# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/221 "2012-02-11T21:22:50Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > This whole thing is disgusting. I’ve never felt so sick over ‘the internet’ in my life. I nearly checked myself into a hospital last night because, for whatever reason, being bullied as an adult still hurts. > > It’s obvious I shouldn’t stay here any longer. I wasn’t kidding when I said "the anxiety is killing me’. The nastiness and taunting and twisting of words is much, much worse than being scared to go to the grocery store. Since I have a history of suicidal ideation, I need to fucking go because I’m already depressed. Now if I could only resist checking to see what nasty things people were saying about me… First off, “you guys are so mean, I’m going to go kill myself” is something I’ve heard elsewhere and seen used on this board before. It’s nothing but an attempt at emotional blackmail, pure and simple. If you are really so easily frazzled by complete strangers on the Internet, you should, oh I don’t know, get the fuck off the internet and do something about your problems. And I say that as someone who has been through depression, so it’s not like I don’t know how it feels. It’s true that some people are teasing you, but more are just pointing out the giant gaping holes in your story. If your stories are all made up, well I guess you’re getting some of what you want (attention), but not other parts of what you want (money). Too bad for you. If your stories are even partway true then you need some serious help. And help is out there but you refuse to help yourself. Either way, if your son is real, you are doing him a terrible disservice. You are not a good mother, whether it’s because of your numerous personal problems or because of your childish drive towards pathological lying. If he is a real kid, I hope for his sake you change your ways one way or the other, or he is going to be a massively fucked up adult. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/222 "2012-02-11T21:54:08Z")
So you gonna tell your son’s father that despite the 24 grand he pays in child support, your son doesn’t even have a bed of his own? ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/223 "2012-02-11T21:59:49Z")
Are air mattresses expensive? They aren’t good if you have cats, though. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/224 "2012-02-11T22:02:51Z")
> [@AnalogSignal](#): > > In my opinion, \*\*CitizenPained \*\*is using classic con artist techniques. I suggest not sending her one cent no matter how needy her “son”, “students”, or “puppy” are. She doesn’t need books, she needs marks who she can hit up again and again for bigger donations each time. > > [Who does one contact re: donation threads?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=640189) > > [Wikipedia: Foot-in-the-door\_technique](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foot-in-the-door_technique) Wait, she can’t afford a bed for her kid, but she put down $100 bucks for her students to get books? WTF??? (At least, that’s what I’m getting here about the “donation” thread) ---
**Author:** ![Snow\_Pea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Snow\_Pea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snow_Pea)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/225 "2012-02-11T22:22:25Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Wait, she can’t afford a bed for her kid, but she put down $100 bucks for her students to get books? WTF??? And don’t forget, she totally has the bux to [go get her car detailed](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=14758835&postcount=244) :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/226 "2012-02-11T23:00:25Z")
And salon highlights to go with her new hairdryer! (Highlights at a salon are as expensive there as here, right?). ---
**Author:** ![Taters](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/taters/32/2845_2.png) [@Taters](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taters)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/227 "2012-02-11T23:27:04Z")
I don’t know about Denver, but I know that where I live, highlights run anywhere from $50.00 to $120.00 depending on where you go. That’s just the highlighting. The washing, conditioning, cutting cost additional money. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/228 "2012-02-11T23:59:37Z")
From a why mock the suicidal thread: > [@Why do some people mock the ones who are suicidal?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-do-some-people-mock-the-ones-who-are-suicidal/612537/14): > > Because it makes them feel bigger about themselves, or they don’t believe them and want to be dicks, or mostly for entertainment. > > Because people are dicks. Especially some Dopers. I think some Dopers who would otherwise be sympathetic or at least neutral become “dicks” when they see the kindest hearted Dopers being spun tales of poverty and woe, and feel they are being taken advantage of. I think seeing threads that attempt to skirt the rules about no unapproved appeals for donations by posing as a request for more information on how to get approval make some Dopers question the integrity of the poster. I think details that don’t seem to add up make some Dopers question the authenticity of what they’re being told. I think threads that are subsequently started by the poster under suspicion about her fragile mental state are viewed as an attempt emotionally blackmail the doubting Dopers into leaving the holes in her story alone. I think that a suicidal Doper is someone who automatically gets sympathy, unless they’re setting off warning bells for other Dopers who’ve encountered sympathy trolls and scammers before. ---
**Author:** ![coolbyrne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bc79bd/32.png) [@coolbyrne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coolbyrne)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/229 "2012-02-12T00:49:29Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > How is that a lie if I started working this school year? Did you know that schools don’t run year-round? I have said on here more than once that I was desperately seeking a job for _months_. > > Also, I’d appreciate it if people on The Board That Can’t Be Mentioned would stop plotting openly to call CPS and have my child taken away. It’s really disgusting. This whole thing is disgusting. I’ve never felt so sick over ‘the internet’ in my life. I nearly checked myself into a hospital last night because, for whatever reason, being bullied as an adult still hurts. > > It’s obvious I shouldn’t stay here any longer. I wasn’t kidding when I said "the anxiety is killing me’. The nastiness and taunting and twisting of words is much, much worse than being scared to go to the grocery store. Since I have a history of suicidal ideation, I need to fucking go because I’m already depressed. Now if I could only resist checking to see what nasty things people were saying about me… But in August you were claiming you made 40K, and that in January, you were hoping to move up to full time which would give you about 55K. So what happened when school started? You’ve gone from 40K to 10K in six months, when school is in full swing? And you’re getting 24K from the father for child support… tell me again why your son hasn’t had a bed of his own since he was a _ **toddler** _??? Does this get through to you at all? Do you read the questions people pose and think about them at all? Do you see the contradictions between stating your babydaddy is agoraphobic but is a big time casino player? Do you see why people ask how you can be carrying around an ectopic pregnancy, when the survival percentages for the fetus are ZERO? Can you not see the problem when you tell one story of how your school/centre provides free/reduced lunch for all, but then you tell a story of how you had to feed a student again? Or how you donated $100 to a charitable cause but your son doesn’t have a bed? Or how you wanted to buy a tablet for your son and brother for Christmas, but 60 days later are claiming poverty? (And wouldn’t your 7 year old son be better off with, oh, A BED OF HIS OWN instead of a tablet??) Or how you think you’re meticulously caring for your son, but don’t see the conflict between that and taking Klonopin and wine? If any of these things are true, please, PLEASE seek some professional help. For everything. Emotionally, mentally, physically, financially. Get off the fucking internet and GET HELP. If not for you, then for your son. And get him a bed, for God’s sake! It’s not healthy for HIM to be sharing a bed with his mother at the age of seven. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/230 "2012-02-12T00:59:58Z")
> [@coolbyrne](#): > > And get him a bed, for God’s sake! It’s not healthy for HIM to be sharing a bed with his mother at the age of seven. Why? My mother and I shared a bed until I was that age and we have a great sex life. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/231 "2012-02-12T01:12:44Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > Why? My mother and I shared a bed until I was that age and we have a great sex life. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/232 "2012-02-12T01:49:50Z")
I can swallow a lot and am not unsympathetic to people going through rough patches, but for the love of God, get that boy a bed of his own. I cannot respect or support a person who gets their fucking car detailed while their offspring does not possess his own bed. People before things. DUH. It seems to me that CP is very busy acting out in her life: booze, pills, suicide threats, various men, daddy issues, stepmothers, money problems, STDs and a puppy. It’s a train wreck and that child (if there is a child-I’m assuming there is a child) is learning all the wrong things to do-he’s watching mommy live life in crisis mode. I disagree with those who say he is not being meticulously brought up–he is indeed. Monkey see, monkey do. In 10 years, maybe he’ll start to post here and we can then watch his train start off the tracks… Parenting is more than giving birth to a kid. This is unpardonable. Get help. And maybe Dad who pays child support should get custody. And I lost sympathy with the whole ectopic pregnancy stuff. NO doctor allows someone to go home with a possible EP. Women DIE from EP-it’s medical emergency. Next time, pick a medical condition that isn’t so well known or deadly. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/233 "2012-02-12T01:57:59Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > And I lost sympathy with the whole ectopic pregnancy stuff. NO doctor allows someone to go home with a possible EP. Women DIE from EP-it’s medical emergency. Next time, pick a medical condition that isn’t so well known or deadly. This needs to be repeated. Ectopic pregnancies kill women. There’s no way that an ectopic pregnancy can go full term, and if a medical clinic suspected an ectopic pregnancy, they’d engage in FAR more interventions than they supposedly did in **CP** ’s descriptions. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/234 "2012-02-12T02:20:48Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > How is that a lie if I started working this school year? Did you know that schools don’t run year-round? I have said on here more than once that I was desperately seeking a job for _months_. If you’re working a normal school year, you made 4/9ths of $40,000 from August through the end of December, or about $17,500. That’s enough to buy your theoretical kid a bed. > [@](#): > > Also, I’d appreciate it if people on The Board That Can’t Be Mentioned would stop plotting openly to call CPS and have my child taken away. I’ll tell you quite frankly that if I did not firmly believe that you are a liar, I would have already notified Denver Human Services with some quotes from your posts. I sincerely hope that you do not really have a child that you are raising as you describe here. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/235 "2012-02-12T02:28:41Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > This needs to be repeated. Ectopic pregnancies kill women. There’s no way that an ectopic pregnancy can go full term, and if a medical clinic suspected an ectopic pregnancy, they’d engage in FAR more interventions than they supposedly did in **CP** ’s descriptions. Yes, absolutely. I have never had an issue in the past with CP, and she’s actually said some very kind words to me, but the way she’s handling this pregnancy stuff is horrific. Either get the fucking ‘alien’ taken care of or give it up for adoption to someone who deserves it (you know, people like my husband and I, who can’t have kids on our own, yet people like this get knocked up and joke about shoving a fucking coat hangar in to their uterus). ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/236 "2012-02-12T02:35:46Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > (you know, people like my husband and I, who can’t have kids on our own, yet people like this get knocked up and joke about shoving a fucking coat hangar in to their uterus). This is shockingly self-centered. Person A’s reproductive choices and the way they choose to handle it, with or without black humour really aren’t subject to Person B’s reproductive situation. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/237 "2012-02-12T02:40:25Z")
> [@Acsenray](#): > > This is shockingly self-centered. Person A’s reproductive choices and the way they choose to handle it, with or without black humour really aren’t subject to Person B’s reproductive situation. I suppose. It’s hard to read, however. Yeah, yeah, don’t read it. Whatever. ---
**Author:** ![lisacurl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/41988e/32.png) [@lisacurl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lisacurl)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/238 "2012-02-12T02:42:14Z")
> [@Kolga](#): > > This needs to be repeated. Ectopic pregnancies kill women. There’s no way that an ectopic pregnancy can go full term, and if a medical clinic suspected an ectopic pregnancy, they’d engage in FAR more interventions than they supposedly did in **CP** ’s descriptions. Exactly. If the emergency room has any reason to suspect an ectopic pregnancy, you don’t go home. They will ultrasound every square centimeter of your abdomen if necessary. ---
**Author:** ![EmAnJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d2c977/32.png) [@EmAnJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmAnJ)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/239 "2012-02-12T02:42:46Z")
And honestly, at this point, if it was ectopic, it likely would have ruptured. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/240 "2012-02-12T03:12:15Z")
> [@EmAnJ](#): > > I suppose. It’s hard to read, however. Yeah, yeah, don’t read it. Whatever. I don’t even want a child, and it’s hard to read. So I don’t find your botherment to be self-absorbed at all. The plotholes coming to light aren’t minor ones. Like the wage discrepancies and the whole ectopic thing. And while I think it’s great that she’s sending her kid to a good school, his education shouldn’t come at the expense of having a normal home life. $24K for educating a 7-year-old is extravagant for someone who doesn’t make a lot of money. And if I’m remembering correctly, this is in addition to a scholarship. It probably is a very nice school, but dayum. It’s not worth not having a bed and a mother who’s barely functioning. And having Cheerios for lunch. I’d actually be relieved if there was an exaggeration in the story, because otherwise I’d have to join the chorus in questioning **CP’s** parenting abilities. **CP** , please follow the advice I gave you in the other thread and get help. Take a break from the internet and GO GET HELP RIGHT NOW. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=13)