# Dear Discovery Channel **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 4, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469 "2001-06-04T02:25:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/1 "2001-06-04T02:25:58Z")
I love your programing. Well most of it anyway. You have some real educational stuff on there. But here is a fucking news flash for you: THE LOCH NESS MONSTER IS A FUCKING MYTH!!! Plueessee don’t drag out anymore Loch frikin Ness stories. I admit I was a dumbass and watched them all. Let’s see there was… "Nessie fact or myth? (Here’s a hint MYTH!!! This one even included an interview with the husband and whife owner of Nessie lodge or some such shit. And guess what? As all their souviners for sale of nessie sat in the background they swore up and down that there was “something verrrrry unusual going on out there at least once a year.” “Loch Ness Discovered”(You really got me with that one,I was waiting to finally see Nessie’s big ass but all I saw were a bunch of dick head reprobates that should be working a regular job, riding around on a boat looking at “strange shapes” on the radar scope.) Then there was “Beneath Loch Ness” (No monster, just some ugly assed worms, old rubber boots and dead fish were dredged up.) And finally there was “The Real Loch Ness Monster” It had an interview with some drunken Scotsman admitting that a “toy nessie” was used for that tubid bit of film showing Nessie’s big hump happily swimming across the lake…er sorry loch that we have all seen a million times. So let’s you and I face fact discovery channel. Ain’t no Santa Claus ain’t no Cecil and there sure as fuck ain’t no Loch Ness Monster. Well maybe I take it back about Cecil although I have put a few rings around the old trunk since Cecil last said hello to me back in late 99 or early 2000. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/2 "2001-06-04T03:26:16Z")
**aha** my friend, here’s a suggestion, given your recent [whine about Good Morning America fans](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=72769). “Turn off the TV sir, get out and play in the sun. Be sure to use sunscreen of course but by all means, turn off that TV and get some fresh air. Either that or turn on the computer and play Solitaire for a while…” Just a suggestion, you seem to watch as much TV as I do, you poor soul. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/3 "2001-06-04T14:35:43Z")
Techie, yes since I am a school teacher when the summer months come around I do tend to watch too much TV. However I would consider playing a game of nude solitaire with you sometime. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/4 "2001-06-04T19:46:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > **Techie, yes since I am a school teacher when the summer months come around I do tend to watch too much TV.** You’re a school teacher? I find that hard to believe, considering _my_ grammar is better than yours, and I am only a HS student. [sub]I weep for the public school system.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/5 "2001-06-04T21:51:35Z")
Personally, I don’t give a shit what they show, as long as I get my weekly dose of police chases and World’s Stupidist Idiots. Or is that TLC? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/6 "2001-06-04T22:27:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by friedo \* > \*\*Personally, I don’t give a shit what they show, as long as I get my weekly dose of police chases and World’s Stupidist Idiots. > > Or is that TLC? \*\* I’m pretty sure that it’s Discovery. Discovery is slightly more highbrow than TLC, which has become Fox lite. (UFOs and the Women who Love Them) Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/7 "2001-06-04T22:40:48Z")
Oh, I don’t know- there’s something refreshing about channel-surfing and stumbling upon… aaaauuuugggghhhh! Was that open-heart surgery? A knee replacement? A hysterectomy? I’m gonna go barf now… Please, TLC, stop showing this shit! It is of no value to anyone! I want my surgeon to learn about this stuff in school, not on expanded basic cable! ---
**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/8 "2001-06-04T22:48:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > \*\*And finally there was “The Real Loch Ness Monster” It had an interview with some drunken Scotsman… > \*\* Hey!! I resemble that remark! ---
**Author:** ![Moirai](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/96bed5/32.png) [@Moirai](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moirai)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/9 "2001-06-04T22:52:37Z")
**Fletch** , we all resemble that remark… ---
**Author:** ![KP235](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@KP235](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KP235)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/10 "2001-06-04T22:58:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EJsGirl \* > \*\*Oh, I don’t know- there’s something refreshing about channel-surfing and stumbling upon… aaaauuuugggghhhh! Was that open-heart surgery? A knee replacement? A hysterectomy? I’m gonna go barf now… \*\* I hear ya! Nothing quite like channel surfing while munching on a beef enchilada with plenty-o-sauce and stumbling across close up shots of someones insides. Yum-yum! (uh, I’m not hungry anymore…) Actually, I was wondering when they are going to make The Surgery Channel a full time gig. (sorry, I probably shouldn’t have sugested that.) ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/11 "2001-06-04T23:05:42Z")
“But, mom, I’m watching TLC! I’m hardly learning!” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EJsGirl \* > \*\*Oh, I don’t know- there’s something refreshing about channel-surfing and stumbling upon… aaaauuuugggghhhh! Was that open-heart surgery? A knee replacement? A hysterectomy? I’m gonna go barf now… > > Please, TLC, stop showing this shit! It is of no value to anyone! I want my surgeon to learn about this stuff in school, not on expanded basic cable!\*\* That sounds like Discovery’s other spin-off, Discovery Health. I like the shows about rare, bizarre diseases, like the one that turns muscle into bone. As if I don’t have enough real problems to worry about, I have to “borrow trouble,” as my parents would say 😛 But it bugs me when the History Channel pulls the same kind of crap as described in the OP. I love the History Channel, especially the programs about ancient civilizations (I basted myself in the Egypt program twice this weekend and have the Britain mini-series on tape) and the 18th and 19th centuries (can’t get enough of the Founding Fathers, the old West or the Civil War), and have even sat through a show or three about WWII (how can you not? It’s the Hitler channel). But Haunted History? The History of UFO’s? Maybe if they explored the history of the _beliefs_ in ghostly or extra-terrestrial phenomena, why people perpetuate these stories and why people continue to swallow them, that would be one thing. But the other day I accidentally started to watch “Haunted History” and right off the bat some duffer was trying to explain why ghosts hang out the site of the Battle of Gettysburg. Not how the battleground is regarded with such solemnity that it _feels_ like it has a presence of its own, but how the battle was so horrible that the souls of the slain soldiers are still suffering from shell-shock (or post-traumatic stress syndrome) and are wandering around there lost to this day. _Click_ ---
**Author:** ![Gr8Kat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gr8kat/32/18668_2.png) [@Gr8Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gr8Kat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/12 "2001-06-04T23:13:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KP235 \* > Actually, I was wondering when they are going to make The Surgery Channel a full time gig. > > (sorry, I probably shouldn’t have sugested that.) As I posted above, they already have–the Discovery Health Channel. If you don’t get it, call your local cable provider today! ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/13 "2001-06-04T23:14:31Z")
FireUnderpantsBoobs espoused: > [@](#): > > I find that hard to believe considering my grammar is better than yours Oh shit it’s the grammar monitor. I do believe I have been sorta flamed. Ok then you better phrase your posts responsibly from now on because some of us will be waiting for _you_ to fuck up so we can feel grammatically superior too. Fletch: > [@](#): > > Hey!! I resemble that remark! Sorry nothing personal Fletch…here have a drink on me. ---
**Author:** ![Fletch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/919ad9/32.png) [@Fletch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fletch)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/14 "2001-06-04T23:23:54Z")
No offense was taken aha, I got a kick out of your description, it made me laugh. It reminded me of when I lived in a very small and remote village in Alaska, there wasn’t a town drunk, we all took turns. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/15 "2001-06-05T00:37:19Z")
Thanks Fletch and even though it isn’t exactly good pit material let me belatedly welcome you to the board. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/16 "2001-06-05T03:20:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aha \* > \*\*Oh shit it’s the grammar monitor. I do believe I have been sorta flamed. > > Ok then you better phrase your posts responsibly from now on because some of us will be waiting for _you_ to fuck up so we can feel grammatically superior too.\*\* I was only saying that one who has committed his/her life to _education_ should know and use proper English grammar. Do you wish to continue this argument? If not, I will let this rest. If so, then, you know what to do. ---
**Author:** ![aha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eada6e/32.png) [@aha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aha)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/17 "2001-06-05T04:46:27Z")
FUB said: > [@](#): > > I was only saying that one who has committed his/her life to education should know and use proper English grammar. Do you wish to continue this argument? If not, I will let this rest. If so, then, you know what to do. Fuckin A I know what to do. 1. Your first generalization, believe it or not I agree with. But there is one huge flaw. You chose to make your point by using a smart-assed immature insults. > [@](#): > > I weep for the public school system. Remember typing that? That was one of the insults. 1. The truth is, I posted an informal rant in an informal atmosphere in an informal forum and in doing so did not insult you or any other poster. You just decided that the way I post and type here is the same as when I conduct my professional business. In other words because I didn’t watch my “P’s and Q’s” here I must be ignorant. That I must use substandard English at my job, therefore cheating the kids in my school of a proper education. Bet you didn’t know that I am a music teacher did you? My kids are more interested in playing their instruments and using correct music notation than they are in “proper English.” Not to say that they don’t get both from me. > [@](#): > > You’re a school teacher? I find that hard to believe, See that snide remark is what I am talking about. 1. After posting another catty insult which was: > [@](#): > > considering my grammar is better than yours, and I am only a HS student. You decided that you were smarter and more educated than myself. Then insinuating that I have no business defending myself, you threw down a gauntlet by saying: > [@](#): > > Do you wish to continue this argument? If not, I will let this rest. If so, then, you know what to do. You threw the first personal insults. Do you deny that? If not, then tell me what would you do if it were the other way around and I had taken it on myself to insult you? ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/18 "2001-06-05T04:54:43Z")
aha, I don’t play Solitaire and certainly not in the nude…however a good game of Nude Minesweeper or building my perfect city in SimCity 3000 in the nude might be fun. How’s 'bout it? Oh and FUB – yeesh, could you possibly be more picky. This is the Pit not a nomination for the Pulitzer Prize. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Lexicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ac8455/32.png) [@Lexicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lexicon)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/19 "2001-06-05T04:56:45Z")
Yeah, aha. I agree with Fireboob. Yer a stupid-ass. You don’t know your subjunctive clause from your dangling participle. You jackass! ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469/20 "2001-06-05T05:08:28Z")
Fuck the Discovery channel … Hey, **Fire UnderPants** , call **aha** an asshole or something. :: preparing cooler and nacho plate next to the louge chair :: 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-discovery-channel/67469.md?page=2)