# Dear Dr. Laura-would she answer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 31, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030 "2000-05-31T19:47:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![woodja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ebca7d/32.png) [@woodja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodja)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/1 "2000-05-31T19:47:33Z")
A friend of mine sent this to me recently. I didn’t know what to make of it 'till I visited the [“Dear Dr. Laura” page](http://www.drlaura.com/), after which I thought it was a gas (I had never heard of her before). I can’t vouch for the technical accuracy, nor do I know the original source, and of course the standard [apology](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=10638) applies. Anyhoo, do you think this question would be answered? > [@](#): > > Dear Dr. Laura, > > Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God’s law. I have > learned a great deal from you, and I try to share that knowledge with as > many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, > for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to > be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, > regarding some of the specific laws and how to best follow them. > > When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing > odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the > odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? > > I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus > 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? > > I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period > of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I > have tried asking, but most women take offense. > > Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. > A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can > you clarify? > > I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly > states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? > > A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination > (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. > Can you settle this? > > Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a > defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does > my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? > > I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can > help. Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and > unchanging. In conclusion, since this post is not yet entirely to long, here’s some slightly more contemporary philosophy from those paragons of deep (or at least low) thought, Monty Python: the philosopher’s song: Immanuel Kant was a real piss-ant who was very rarely stable. Heideggar, Heideggar was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table. David Hume could out-consume Schoppenhauer and Hegel. And Whittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel. There’s nothing Nieizsche couldn’t teach 'ya 'bout the raising of the wrist. Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed. John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, after half a pint of shanty was particularly ill. Plato, they say, could stick it away, 'alf a crate of whiskey every day! Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle, And Hobbes was fond of his Dram. And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: “I drink, therefore I am.” Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed; A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed. ---
**Author:** ![cygnus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e0b2c6/32.png) [@cygnus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cygnus)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/2 "2000-05-31T20:16:28Z")
I was afraid to click on the “Ask Dr. Laura” link, but I liked the letter so much I had to send it along to someone else immediately. Thanks for sharing that one. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/3 "2000-05-31T20:53:33Z")
Do I think these questions would be answered? Probably not. Anyone who bothers actually _reading_ the Bible _in context_ rather than cherry-picking quotes that sound ridiculous on their own, isn’t genuinely looking for answers to their questions, he/she is just being a smart-ass. Just on the off-chance that those of you who are chuckling at all this cleverness actually do want to know why these Biblical verses aren’t inconsistent with modern religion, here’s some things you ought to know: > [@](#): > > When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. How should I deal with this? Check out Deuteronomy 12:5-14. Once a permanent site for offerings is designated (as was the Holy Temple in Jerusalem), sacrificing elsewhere is forbidden - even if said site is no longer in existence. Thus, Jews don’t offer animal sacrifice. > [@](#): > > I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as it suggests in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? If you look at what the Bible says in the following verses, it’s clear that the “selling” in question is not for slavery, but for marriage either to the “master” or his son. If neither want to marry her, they must free her to be her own woman. Also, regarding this and your quote > [@](#): > > Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can > you clarify? One is not _required_ by the Bible to engage in the slave trade, although it is, admittedly, permitted by the Bible. Anyone who lives in a country that does not allow the sale of slaves is obliged to follow his country’s laws. However, the context, as usual for wisecracks of this sort, is missing. Check verse 2 of the chapter, which specifically states that the laws in the chapter apply in the land of Canaan/Israel…Mexicans, indeed! > [@](#): > > I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? The Biblical death penalty can only be administered by a Biblical court. There are plenty of places in the Bible which deal with the technicalities of capital punishment. > [@](#): > > Lev. 20:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear prescription glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here? Obviously, this law only applies in the presence of the altar and sacrificial services…see above. Considering that you’re probably not a descendant of Aaron the priest, you wouldn’t be eligible to “approach the altar” in that sense even if your eyesight _was_ 20-20. > [@](#): > > I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. > > A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 10:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don’t agree. Can you settle this? Othodox Jews like Doctor Laura (and myself) actually observe those laws. You want to be sarcastic with Christians, go ahead, but it’s certainly unwarranted toward the target you’ve chosen. Now, aren’t you glad you made some honest inquiries to get a better understanding of the religion that we Bible-believers adhere to, and why we still obviously practice certain tenets of it (e.g., the prohibition on homosexuality), and less obviously others (such as the animal sacrifice stuff)? ---
**Author:** ![StrTrkr777](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@StrTrkr777](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StrTrkr777)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/4 "2000-05-31T22:08:43Z")
CMKeller, Thank you for you kind and thoughtful explanation of each of these “questions” from a Jewish perspective. Honestly I learn a lot from all such discussions. And I hope in learning about my Jewish brethren (and as Dex says Sistren) I learn more about my God and my beliefs. We are not all that different. Thanks Again, Jeffery ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/5 "2000-05-31T22:35:19Z")
CM- Do you believe in the revelation? or that the Bible was written by different men at different times? Do you believe the bible allows people to stand in judgement of others? I personally believe it is wrong to quote bible verses or tenets to condemn people. This is where the good doctor and I disagree and I believe the point of the joke post. It was not to mock the bible or those who believe in it, only to mock those who use the verses contained in it to condemn others. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/6 "2000-05-31T22:46:06Z")
Frankie: > [@](#): > > Do you believe in the revelation? I believe that the five books of Moses (Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) were dictated, word-for-word, by G-d to Moses (with the possible exception of the last 8 verses of Deuteronomy). I believe that the other books of the Bible were written by other men with some degree of divine inspiration. > [@](#): > > Do you believe the bible allows people to stand in judgement of others? Yes, if they had been duly appointed as judges. Check out Deuteronomy 16:18. Assuming you meant “allowing people to point out to others that they are not obeying the word of G-d,” I’d point you to Leviticus 19:17. > [@](#): > > It was not to mock the bible or those who believe in it, only to mock those who use the verses contained in it to condemn others. Seems to me it’s meant to mock people who use the Bible as a source for condemning homosexuality but don’t **appear** to believe in following all of the Bible. However, that appearance is, for the most part, based on erroneous assumptions, which was the point of my first post. You’re welcome to your opinions of the propriety of judging others. However, it didn’t seem to me that that was the point of the original post. Chaim Mattis Keller ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/7 "2000-05-31T23:05:01Z")
Thanks for that cite in Leviticus. Is judge not lest ye be judged (or something trust me I am no bible scholar) New Testament? it is turn the other cheek in style. Do you listen to Dr Laura and agree with her? Her style grates on me, perhaps its the way she phrases what she says or the holier than thou attitude she takes, but I think she breaks the “You can’t act like that!” rule of morality… As an aside I would like to say to **CMKeller** , I have always had a great deal of respect for you because you are so even minded and knowledgeable. And this discussion has actually made me think higher of you. Your posts have been very informative and non-escalating. Nice Job!! ---
**Author:** ![Frankie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/258eb7/32.png) [@Frankie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frankie)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/8 "2000-05-31T23:06:37Z")
Thanks for that cite in Leviticus. Is judge not lest ye be judged (or something trust me I am no bible scholar) New Testament? it is turn the other cheek in style. Do you listen to Dr Laura and agree with her? Her style grates on me, perhaps its the way she phrases what she says or the holier than thou attitude she takes, but I think she breaks the “You can’t act like that!” rule of morality… As an aside I would like to say to **CMKeller** , I have always had a great deal of respect for you because you are so even minded and knowledgeable. And this discussion has actually made me think higher of you. Your posts have been very informative and non-escalating. Nice Job!! ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2000, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/9 "2000-05-31T23:54:57Z")
> [@](#): > > Lev. 25:44 states that I may buy slaves from the nations that are around us. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans but not Canadians. Can > you clarify? One is not _required_ by the Bible to engage in the slave trade, although it is, admittedly, permitted by the Bible. Anyone who lives in a country that does not allow the sale of slaves is obliged to follow his country’s laws. However, the context, as usual for wisecracks of this sort, is missing. Check verse 2 of the chapter, which specifically states that the laws in the chapter apply in the land of Canaan/Israel…Mexicans, indeed! [/quote] In addition, with the Talmudic dictum of \* dina d’malchusa dina \* (that Jews are required to follow the law of the land), Jews could not own slaves in the United States even if they wanted to. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a88e57/32.png) [@Trout\_Mask\_Replica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trout_Mask_Replica)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2000, 2:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/10 "2000-06-01T02:19:17Z")
**Frankie:** ‘Judge not, that ye be not judged. For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.’ – Matthew 7:1-2 ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2000, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/11 "2000-06-01T07:42:48Z")
Well, despite the fact that the questions in the OP cite the Bible out of context, I still thought it was funny. As a Christian, I am constantly embarrassed by my brethren who insist that the way they understand the Bible is the _only_ way it can be understood. This leads to such things as “Christian” amusement parks and television evangelists. On the other hand, I really appreciate the serious answers to the silly questions. Thanks! ~~Baloo ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2000, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/12 "2000-06-01T15:39:14Z")
Frankie: > [@](#): > > Is judge not lest ye be judged (or something trust me I am no bible scholar) New Testament? Yes. > [@](#): > > Do you listen to Dr Laura and agree with her? I do listen to her as often as I am able. Do I agree with her? Probably about 80 % of the time. > [@](#): > > Her style grates on me, perhaps its the way she phrases what she says or the holier than thou attitude she takes, but I think she breaks the “You can’t act like that!” rule of morality… I will freely admit that if I were looking for a therapist to help me with my personal problems, I probably would not enjoy being counseled by her. However, re: her radio show, we’re not talking about private sessions with a therapist who has regular office hours and returning patients. First of all, you have to realize that anyone who calls her show is most likely already a listener and knows to expect the kind of blunt talk she generally dishes out (except that usually, they think that they’re in the right, so don’t seriously expect that they’ll be on the receiving end of the bluntness! Usually, they’re hoping for their own point of view to be vindicated by her). Second of all, a serious program of therapy would allow the therapist the time to ease the patient into an understanding of their problems. In a 3-hour radio talk show, she needs to get right to the point, which can certainly be unenjoyable at times, but again, that’s the format of the show, and they know to expect it. For what it’s worth, while she’s heavy-handed toward those she sees (often correctly) as responsible for their own problems, she’s genuinely gentle and sympathetic toward those who she sees as victims of circumstance, or those who have been abused (whether or not they might be partially enabling the abuse). And, despite all that she has said about her view of homosexuality, I have never, in all my listening to her, heard her condemn a homosexual _for engaging in a same-sex relationship_. What I _have_ heard her tell homosexual callers, on occasion, was that the need of the caller’s children to have a role model of each sex in their lives (this being essential to her view of child-raising) is more important than the caller’s own need to engage in a homosexual relationship. And thanks for the compliments. Chaim Mattis Keller ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/13 "2000-06-02T18:17:16Z")
**cmkeller** wrote: > [@](#): > > And, despite all that she has said about her view of homosexuality, I have never, in all my listening to her, heard her condemn a homosexual _for engaging in a same-sex relationship_. What I _have_ heard her tell homosexual callers, on occasion, was that the need of the caller’s children to have a role model of each sex in their lives (this being essential to her view of child-raising) is more important than the caller’s own need to engage in a homosexual relationship. I love you to death, Chaim, but give me a freakin’ break. I went to her lovely web site (“rated ‘Family-Approved’ by The Dove Foundation!”) and one of her “recommended reads” is Homosexuality and the Politics of Truth by Dr. Jeffrey Satinover. The author “examines recent research reported in medical journals (and the popular press). He find many of these studies flawed and cites evidence that homosexuality is indeed changeable.” Sounds like she’s recommending those lousy queers turn straight quick! :rolleyes: Does she give out good advice? Yeah, sometimes. But her overwhelming bigotry, heavy-handedness and moral superiority make me sick, and her homophobic comments are irresponsible television. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2000, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-dr-laura-would-she-answer/21030/14 "2000-06-02T18:43:04Z")
> [@](#): > > And, despite all that she has said about her view of homosexuality, I have never, in all my listening to her, heard her condemn a homosexual for engaging in a same-sex relationship. I have heard her tell a homosexual caller that \* being \* homosexual isn’t the sin: having homosexual intercourse is.