# Dear Diane
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 17, 1999, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308 "1999-11-17T21:15:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/21 "1999-11-18T17:49:00Z")
…aw shucks…::blushing::
…see guys, the secret with Diane is getting her to hate you while simultaneously amusing her…
…babe magnet that I am…
---
### Author:  [@Konrad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Konrad)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/22 "1999-11-19T06:14:00Z")
Don’t flatter yourself Diane. You may think you’re being very suave and sophisticated but you’re just making crude little jerk-off jokes. At least when I do that I don’t put up a any pretense.
This might come as a surprise to you, but the SDMB is not a popularity contest. You don’t win a prize if people like you.
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### Author:  [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/23 "1999-11-19T06:28:00Z")
Analysis of Konrad’s last post:
Hateful factor: 92%
Amusement factor: 6%
::sigh::
You are gonna have to do better than that Konrad!
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/24 "1999-11-19T06:30:00Z")
Of course, **you’ll** never know of that’s true or not though, Konrad.
* * *
**Dopeler effect:**
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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### Author:  [@Krispy\_Original](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Krispy_Original)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/25 "1999-11-19T06:34:00Z")
**Hijack in progress** \*
Phaedrus wrote:
> [@](#):
>
> now that I think of it is was a thread of yours, something about a co-worker who married some guy from the internet.
Since he brought it up Diane, what’s the update on their relationship?
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/26 "1999-11-19T06:35:00Z")
Krispy’O, if you evaluate this entire thread though, I think you will find the last post to be a significant improvement in the general trend.
I give it a current overall rating of
**Hate:** 97%
**Amusement:** 3%
## Of course, that’s _my_ amusement not Konrad’s.
**Dopeler effect:**
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
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### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/27 "1999-11-19T06:47:00Z")
Krispy - Oh God, I am not going to get into that old thread again. . . .
## But for a quick update and NOTHING beyond, let’s just say that she seems very depressed most days, is missing a lot of work, her daughter is now living with the grandma and things aren’t wonderful in paradise.
\>^,^\<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
---
### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/28 "1999-11-19T06:50:00Z")
Um, Konrad? Zip up…your youth is showing.
As a fairly recent addition myself (late May of this year) I don’t know what the message boards were _supposed_ to be when they first started…I just know what they are now…and it is most assuredly a “popularity contest”. Even the posters I **don’t** care for are counted as my favorites, because, while I tend to disagree with them, I’m a grown-up and “live and let live” is a fairly reasonable credo.
You don’t like the partygoers, don’t fuckin’ go to the party. How hard is that?
Oh, and Phaedrus: I am proud to be able to claim that **I** was the person who immediately spotted you for what you have successfully proven you are: a mindless, trolling twit. To say you have half a brain would be to give you a lot of undue credit. Perhaps you’d find a teen chatroom more to your liking?
* * *
“…all the prettiest girls live in Des Moines…”
–Jack Kerouac, _On the Road_
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### Author:  [@WallyM7](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WallyM7)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/29 "1999-11-18T19:11:00Z")
It’ll never work with these two.
One’s as dumb as a tree, and the other is as cute as a kitten.
I’ll leave it to the TM to figure out who’s who.
* * *
This space for rent.
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### Author:  [@CanadianSue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanadianSue)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/30 "1999-11-18T20:13:00Z")
Slow… painful… wasteful… and boring
Except for those interludes when one is overcome by its senselessness, barbarity and a general feeling of despair.
Hell that sounds just like my sex life with the ex.
* * *
I am me… accept it or not.
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### Author:  [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/31 "1999-11-18T20:25:00Z")
Diane,
Uh , nope, sorry, I can’t help you out there !
Konrad,
Well dufus, let me see if I understand this . You don’t like Diane’s style, so instead of just going on with your life and not posting to her, you write her a look at me, look at me ,I don’t like Diane thread.
Smart .
Now I suggest you go soak that hot hea of yours in some ice water, before someone chews you up, and spits you out.
Phaedrus,
Umm, last time I looked, you were already getting your ass kicked on your own thread.
Why come here to beg for more ?
Can you spell masochist ? I thought you could !
* * *
Ayesha - Lioness
* * *
There are two solutions to every problem : the wrong one, and mine
(Thomas A. Edison)
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### Author:  [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/32 "1999-11-18T20:25:00Z")
Great. I read Sue’s post, and I snort-laughed.
Way to help me impress my co-workers, Sue.
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### Author:  [@Suzeanne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suzeanne)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/33 "1999-11-18T20:40:00Z")
Come to Diane’s rescue? WHY???
Hell, honey, the woman can take care of herself. Besides, it’s more fun to watch her work.
Thanks, Phil. I ended up snorting Dr Pepper because of you.
And Diane, I have NO idea why you keep getting them, but you can have them. Not that anyone else would want 'em, yunno …
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### Author:  [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/34 "1999-11-18T23:08:00Z")
1. Why does Kon dislike Diane so?
2. Why is Contestant #3 now Crispy?
3. Several of you should be sent to your rooms until you develop better manners.
4. Don’t entitle something “Dear Diane” if you think she is boring and ridiculous.
5. See #3
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### Author:  [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)
#### Post date: [November 18, 1999, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/35 "1999-11-18T23:13:00Z")
As for question #2, he used to be flaky and all wet, but he sat under the broiler for a while and is now Krispy.
Sorry K.O. I tried to resist. 😉
-andros-
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### Author:  [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/36 "1999-11-19T01:20:00Z")
Konrad and Diane sittin’ in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G;
first comes love, then comes marriage;
then comes Konrad pushin’ a baby carriage.
* * *
Armed, dangerous…
and off my medication.
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### Author:  [@The\_Peyote\_Coyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Peyote_Coyote)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/37 "1999-11-19T01:21:00Z")
PunditLisa: This is the pit; you don’t have to have manners.
* * *
Armed, dangerous…
and off my medication.
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### Author:  [@Byzantine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Byzantine)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/38 "1999-11-19T01:28:00Z")
Diane: You’re on your own!
* * *
Best!
Byz
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### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/39 "1999-11-19T02:59:00Z")
Geeeee, thanks a lot ladies. I try to share my men and you turn you backs on me.
## Ungrateful little winches. 😉
\>^,^\<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
---
### Author:  [@Diane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diane)
#### Post date: [November 19, 1999, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-diane/3308/40 "1999-11-19T03:10:00Z")
That goes for you ungrateful little **wenches** also.
* * *
\>^,^\<
KITTEN
Please tell your pants it’s not polite to point.
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