# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/141 "2012-02-10T20:07:09Z")
> [@JBDivmstr](#): > > It’s right [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14706308#post14706308). And [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=638086&page=6) (the maybebaby saga) And finally [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=641551) ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/142 "2012-02-10T20:08:26Z")
There’s two of them. One in IMHO called “The Anxiety is Killing Me” and another in MPSIMS called “I’m so Upset I Can’t Even Think of a Proper Pit Title.” Also, I wonder about the etiquette of letting the pittee know what’s going on. I dropped her a link in her thread in MPSIMS, but since she hasn’t shown up to defend herself, maybe another one needs to be posted in IMHO. ETA: Curses! Double ninja’d!! ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/143 "2012-02-10T20:10:36Z")
n/m re: faithfool ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/144 "2012-02-10T20:19:10Z")
Wait a minute, CP. I read what you edited out and I have two things to say… One, show me where I’ve ever said anything negative about you or voiced any suspicions. I thought letting you know you’ve been pitted so that you could respond and defend yourself was not only courteous, but appropriate. That’s how it’s always been done around here. Two, you did indeed offer to send me some cash regarding my husband’s problems and I didn’t take it from you because of your situation. If you think what I posted is a “sob” story, well, that’s your right. But all I was attempting to do was what I saw as the right thing within the Doper community and how I’d want the situation handled myself. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/145 "2012-02-10T20:21:25Z")
That’s why i edited out and wrote ‘n/m’ because I realized I may have confused your posts with another’s and didn’t think. I just reacted. So that was on me. And I never thought you were begging for cash or anything. Your posts were appropriate. See? Pit threads are bad. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/146 "2012-02-10T20:43:03Z")
I’ll ask again what I asked in one of the other train wrecks, what good do you hope to accomplish by posting this stuff here? These are not your therapists or your friends. Don’t expect everyone to agree with what you say and don’t post if you don’t want to hear comments that you dislike. ---
**Author:** ![florez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b9e5f3/32.png) [@florez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/florez)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/147 "2012-02-10T20:47:04Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Finally, quit with the con artist shit. I have never received a penny from a Doper, but I’ve given it when I had it. I’m obviously a very sensitive person and maybe I shouldn’t be generous sometimes, but I have a great deal of empathy for people – especially those with families. > . 'if you prick us do we not bleed?" If you are trying to get over on us, do we not want to figure it out? Maybe it is better for you C.P. that we are all not just going along with the drama, real or imagined. It lets you more honestly know how it is coming off to others. It may assist you to find the help you need, rather then just having people (like props) there to hear your chronic complaining, trying to figure out how you want them to assist. And since you often come back to mentioning your financial problems, complete with amounts needed , it is not strange to assume that you are hinting that we should send you cash. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/148 "2012-02-10T20:53:20Z")
There’s con artists trolling for money, and there’s con artists trolling for sympathy and attention. And complaints of “I was robbed of $500 by a car dealership!” “I need X dollars for Y but don’t know how to get it!” are certainly likely to be perceived as trolling for money as well as sympathy and attention. So many of the posts **CP** makes indicate a pretty scary level of being completely unable to make rational adult decisions. Don’t have $250 for a visit to a psychiatrist? See a cheaper general practitioner. Don’t have money to pay off an old bill at a car mechanic? Don’t take a different car to that same mechanic. Can’t trust someone not to give you an STD? Don’t hang out with that person any more and don’t trust their statements of financial support. Some of these things are not rocket surgery. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/149 "2012-02-10T20:56:14Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > mm-hm. If you say so. Since I don’t think her son or her little ectopic baby or agoraphobic, prostitute-seeing, chlamydia-bearing ex, or her sassy black students (who totally consider her black) exist, it doesn’t worry me. I’ve kept up with the chlamydia/baby stuff, but there are sassy black students, too?! Linkage, please! ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/150 "2012-02-10T21:09:57Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > I’ve kept up with the chlamydia/baby stuff, but there are sassy black students, too?! Linkage, please! There are more, and this isn’t a tremendous example, but this is the one I was thinking of: > **[Weird compliments you've received.](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=639327)** > > So the other day, I’m leading our Ladies Room group (it’s like affective ed. for teenage girls) and a student says, “Yeah, this white girl…” and I say, “Hey! There’s a white girl in the room!” Without missing a beat, she says, “Oh phst, Miss, you... ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/151 "2012-02-10T21:13:43Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I don’t give conflicting info. you know, that doesn’t really suffice as a convincing response to the many holes in the numerous stories you’ve shared here. it’s certainly your right to respond/not respond as you see fit, but just saying basically “that’s not true” is not going to give you credibility. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/152 "2012-02-10T21:15:04Z")
> [@Hello\_Again](#): > > There are more, and this isn’t a tremendous example, but this is the one I was thinking of: > [Weird compliments you've received. - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=639327) I think she’s channeling _Dangerous Minds_. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/153 "2012-02-10T21:16:31Z")
i liked that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/154 "2012-02-10T21:16:50Z")
Apparently so did she. ---
**Author:** ![expectopatronum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/expectopatronum/32/173_2.png) [@expectopatronum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/expectopatronum)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/155 "2012-02-10T21:23:14Z")
it’s a guilty pleasure 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/156 "2012-02-10T21:43:15Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > I know it feels really nice to be a big internet badass, but it’s not flattering. I don’t care what you think about me, but if you are going to call me a liar, maybe you all should do your homework. I don’t give conflicting info. The date of my last period was Dec. 18. Not everyone ovulates the same. Any adult female knows that. People get an earned income tax credit for working with a child, hence a large ‘return’ (which I’ve called a nice gift, thanks government) for a person who made just under $10k. You make 10k a year? If you really are not lying about any of the things you’ve posted you need to seriously reconsider your financial habits. Private school and new cars and new phones and all the other things you’ve talked about do not go along with a 10k income. I speak from experience. So on that claim alone I am already dubious. > [@](#): > > Maybe it feels nice to make fun of people who have mental health issues. Maybe it makes you feel good to put down someone’s parenting. Maybe it’s nice to say, “I hope her kid gets taken away”. For what? What did I do to you? Really? There’s a real live person on the other end of your computer. I know there have been gratuitous pot-shots in some of these threads, but many of the comments about your parenting are not random insults, they’re reasonable concerns. If you genuinely are raising a 7 year old, you are providing a terrible role model for him and introducing him to a whole world of troubles - financial, personal, and emotional - that he shouldn’t have to worry about. He is not ‘meticulously cared for’ at all, and if he is real and you are describing the situation accurately, then he \*should \*be removed from your care. There’s no reason to pretend that isn’t true just so that you don’t hurt someone’s feelings. \*\*florez \*\*is right - if you are being honest about any or all of what you’ve told us, we wouldn’t be doing you any favours by giving you nothing but huggles and support. The responses you’ve gotten are a reflection of how you really come off to others, and you might want to pay attention to that. Of course, I still think this is all likely either bullshit or a dramatic stretching of the truth, but that’s neither here nor there. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/157 "2012-02-10T22:10:23Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > \*\*florez \*\*is right - if you are being honest about any or all of what you’ve told us, we wouldn’t be doing you any favours by giving you nothing but huggles and support. The responses you’ve gotten are a reflection of how you really come off to others, and you might want to pay attention to that. I just wanted to repost this for emphasis. Regardless of how you think you’re coming off **CitizenPained** _MANY_ people are reading you as either a complete wackaloon with no business raising a child, or a total scam artist trying to get internet wankers to pay her bills. Regardless if either of those things are true, you should at least consider that your history on here is searchable and if you put these things out there, you can’t take them back after. Seriously - perhaps a break from the computer for a while. Or play some facebook games. Or do something that doesn’t air quite so much of your personal business. YMMV, IANAL, blah, blah, blah. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/158 "2012-02-10T22:15:23Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Seriously - perhaps a break from the computer for a while. Or play some facebook games. Or do something that doesn’t air quite so much of your personal business. Particularly since a Google of your real name (say by an employer) brings up your username, and then a Google of your username brings up these threads. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/159 "2012-02-10T22:51:03Z")
I haven’t paid CP much attention since my bullshit-o-meter got pinged by her “I’m so cool because my students say I’m a black girl” :rolleyes: posts. Since then, it’s just been a vomitus of questionable posts and drama and neediness. But seriously? Girl, your real name comes up on the first page of a google search of your user name. On what planet do you think this is a good idea, professionally or otherwise? You’re a mess, and you’re spewing it all over the internet. Your posts to the Denver Post, to SD, to Facebook, Etsy, milehimama and all manner of online venues are right there for anyone to see - and it’s also easy to see the [del] lies [/del] inconsistencies you’ve spewed out. You may indeed be a tortured soul and the unluckiest person on the planet, but what benefit are you expecting by constantly yapping about it all over the interwebs? Love, regard, gift packages, money, compassion? I don’t think so. At this point you’re just coming off as a complete looney-toon, an unfit parent and an unemployable, sick, pathetic whack-job. If you need help, I hope you get it. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/160 "2012-02-10T23:28:32Z")
Meticulously caring for her son somehow includes donating $200 to charitable causes instead of buying him a bed, or paying off her debts, or seeking the mental health care she so desperately needs. She should not be in charge of children at all - and the fact that she’s both a teacher and a mother is disturbing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=9)