# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/181 "2012-02-11T01:14:48Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Lay the fuck off of **Alice.** [Alice? Lay the fuck off Alice!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWJRVaM-Iv8). šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/182 "2012-02-11T01:15:04Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > Chiroptera, youā€™re kinda hitting below the belt. Alice isnā€™t the Pit-ee, and every time the armchair psychiatrists come out in full force there are those who come right back with the ā€œyou canā€™t diagnose people over the internet.ā€ Itā€™s not worth getting worked up over it. True. Iā€™m not really that worked up over it, believe me. I actually donā€™t care at all about Alice or CP. Not one shred. I assume people who spew publically are basically doing it to be entertaining. to the masses. I canā€™t believe anyone is actually serious when they post this sort of shit. Really? When people put their personal angst all over the internet for everyone and their sister to see, they do rather lay themselves out there for entertainment value, no? Yes? No? This is entertainment and mindless dalliance, not real life, right? In my world, serious personal shit isā€¦just that. Surely people arenā€™t serious when they spill their guts (and their real names and their embarassingly stupid problems) all over public message boards, for everyone in the world to [del] point and laugh [/del] see? Or do I have this whole internetty message boardy dynamic all wrong? Iā€™m supposed to get personally invested and _care_ about you retards? Oh hell no. HELL no. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/183 "2012-02-11T01:22:55Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Or do I have this whole internetty message boardy dynamic all wrong? Iā€™m supposed to get personally invested and _care_ about you retards? Oh hell no. HELL no. Itā€™s not either get personally invested or be a dick. There is a gray zone that most decent people manage to navigate perfectly fine. It ainā€™t that complicated. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/184 "2012-02-11T01:25:08Z")
I donā€™t really have a dog in this fight, but ā€¦ what the hell. Personally, Iā€™d rather err on the side of being a sucker than being a jerk. Keep soldiering on, **CitizenPained**. If youā€™re going through what you say youā€™re going through, a thread like this is the last thing you need. And if youā€™re not ā€¦ well played, girl! ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/185 "2012-02-11T01:36:34Z")
To **chiroptera** , in a word, yes. Some people do take the internet seriously and in some cases, itā€™s their only connection to the rest of the world. I know, Iā€™ve pretty much been there myself several times in the past and have seen the same thing with a few other members here on the board. So, there ya go. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/186 "2012-02-11T01:37:41Z")
Wow, I had only read chiropteraā€™s non-pit posts before this. That was one of the cruelest things Iā€™ve read in a long time. I need to stay out of the pit. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/187 "2012-02-11T02:21:19Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Wow, I had only read chiropteraā€™s non-pit posts before this. That was one of the cruelest things Iā€™ve read in a long time. I need to stay out of the pit. Thenk you, thenk you verramuch. This means so much. Moi, cruel. Cool! People to whom the intenet is their only connection to the world (which, BTW, is not the case with CitizenPained, if you do a leetle research) and henceforth share every fucking tedious thing in their lives onlineā€¦ ā€¦deserve what they get. Which is some glurgy sympathy and money and gifts from the soft-hearted, and a hefty dose of well-deserved scorn and ridicule from those capable of critical thinking. Both be fine. Just own it. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/188 "2012-02-11T02:27:35Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Thenk you, thenk you verramuch. This means so much. Moi, cruel. Cool! > > People to whom the intenet is their only connection to the world (which, BTW, is not the case with CitizenPained, if you do a leetle research) and henceforth share every fucking tedious thing in their lives onlineā€¦ > > ā€¦deserve what they get. Which is some glurgy sympathy and money and gifts from the soft-hearted, and a hefty dose of well-deserved scorn and ridicule from those capable of critical thinking. > > Both be fine. Just own it. Giving you the benefit if the doubt hereā€¦ maybe the distinction is then for those who donā€™t share every bit of minutia then. Is that better? Because if your truly an agoraphobic (to just pick one example), is ridicule the best one can expect with your critical thinking skills? ETA: Iā€™m not really sure why my phone appended my location to this post, but like the doofus I am, I think I should still take it out. If anyone is personally interested in where I pglhysicslly am, PM me and Iā€™ll share. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/189 "2012-02-11T02:41:24Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > BTW, just happened upon a post by CitizenPained from Sept 2011 where she mentions being on 40k and anticipating going full time in 2012 and getting a pay rise to 55k. Does anyone remember when she got cut back to her current 10k salary? I imagine someone who shares oh-so-very-much would have been sure to vent/whine to the Dope about her hours being cut so dramatically. Note: posted as a poster, not a mod. Iā€™ve looked for that post but canā€™t find it. Can you supply a link? Thx. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/190 "2012-02-11T02:53:00Z")
I have an hourly rate of 19.32. Iā€™ve posted that. I get $24,000 in child support. 19.32 x 20 x 4 = 1545.60. Or 19.32 x 20 = 386.40. x 52 weeks a year = 20,092.80ā€¦except that I donā€™t work year round. So thatā€™s assuming I get a summer school slot (we all want em, and not all of us get em). I only have a 10 month contract. I think itā€™s 40 weeks. I havenā€™t checked. So 386.40 x 40 = $15,456.00. Add child support (Iā€™ve said before my sonā€™s dad is generous and well, loaded) and itā€™s about $39,456. But living costs, the amount of money I spend on his food, his schooling, and whatever and we make it and it feels nice to share when I can. We just canā€™t afford major emergencies. Or rather, when I do have a major emergency, my savings is depleted or Iā€™m selling something online. (Dentist, car problem, etc. Just the car issue alone cost me $2,000 since December 26th.) The salaried employees donā€™t get the 19.32 rate. They get a salary of about $33k a year and benefits (the company is OK, not too generous though). So that would put me at the 57 ish mark in 2012 if I get a spot. Iā€™m not sure exactly how their pay structure is, just that their hourly rate is lower re: benefits, time off, etc. Iā€™m not lying. Itā€™s just that people donā€™t commit all my posts to memory. Or they nitpick and twist. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/191 "2012-02-11T02:57:56Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Thenk you, thenk you verramuch. This means so much. Moi, cruel. Cool! > > People to whom the intenet is their only connection to the world (which, BTW, is not the case with CitizenPained, if you do a leetle research) and henceforth share every fucking tedious thing in their lives onlineā€¦ > > ā€¦deserve what they get. Which is some glurgy sympathy and money and gifts from the soft-hearted, and a hefty dose of well-deserved scorn and ridicule from those capable of critical thinking. > > Both be fine. Just own it. Just curious, since you obviously think you are among the critical thinking (rather than being an ass, which your analysis conveniently leaves out): If someone is really so pathetic that there only connection to the world is through the internet and it is obvious that they are having a hard time in their pathetic little life, what does scorn and ridicule do to help them that simply ignoring them doesnā€™t? I donā€™t consider myself a soft-hearted Doper. I have never donated to any cause, and you will not see me rushing in with ((((hugs)))) for anyone. But nor will you see me kicking people when they are down. What would be the point other than to make me feel better about my own self? If this world is just make-believe, then you shouldnā€™t feel strongly one way or the other. Not caring implies indifference, not cruelty. Being a jerk on a message board is far more indicative of a disordered personality than caring about someone on a message board. In my non-expert opinion, of course. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/192 "2012-02-11T03:03:29Z")
> [@faithfool](#): > > Giving you the benefit if the doubt hereā€¦ maybe the distinction is then for those who donā€™t share every bit of minutia then. Is that better? Because if your truly an agoraphobic (to just pick one example), is ridicule the best one can expect with your critical thinking skills? > > ETA: Iā€™m not really sure why my phone appended my location to this post, but like the doofus I am, I think I should still take it out. If anyone is personally interested in where I pglhysicslly am, PM me and Iā€™ll share. šŸ˜ƒ Nah, but if one is truly agoraphobic (or has an agorophobic ex, it gets confusing who has which disability) then hanging out in bars, weekly lunches,some sort of parenting classes, gambling, being out downtown after 9 pm, and somehow managiing to be a full-time part-time teacher and yadda yaddaā€¦wait, what is agoraphobic? Not to mention a rich father who picks up the bills, rich ex-or-something boyfriends and possibly exes who pay the bills, rich Chinese or Jewish or something mothers who pick up bills, part-time teachingā€¦well damn I wish I had all that bill-paying help. I might now, be able to quit working and rely on dads and moms and exes and Dopers instead of, you know, actually WORKING for a living! I might be able to hang out quivering in fear, while telling myself I can handle taking care of my child, and possibly caring for another child. Oh, and a puppy. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/193 "2012-02-11T03:05:42Z")
Nothing about that last paragraph actually sounds impossible. Youā€™ve never met people like that? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/194 "2012-02-11T03:06:06Z")
Okay, I see. Your specifically talking about the subject of this pitting and not people on general. I understand now. ETA: Okay dammit! My location is appending to all my posts. What the hell am I doing wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/195 "2012-02-11T03:08:27Z")
Have you tried turning off location services? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/196 "2012-02-11T03:14:34Z")
> [@samclem](#): > > Note: posted as a poster, not a mod. > > Iā€™ve looked for that post but canā€™t find it. Can you supply a link? Thx. Itā€™s about the 14th post in this thread: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-624691.html](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-624691.html) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/197 "2012-02-11T03:17:00Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > Have you tried turning off location services? What and where is that? Iā€™ve posted twice now and it hasnā€™t happened. What did I do this time different? ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/198 "2012-02-11T03:17:14Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Thenk you, thenk you verramuch. This means so much. Moi, cruel. Cool! > > People to whom the intenet is their only connection to the world (which, BTW, is not the case with CitizenPained, if you do a leetle research) and henceforth share every fucking tedious thing in their lives onlineā€¦ > > ā€¦deserve what they get. Which is some glurgy sympathy and money and gifts from the soft-hearted, and a hefty dose of well-deserved scorn and ridicule from those capable of critical thinking. > > Both be fine. Just own it. I was specifically referring to your cheap shot at Alice the Goon. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/199 "2012-02-11T03:21:07Z")
Ah, I got it now! Thank you. It mustā€™ve been a flipped switch on the geo tag. Sorry for the hijack folks! ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/200 "2012-02-11T03:36:35Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > People get an earned income tax credit for working with a child, hence a large ā€˜returnā€™ (which Iā€™ve called a nice gift, thanks government) for a person who made just under $10k > [@CitizenPained](#): > > I only have a 10 month contract. I think itā€™s 40 weeks. I havenā€™t checked. So 386.40 x 40 = $15,456.00. Add child support (Iā€™ve said before my sonā€™s dad is generous and well, loaded) and itā€™s about $39,456. So you were just lying when you said you made just under 10k? These are the kinds of things that make people doubt your stories. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=11)