# Dear CitizenPained **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2012, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362 "2012-02-01T00:19:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Consensus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3be4f8/32.png) [@Consensus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Consensus)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/161 "2012-02-10T23:32:51Z")
Om my, this is not good. And I’ve looked at this from every direction possible, not good at all. Still I want you to know I wish nothing but the very best for you and the people close to you. Really, take care. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/162 "2012-02-10T23:38:45Z")
So, are these behavior and thoughts congruent with an histrionic personality? Borderline? Something else? ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/163 "2012-02-10T23:55:49Z")
BTW, just happened upon a post by CitizenPained from Sept 2011 where she mentions being on 40k and anticipating going full time in 2012 and getting a pay rise to 55k. Does anyone remember when she got cut back to her current 10k salary? I imagine someone who shares oh-so-very-much would have been sure to vent/whine to the Dope about her hours being cut so dramatically. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 10, 2012, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/164 "2012-02-10T23:58:24Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > So, are these behavior and thoughts congruent with an histrionic personality? Borderline? Something else? Incredibly distasteful of you to attempt to get other posters to join you in diagnosing a stranger’s mental problems over the internet. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/165 "2012-02-11T00:07:28Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Incredibly distasteful of you to attempt to get other posters to join you in diagnosing a stranger’s mental problems over the internet. Oh phhhttt…when a stranger spews drama and woe and angst all over the interwebz, do you really expect people to set back and accept everything the angsty one says without a shred of critical thought? Seriously, why don’t you and your son join houses with CP and her son? Marriage made in heaven, I’m telling you. You guys can be agoraphobic, victimized, dysfunctional, needy, friendless, anxious, internet-addicted, dysfunctional-parent, parents together. You can even share puppy advice. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/166 "2012-02-11T00:18:06Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Oh phhhttt…when a stranger spews drama and woe and angst all over the interwebz, do you really expect people to set back and accept everything the angsty one says without a shred of critical thought? > > Seriously, why don’t you and your son join houses with CP and her son? Marriage made in heaven, I’m telling you. You guys can be agoraphobic, victimized, dysfunctional, needy, friendless, anxious, internet-addicted, dysfunctional-parent, parents together. You can even share puppy advice. 🙂 You don’t have to accept everything she says or anything like that- but actually diagnosing a stranger’s medical conditions? That’s pretty low. Just saying. “The Straight Dope- kicking people when they’re down since 1998.” I knew I’d get turned on for saying something- you never disappoint, do you? ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/167 "2012-02-11T00:24:05Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > You don’t have to accept everything she says or anything like that- but actually diagnosing a stranger’s medical conditions? That’s pretty low. Just saying. “The Straight Dope- kicking people when they’re down since 1998.” I knew I’d get turned on for saying something- you never disappoint, do you? OK, how about, “The Straight Dope - taking at face value every word a stranger says on the internet as absolute truth, since 1973.” Does that make it easier for you? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/168 "2012-02-11T00:26:12Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > OK, how about, “The Straight Dope - taking at face value every word a stranger says on the internet as absolute truth, since 1973.” > Does that make it easier for you? There’s a big difference between taking what people say at face value, and literally diagnosing them with various mental illnesses. I don’t think the latter is appropriate, unless you’re a physician, and their physician. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/169 "2012-02-11T00:33:00Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > There’s a big difference between taking what people say at face value, and literally diagnosing them with various mental illnesses. I don’t think the latter is appropriate, unless you’re a physician, and their physician. Ooh. OK. (Where’s that genuflecting to the appropriately–named “Alice the GOON” emoticon when you need it?) I didn’t realise this was a medical diagnoses forum where only medical type perfessionals were permitted to have opinions. Silly me. I thought it was a regular people forum, where clueless idiots like me were allowed to post their opinions. And your CV is posted where, again, Ms GOON? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/170 "2012-02-11T00:36:42Z")
Wow, you’re really nasty today. Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![chiroptera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@chiroptera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chiroptera)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/171 "2012-02-11T00:40:00Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > Wow, you’re really nasty today. Yeesh. Yesh. 😃 _That’s_ the best ya got? D-. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/172 "2012-02-11T00:40:59Z")
> [@chiroptera](#): > > Yesh. 😃 > _That’s_ the best ya got? D-. I’m not really one to fight with people much, especially people that I had liked and admired. It’s a character flaw, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/173 "2012-02-11T00:49:14Z")
Lay the fuck off of **Alice.** ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/174 "2012-02-11T00:51:17Z")
I agree with **Alice the Goon**. If you think she has a PD, then it is gauche to be insulting about it. It’s not going to encourage her to get help, which is what she needs to do. I think **CP** is a troubled young woman who is incredibly lonely. The loneliness is making her desperate for attention, which is sadly just making things worse because this is not the kind of attention she needs. That doesn’t mean she’s entitled to anyone’s sympathy or that she should be immune to ridicule (lord knows there have been times when I have wanted to take the child by the shoulders and shake her). But this is just feeding it, you know? If we make her feel worse, she’s just going unload some more in another thread. Which will just add fuel to the flames here. It’s a horrible positive feed-back loop. I don’t know to stop it. I’m probably just making it worse. I don’t know how such anxiousness feels or how it feels to be broke and have another person to care for. But I do know how it feels to feel hopeless and not know what to do with it except cry on the internet. It’s a horrible feeling. **CP** have had our back-and-forths in the past, but I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/175 "2012-02-11T00:51:40Z")
> [@CitizenPained](#): > > Lay the fuck off of **Alice.** That’s okay. It’s what I get for coming in here, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/176 "2012-02-11T00:55:27Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#): > > That’s okay. It’s what I get for coming in here, anyway. I shouldn’t have, either. It doesn’t matter what we say or do. [They will carry on](http://static.seekingalpha.com/uploads/2008/8/29/saupload_tlk_hyenas.png). I do appreciate it, though. Again - it doesn’t matter if you were my next door neighbor - they’d find something. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/177 "2012-02-11T00:55:31Z")
Chiroptera, you’re kinda hitting below the belt. Alice isn’t the Pit-ee, and every time the armchair psychiatrists come out in full force there are those who come right back with the “you can’t diagnose people over the internet.” It’s not worth getting worked up over it. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/178 "2012-02-11T01:05:24Z")
> [@Meyer6](#): > > Of course, I still think this is all likely either bullshit or a dramatic stretching of the truth, but that’s neither here nor there. This gets my vote. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/179 "2012-02-11T01:07:09Z")
I honestly don’t see what **Alice** has to do with any of this. She’s going through a bad enough time as it is, is there any reason to attack her just because she had an opinion about one small facet of a discussion? Especially one that many people believe; that one shouldn’t diagnose mental illnesses over the internet. Hell, even our real doctors here don’t do that. I don’t think what she said was so controversial or outside the norm. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2012, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362/180 "2012-02-11T01:09:44Z")
Sometimes **chiroptera** can be cool, but sometimes she’s a jerk. I say let’s pit her next! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-citizenpained/611362.md?page=10)