# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 16
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/301 "2012-02-12T05:31:31Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > The boy is real? Very real, and my heart is breaking for him. ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/302 "2012-02-12T05:32:01Z")
Holy shit, the kid exists. That makes me really sad. Sadder than when I thought she was lying about it all and just trying to con the board. That poor kid. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/303 "2012-02-12T05:33:15Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > At age 7, you should not be visiting his school just to see him. Yeah, that also strikes me as weird. And she brought it up as though it made her a better parent than all the other kids parents. If my mom had shown up at my school during lunch I would have been _mortified_, even at that age. Kids have a pretty finely tuned sense of what’s normal and what’s not - unless this kid is special needs in some way she’s not giving him nearly enough credit. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/304 "2012-02-12T05:33:57Z")
Holy shit you really linked this user name to your real name all over the Internet? Do you ever want to get a decent paying job? Don’t you realize that employers have actually heard of google?? ---
**Author:** ![My\_Freakin\_Back\_Is\_Killing\_Me](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@My\_Freakin\_Back\_Is\_Killing\_Me](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/My_Freakin_Back_Is_Killing_Me)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/305 "2012-02-12T05:34:38Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > The boy is real? Yes. I am pretty sure he is. Searching her name basically brings up tons of info. I don’t want to compromise her, but she was warned about this throughout the thread, so I think most people have already figured it out. Anyway, unless she has some elaborate online persona she created using photos and lots of other personal info, there are pics of what appears to be her son available for viewing on the web. Poor kid ☹ ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/306 "2012-02-12T05:35:59Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > How about not leaving the house to buy food and suicide attempts? Equally accepted? Those are the real issues to me, I understand cultures are very different and all but eating cheerios for lunch, sleeping in the same bed as your parents, and parents drinking wine are not really things that will fuck up a child. A parent with severe agoraphobia and suicide attempts will fuck up a child, whether you think you are hiding it well or not. Losing a parent is about the most devastating thing that can happen to a child, especially an only parent. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/307 "2012-02-12T05:37:53Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > The boy is real? The other night when I Google-d “CitizenPained” a real name (no I’m not saying it) and a Facebook page came up with photos of a little boy. Also a LinkedIn profile. THANK GOD I just tried it again and all the pages I saw before aren’t coming up. Hopefully she’s taken THAT advice from us. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/308 "2012-02-12T05:49:13Z")
> [@My\_Freakin\_Back\_Is\_Killing\_Me](#): > > Yes. I am pretty sure he is. Searching her name basically brings up tons of info. I don’t want to compromise her, but she was warned about this throughout the thread, so I think most people have already figured it out. Anyway, unless she has some elaborate online persona she created using photos and lots of other personal info, there are pics of what appears to be her son available for viewing on the web. > > Poor kid ☹ It’s been mentioned several times that her info pops up on the first page just by using her user name. It doesn’t take the legions of Anonymous hackers to get the info. Which amazes the hell out of me. How can you care so little about your privacy? Hell, google my REAL name and I don’t show up for god knows how many pages. Put the keyboard down! Back away from the Internet! ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/309 "2012-02-12T05:52:36Z")
Just want to pop in and say that, while I still don’t know what to think, I did later come to the realization that she might have been told it was agoraphobia when it isn’t. Since that was my smoking gun, I’m back to being unsure. But I will say that her persona on the board is consistent with naively not realizing that people who get mad at you will try to find you on the Internet. And I remind you that there are several people on this board who have their real names as public information. ---
**Author:** ![AnalogSignal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/analogsignal/32/1085_2.png) [@AnalogSignal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnalogSignal)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/310 "2012-02-12T06:15:58Z")
**CP** : You’re losing them. You need less confrontation and you gotta work the puppy angle. Every loves puppies. ---
**Author:** ![Sugarpuss](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Sugarpuss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sugarpuss)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/311 "2012-02-12T06:40:35Z")
And work the low-down rotten cheatin’ gamblin’ whorin’ EXBF-FWB-BF-EXBF-EBD\* angle. Everybody hates a bad guy. \*Or low-down rotten cheatin’ gamblin’ criminal Dad. Mix and match. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/312 "2012-02-12T07:41:46Z")
Telling a woman who’s had miscarriages to grow her own baby? Low blow, **Cit** , low blow. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/313 "2012-02-12T07:49:26Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > Is that a threat? To be 100% fair, I believe that’s a veiled sarcastic reference to **CP** knowing 1) where I work and 2) that I have been a therapist in the past, as if **CP** plans to seek me out for the professional help she so apparently needs. I have posted enough oblique and not-so-oblique information in the past six years here that if someone was trying hard enough (or was obsessed enough), they probably could find my place of employment. If they gave a shit, that is. To be less than 100% fair, :rolleyes::smack: I don’t have a child. I haven’t posted about STDs. I haven’t posted about unintentional pregnancies in which I claimed to have an ectopic pregnancy that miraculously turned into a potential full-term fetus, whose ultrasound I keep as I decide what to do with my “alien.” I haven’t posted identifying information about the few students I’ve bitched about here. I no longer do clinical work, and do/did not specialize in what she claims to have, nor do/did I specialize in what she appears to have. In other words, I have FAR less to lose personally and professional by being somewhat transparent here than **CP** does, and she’s been extraordinarily stupid about her presence on the Internet in terms of linking her real name to her account here. All of that, of course, assumes that’s she’s been honest about her situation. The child? I suspect is real, given her Internet presence and information. The rest? Who knows? ---
**Author:** ![spankthecrumpet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a87d85/32.png) [@spankthecrumpet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spankthecrumpet)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/314 "2012-02-12T13:22:11Z")
I personally think that CitizenPained is pretty much being entirely honest. Maybe sloppy with details and omitting key facts. I also don’t think she is an abusive mother. I think anyone reporting her would be causing an awful lot of hassle for no reason. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/315 "2012-02-12T14:31:34Z")
This has really got to stop, _everybody_. This is starting to approach bullying, especially those who know **CP** ’s real name and are threatening to report her to child protective services- nothing good would come of that and threatening it is really cruel. If everything that she’s saying is true than honestly the larger group is behaving very badly. If it’s not real, why does everyone care so much about exposing a troll? You’re making yourself look very ugly in the process. And **Citizen Pained** please stop posting! I’m sure this is very stressful. Let it go, please. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/316 "2012-02-12T14:35:05Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > This has really got to stop, _everybody_. This is starting to approach bullying, especially those who know **CP** ’s real name and are threatening to report her to child protective services- nothing good would come of that and threatening it is really cruel. If everything that she’s saying is true than honestly the larger group is behaving very badly. If it’s not real, why does everyone care so much about exposing a troll? You’re making yourself look very ugly in the process. > > And **Citizen Pained** please stop posting! I’m sure this is very stressful. Let it go, please. You’ve been here 8 yeears and you are just finding out how feral this can be? ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/317 "2012-02-12T14:43:21Z")
i think everyone cares so much because there is a 7 year old child involved whose mother clearly has some very serious issues. i could give a crap about her, especially in light of her recent comments, but i feel for her kid. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/318 "2012-02-12T14:44:09Z")
**CP** , I haven’t gotten along with you in the past, but you don’t deserve what you are getting here. There are a few people on this board who are ghouls- it’s the same kind of people who call up the parents of suicides to mock them, or who post graphic pictures of car crashes. These sad, broken people enjoy hurting people, and especially when they can do so in real life. It makes them feel powerful. Maybe their parents didn’t love them enough or something. Another set of people are just wanna bes who think the ghouls are the cool kids and jump out with claws bared when they smell blood. You can’t defend yourself against these people. You are right that you will never satisfy them They are not interested in you, they just want to cause pain and the see a weak one in the herd to do it to. That said, most people are trying to give you real advice, and it’s unfortunately the entire conversation has been lost to the jackals. I think you are having a bad month. I bet you probably are a great mom, and these people saying differently are just trying to hit you where they know it will hurt you most. I think you are in a fragile place right now, but I think you will find your way out. I don’t think that even if they tried their damnedest, you are not going to have your kid taken away. People get their kids taken away for sexual and physical abuse, not for having a bad week. And it’s totally inappropriate for people to speculate that you can’t possibly manage your sex life and co-sleeping. People are just being assholes. Unfortunately, you are on their radars until someone new comes along. I would take a month off the SDMB and then think really seriously about posting anything personal in the next year or so. You almost certainly won’t get what you are looking for if you do so. And good luck and stay strong. You’ll get through this. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/319 "2012-02-12T14:52:31Z")
> [@Cicero](#): > > You’ve been here 8 yeears and you are just finding out how feral this can be? No, I’m just feeling sensitive today. Carry on. Just because it is feral doesn’t mean I have to like this part. It’s just gotten to the point where I’d rather say something than nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/320 "2012-02-12T15:00:44Z")
> [@Zjestika](#): > > This has really got to stop, _everybody_. This is starting to approach bullying, especially those who know **CP** ’s real name and are threatening to report her to child protective services- nothing good would come of that and threatening it is really cruel. If everything that she’s saying is true than honestly the larger group is behaving very badly. If it’s not real, why does everyone care so much about exposing a troll? You’re making yourself look very ugly in the process. > > And **Citizen Pained** please stop posting! I’m sure this is very stressful. Let it go, please. Anyone who owns a computer that has working g,o,l and e keys knows her real name. That’s the point some of us are pointing out. She puts so much information out there which is tied directly to her real name. She is obviously not stupid. So it must be deliberate. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=15) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=17)