Dear Customer, we get many customers weekly who think their situation warrents us eating $20 to $100

The BBQ Pit
21

I’m in customer service with a company that is, among other things, an ISP. Ten email addresses and email service is part of the deal. Recently a customer wanted a credit for some problems getting into email. How, precisely, are we to credit a service that’s free? Besides, somebody had already credited her ten bucks but she thought she should get more. Get a Gmail account like everybody else, you idiot.

Then we have the people who never call to tell us they’re having issues with their service but want compensation for it. No, you have to give us a chance to fix it or you won’t get a credit. If it’s not bad enough for you to set up a trouble call it’s not bothering you enough to be compensated for it. And no, we’re not going to credit you for having to take time off to be there for the tech. That’s just the way the world works, you tard. Do you demand the mechanic reimburse you for your time when you go in for a brake job? Do you insist the doctor pay you when you go in for your appointment? How about the dentist? No? Then shut up.

Also, stop calling us to complain when you’ve put in a port order to take your phone to another company. Once that’s started, you’re their responsibility and I don’t fucking care that they said it’s all our fault. You wanted to be with them, go deal with them yourself and stop yelling at us for something we have zero control over.

22

Part of the blame rests on your fellow retailers. Some of them have ridiculously generous return/discount policies.

For example, we returned some china to Crate and Barrel. During the process they asked how we liked the silverware on the same receipt. We said we didn’t care for it, but didn’t think we could return it as we used it and no longer had the packaging. Their response, “Just bring it in!”

Or Lucky, where my wife and daughters shop. They will ALWAYS give you a 20% coupon if you just ask.

Have enough experiences like that, and you might think everything is returnable and everything is discounted. As a customer I feel there is no harm in asking. But I’m very ready to accept “No” as an answer.

23

If you use your credit card for the purchase you have an avenue or recourse against those merchants when a product is defective or doesn’t live up to it’s expectations. It’s easier than fighting with the store or the company. I don’t know if ALL credit cards are like this, but many are.

24

:confused: But I thought that while the markup on equipment is 50% the markup on cables and shit (technical A/V term for what is called in the catalog “accessories”) is 75% to 95% because that’s where the profit is and you can toss him a pretty big bone and still come out ahead.

25

This all happened over 8 years ago, so I don’t know if things have changed. The Pizza Czar knew that most of the people who applied to work for him were between 16 and 26. He also knew that he depended on them to make his business work, so when he got reliable and honest employees, he valued them. I had an envelope of petty cash and when a driver got stiffed on a freebie run, I used it to tip the driver and told them that the money was coming out of the Pizza Czar’s pocket. We had a ban list for people who paid for their pizza but stiffed the driver.

The scammers were constant and often entertaining. My favorite ones were the ones who called to demand free pizzas because they were bff with the owner or his wife. I loved those calls, I’d put them on speaker and yell across the office “Hey, PC! Do you know John Doe? He said he’s your bff and you promised him free pizza for life.” Boss would yell back something like “All of my friends know that I’m trying to run a business here and won’t try to bully my employees into giving away my product.” Somehow all of those calls got dropped before I could have more fun with them.

There were also the ones who would order pizza and when the driver showed up would give him one of PC’s business cards with “good for one free order” scribbled on the back. Once in a while a new driver would fall for that one, mostly the drivers knew to laugh at them and point at my number on the card and tell the scammer to call me for authorization.

And of course, there were the people who got a bug or hair covered pizza and ate all but one slice before noticing that their food was contaminated and would call to demand free food for life lest they sue and call the media and picket us. Those calls happened almost every night. I hated it when it happened just before closing time because I needed something interesting to keep me focused. Unless they were creative in their threats and cussing, they just made me yawn.

The stores were run by young people, so it is possible that they might have made mistakes, but the pizzas went through a very hot oven and were boxed right away. The bugs would have been dead and the hair would have been charred.

None of the above were customers we wanted to keep, so I would always refer them to the competition.

Sometimes honest mistakes happened. The driver showed up with the wrong order? The customer would get that order for free and a note in the system that the next order was free. Delivery time was quoted as 20 minutes and their food didn’t show up for 2 hours? Their food was free as was their next order.

Sometimes the PC would have me run through order histories and tag the good customers to get a free pizza next time they called to order.

Good customers are valued and important.

(Dang, Penny probably hates me for this post.)

26

No matter what business it is, if it’s a small business, then the owner or spouse has a gazillion best friends, children, or other relatives, many of whom s/he doesn’t even know. Even in chains, there are a gazillion relatives who are supposed to get a freebie or discount because of the manager.

When I was working at a convenience store, I particularly loved the ones who tried to tell me that they were the owner’s child. I’d say something on the order of “you sure outgrew your diapers fast” because the owner DID have a couple of kids, but they were both toddlers.

What was always amazing was that these people seemed to think that there was nothing wrong in attempting to scam a business, and they didn’t realize or didn’t care that they could get a clerk fired.

27

The last place my husband worked at before he retired was an auto dealer that has been in business here for over 50 years. The original sibling owners all sold out to a one of their sons, so the name on the business is still (Lastname) Motors, but my husband’s manager was a shirt-tail relation (his aunt married one of the original owners, who is now retired and living part-time in Mexico), and thus had a different last name.

People would try to get a discount because “I’ve been friends with Jim Lastname for all my life!”, to which Nephew Manager would always grin and say, “You know Uncle Jim? Let’s call him!”. :smiley:

28

This +100

Seriously, I agree with those folks who think that everyone should work in retail for at least a year, just so they understand.

When I worked for the Pizza Czar, he had a waiting list of drivers who wanted to work for him. They had heard that he took care of his people and didn’t toss them under a bus when a bad customer complained.

Cheez_Whia I know that the NM loved doing that. How long did the scammers hang around while MW pulled out his phone? Did any of them try to bluff their way out of it?

29

Hub says that every time he saw it (must have been a LOT of times!) they would mumble something like, “Uh, we don’t need to bother him with this right now…”. And life and the transaction would go on as usual. :smiley: They couldn’t bluff. NM had Uncle Jim on speed dial. :cool:

30

Been shopping in America long? If so it’s surprising you don’t know what a warranty is?

31

WTF is Pizza Czar?

32

It’s where I’m going to be buying my pizzas if I ever move to Arizona.

33

Ah, pizza delivery. The only job where I have ever had my boss ask me why I didn’t punch a customer.

34

You’ll probably hate me for this, but when I buy a new guitar, I expect a free set of strings and a half dozen or so Fender mediums.

35

I’m going to go waaaaaaaay out on a limb and guess… it’s a pizza restaurant?

36

OK, that’s a problem how? The return customer asks for discount and you say, “No discount”.

Are you objecting that the customer has the temerity to ask, or that some of them get angry when you won’t comply? Because I can see anger being a problem, but I can’t see asking for a discount being a problem.

37

Yes, and I do.

If I’m sold something damaged or defective right out of the box (an unusual circumstance, sure) I can and have obtained replacements or refunds from the retail store. It’s store policy (at least in the bigger places where I shop).

Now, I can understand some retailers preferring to have the customers deal with the manufacturer instead. But that’s an excellent way to ensure unhappy customers and loss of repeat business.

38

In my best “Mom-and-Pop music store employee” imitation: “What is this ‘repeat business’ of which you speak … dude?”

39

I run a machine shop, but do a little antique refinishing so a small fraction of my buisness is retail customers coming in. Because it’s not my sole livelyhood I engraved a brass plaque that says “I reserve the right to refuse service to stupid people.” A very liberating attitude after years in my 20’s working full time retail or customer service.

About 6 months ago I found and old Grim Reaper style scythe in a junk pile. Sanded down and varnished the double bend handle, polished and sharpend the blade and hung it over the door to the shop. I refer to it as the customer service adjustment tool. I have 2 block and tackles and a hemp rope and was going to run that across the ceiling to the loose end behind my counter, but my buisness partner veto’ed that as a little toooooo much.

I was going to leave it screwed to the wall, not actually on the chain as a pivot. Really I was…

40

I love your ideas, and would like to subscribe to your newsletter!:stuck_out_tongue:

Good grief, your partner was a little too uptight there. I’d love to patronize a business where the operators weren’t afraid to speak their mind.

I buy my work clothes at a family run uniform shop. There are some small posters on the back wall, with political statements that don’t agree with my own, not at all, but the owners are great people and their politics don’t intrude into their business. I’m glad they are free to disagree with the main herd.