yes. They bring me “pancake” syrup. I have to send it back and get a fruit syrup instead. ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/19 "2002-03-15T16:17:01Z")
Ditto real cream vs. squeezy cream. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440/20 "2002-03-15T16:27:40Z")
And I know you’re just doing your job, but when I come into Burger Whiz and get a burger and fries and no drink, please don’t try to convince me how much happier I’d be with the meal deal. I don’t want the drink. I’m gonna take it back home and drink water. I don’t care if it’s “only 40 cents more”, that’s forty wasted cents for a drink I don’t want. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-cachiers-i-am-not-an-idiot/98440.md?page=2)