# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/201 "2012-02-11T03:42:58Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Incredibly distasteful of you to attempt to get other posters to join you in diagnosing a stranger’s mental problems over the internet. You mean the poster’s own posting? > **[The Anxiety is Killing Me!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=641551#post14762325)** > > I know, another wah wah thread. I apologize. I promise I already feel like shit about myself for how I am. I am an anxious person. A shrink once said I had “Generalized Anxiety Disorder with a touch of Shitty Parent Syndrome”. \[ul\] \[li\]I am... > [@The Anxiety is Killing Me!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anxiety-is-killing-me/612368/37): > > My old one is for 1mg, I think. Maybe I need Ativan? I’ve poked into my emergency stash (kept the bottle when I knew I’d be running out of health care) but I’m not sure how well it’s working. Sure, that’ll work. Dig up an old scrip, any old scrip, who cares what it is. You are a fantastic mommy, wtf, right, it doesnt matter what meds you have available. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/202 "2012-02-11T03:54:25Z")
Golly, it’s just gone way past precious into utterly remarkable: After having said that her father would pay for her car… > [@The Anxiety is Killing Me!](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/the-anxiety-is-killing-me/612368/46): > > That was supposed to say CARE. He most certainly didn’t pay for my car. How is CP’s current medical condition – pregnant with a side order of chlamydia – partially her father’s fault? That’s a new twist, indeed. or is it that her psychiatric condition is her father’s fault (partly) and he’s going to pay for her psychiatrist visits? Ah the plot thickens. Personally I find it a little below me to speculate on the specific malady of someone who is obviously troubled beyond all normal, non-incarcerated parameters. But if she keeps delivering the stupid on a platter, I can’t help but observe it. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/203 "2012-02-11T04:04:08Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Golly, it’s just gone way past precious into utterly remarkable: > > After having said that her father would pay for her car… > > How is CP’s current medical condition – pregnant with a side order of chlamydia – partially her father’s fault? That’s a new twist, indeed. or is it that her psychiatric condition is her father’s fault (partly) and he’s going to pay for her psychiatrist visits? > > Ah the plot thickens. > > Personally I find it a little below me to speculate on the specific malady of someone who is obviously troubled beyond all normal, non-incarcerated parameters. But if she keeps delivering the stupid on a platter, I can’t help but observe it. Was the care referring to her psychiatric care for her emotional problems? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/204 "2012-02-11T04:13:06Z")
**CitizenPained** , do yourself a huge favor. Future employers and perhaps even your current employer, student’s parents, future romantic interests, students, your ex, your son and his friends when they are old enough, basically everyone checks people out on the internet. You have a left a blazing trail of poor judgment, STD’s, pregnancy, mental health issues, how you care for your child, finances, your job, Rx drug abuse, drinking, etc. You need to stop and find a way to fix this. You are ruining opportunities that haven’t come your way yet. You are affecting your future. No one wants to hire a hot mess. Need an internet shoulder to cry on and some advice? Great. Do it as Jane Doe who lives in the NW somewhere. You are screwing your future up with every word you type that can be connected back to you. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/205 "2012-02-11T04:17:59Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > Golly, it’s just gone way past precious into utterly remarkable: > > After having said that her father would pay for her car… > > How is CP’s current medical condition – pregnant with a side order of chlamydia – partially her father’s fault? That’s a new twist, indeed. or is it that her psychiatric condition is her father’s fault (partly) and he’s going to pay for her psychiatrist visits? > > Ah the plot thickens. > . I have seen it in a movie, but I can not remember the name. The evil genius daughter hits on a plan as to how she can blackmail her rich father for big bucks…by threatening to reveal the deep dark secret of how HE (the fiendish father) is responsible for the madness, the horrible, horrible madness. Slowly the plot thickens… ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/206 "2012-02-11T04:23:23Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > Need an internet shoulder to cry on and some advice? Great. Do it as Jane Doe who lives in the NW somewhere. You are screwing your future up with every word you type that can be connected back to you. I agree. I just Googled her username for shits 'n giggles and up popped her whole CV. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/207 "2012-02-11T05:42:17Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > I agree. I just Googled her username for shits 'n giggles and up popped her whole CV. _joins the crowd who says that CP needs to learn to protect herself online._ I’ve dropped enough info here that anyone who was interested could find me…but it would take a couple of minutes of searching. When I googled CP, everything showed up. I sometimes share too much, I think everyone does at times. I got sex position advice in a different thread. :smack: CP, nothing, NOTHING that happens online is forgotten or lost. It is all discoverable. If random strangers on a BB can find out so much about you, do know that your future bosses/lovers/insurance agents will. Now…if anyone can find that vanity pic of me in leather pants and a chain maile vest that I lost…I’d be very greatful. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/208 "2012-02-11T14:14:38Z")
How are you guys getting all that? I mostly just got Straight Dope and Facebook links. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/209 "2012-02-11T14:20:49Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > How are you guys getting all that? I mostly just got Straight Dope and Facebook links. Are you using Alta Vista? ---
**Author:** ![PotLuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbce88/32.png) [@PotLuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PotLuck)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/210 "2012-02-11T14:24:15Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > How are you guys getting all that? I mostly just got Straight Dope and Facebook links. Answering that question would compromise CitizenPained even further, and I don’t think anyone should make a bad situation worse. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/211 "2012-02-11T17:13:14Z")
> [@PotLuck](#): > > Answering that question would compromise CitizenPained even further, and I don’t think anyone should make a bad situation worse. Maybe, except most of us want her to get help and aren’t out to hurt her. I wanted to get a more specific idea of where she was to look for a Jewish organization that offered mental health services and was amazed to see more info on her than if she had handed me her wallet, diary, photo albums, house keys and taken me to work with her. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/212 "2012-02-11T17:37:59Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Are you using Alta Vista? Infoseek. Isn’t that what everyone uses? ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/213 "2012-02-11T18:15:58Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Are you using Alta Vista? No, Google. Wait, found a reference to her actual name and googled that and found her CV. Yeah… ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/214 "2012-02-11T18:43:56Z")
> [@LurkerInNJ](#): > > **CitizenPained** , do yourself a huge favor. Future employers and perhaps even your current employer, student’s parents, future romantic interests, students, your ex, your son and his friends when they are old enough, basically everyone checks people out on the internet. You have a left a blazing trail of poor judgment, STD’s, pregnancy, mental health issues, how you care for your child, finances, your job, Rx drug abuse, drinking, etc. > > You need to stop and find a way to fix this. You are ruining opportunities that haven’t come your way yet. You are affecting your future. No one wants to hire a hot mess. > > Need an internet shoulder to cry on and some advice? Great. Do it as Jane Doe who lives in the NW somewhere. You are screwing your future up with every word you type that can be connected back to you. I for one don’t believe all of that stuff is real. Elsewhere on the net she claims to make between $50,000 and $100,00. She’s either lying there or here. I suspect all the info you are referring to is there to bolster the sock. Its pathetically easy to do. ---
**Author:** ![coolbyrne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@coolbyrne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coolbyrne)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/215 "2012-02-11T20:03:51Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > > [@CitizenPained](#): > > > > get an earned income tax credit for working with a child, hence a large ‘return’ (which I’ve called a nice gift, thanks government) for a person who made just under $10k. > > > [@CitizenPained](#): > > > > I only have a 10 month contract. I think it’s 40 weeks. I haven’t checked. So 386.40 x 40 = $15,456.00. Add child support (I’ve said before my son’s dad is generous and well, loaded) and it’s about $39,456. > > So you were just lying when you said you made just under 10k? > > These are the kinds of things that make people doubt your stories. And then there’s [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/archive/index.php/t-624691.html), as originally posted by **Cazzle** : > [@](#): > > CitizenPained > 09-18-2011, 07:12 PM > > It’s myself and my son and almost $40k a year. His school tuition and our rent are things that cost the most. Next is food and utilities. No cable TV or car payment, but healthy food, a clean and safe living space and a good education for my son are non-negotiable. > > I hope to move to fulltime hours in January. Then my yearly income is more like 55k. I plan on saving almost all of the increase (figuring higher taxes and health insurance and etc) because I can’t be a renter forever. So is it 10K or 40K? ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/216 "2012-02-11T20:13:27Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > So you were just lying when you said you made just under 10k? > > These are the kinds of things that make people doubt your stories. How is that a lie if I started working this school year? Did you know that schools don’t run year-round? I have said on here more than once that I was desperately seeking a job for _months_. Also, I’d appreciate it if people on The Board That Can’t Be Mentioned would stop plotting openly to call CPS and have my child taken away. It’s really disgusting. This whole thing is disgusting. I’ve never felt so sick over ‘the internet’ in my life. I nearly checked myself into a hospital last night because, for whatever reason, being bullied as an adult still hurts. It’s obvious I shouldn’t stay here any longer. I wasn’t kidding when I said "the anxiety is killing me’. The nastiness and taunting and twisting of words is much, much worse than being scared to go to the grocery store. Since I have a history of suicidal ideation, I need to fucking go because I’m already depressed. Now if I could only resist checking to see what nasty things people were saying about me… ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/217 "2012-02-11T20:20:48Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > How is that a lie if I started working this school year? Did you know that schools don’t run year-round? I have said on here more than once that I was desperately seeking a job for _months_. > > Also, I’d appreciate it if people on The Board That Can’t Be Mentioned would stop plotting openly to call CPS and have my child taken away. It’s really disgusting. This whole thing is disgusting. I’ve never felt so sick over ‘the internet’ in my life. I nearly checked myself into a hospital last night because, for whatever reason, being bullied as an adult still hurts. > > It’s obvious I shouldn’t stay here any longer. I wasn’t kidding when I said "the anxiety is killing me’. The nastiness and taunting and twisting of words is much, much worse than being scared to go to the grocery store. Since I have a history of suicidal ideation, I need to fucking go because I’m already depressed. Now if I could only resist checking to see what nasty things people were saying about me… Then grow the fuck up, get the fuck off the internet, and **get help**. If what you say is true, quit caring about what fucking strangers have to say about you and GET SOME FUCKING HELP FOR YOU, OR AT LEAST THE SAKE OF YOUR SON. Quit dicking around (metaphorically and literally) and making excuses as to why you can’t do x or y. Don’t get surprised when random strangers don’t believe everything you say over the internet when your story appears full of holes. If you had one iota of common sense you would turn off the computer and go start looking into the help you need. Crying about Every. Single. Thing. in your life doesn’t help if there’s no action, and all it does is make people suspicious when all you can post is about one bad thing after another and no “but I’m improving on a!” “I’m taking care of b” posts. Fuck, man…Is common sense so rare? ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/218 "2012-02-11T20:36:07Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Also, I’d appreciate it if people on The Board That Can’t Be Mentioned would stop plotting openly to call CPS and have my child taken away. It’s really disgusting. This whole thing is disgusting. I’ve never felt so sick over ‘the internet’ in my life. I nearly checked myself into a hospital last night because, for whatever reason, being bullied as an adult still hurts. Bullied? Narcissism online is not without risk. There isn’t a person here that believes even 1% of your story that doesn’t think both you and your child are in danger. You broadcast every deeply personal detail about your life and health along with flashing neon signs that lead straight to you and then cry that you are being bullied??? I believe that your conduct over the past few days is a cry for help. You can’t bring yourself to help yourself, so you let the situation get so bad that complete strangers take it upon themselves to get you help. Do you not see that you are the one who has a duty to guard your own privacy and identity when you post such wild and personal information? You are fucking up you and your son’s future all by yourself and blaming ‘the internet’??? ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/219 "2012-02-11T20:46:52Z")
In my opinion, \*\*CitizenPained \*\*is using classic con artist techniques. I suggest not sending her one cent no matter how needy her “son”, “students”, or “puppy” are. She doesn’t need books, she needs marks who she can hit up again and again for bigger donations each time. [Who does one contact re: donation threads?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640189) > [@](#): > > We’re trying to do a book project, but I can’t afford to cover all of it. I wanted to know which mod do I PM for permission to ask? I just really really want my kids to be able to do this. I’ve gladly thrown down $100 in the past for my kiddos, but I don’t have that option atm. [Wikipedia: Foot-in-the-door\_technique](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) > [@](#): > > **Foot-in-the-door technique (FITD)** is a compliance tactic that involves getting a person to agree to a large request by first setting them up by having that person agree to a modest request. The foot-in-the-door technique succeeds due to a basic human reality that social scientists call “successive approximations”. Basically, the more a subject goes along with small requests or commitments, the more likely that subject is to continue in a desired direction of attitude or behavioral change and feel obligated to go along with larger requests. FITD works by first getting a small yes and then getting an even bigger yes. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/220 "2012-02-11T20:55:02Z")
I keep hoping that CP is just preforming in order to get attention. She stated in one of her posts that she was interested in getting someone to write her life story, and people could be getting manipulated into this- rescue me, see what a mess I am- scenario for some dramatic effect. And she has the classic symptoms of histrionic personality disorder (sorry Alice), but then their is the awful possibility that she IS suicidal, her child is in danger, and we will all feel the worst when a real incident occurs. Maybe the proper authorities should be contacted. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=12)