We hope this does not cause you any inconvenience.
Thank you,
Your local pair of Mallard Ducks
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [May 31, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/3 "2004-05-31T20:05:50Z")
Dear Mallards,
No problem. We’ve raised many ducklings before, and their noise level approaches nothing like the damn peepers. Besides, duckings are very sweet. Feel free to raise the kids here. But raise them to be frog eaters.
Love,
Elfie
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### Author:  [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/4 "2004-06-01T00:23:27Z")
Dear Elfkin,
You horrible person. You support those hungry, greedy, murderous mallard ducks and what they did to us? You support genocide (or whatever you’d call it)? Cold. You are cold.
My parents, uncles, aunts, my children! And what did we ever do to you? Just a little singing. Just…singing. Sharing our joy. And now my family is dead.
Signed,
The Last Spring Peeper
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### Author:  [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/5 "2004-06-01T01:15:45Z")
I suggest you [read this and listen to the song](http://www.planetshwoop.com/pinax/archives/000733.html) before getting too comfortable.
Quack quack! Quack quack!
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### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/6 "2004-06-01T03:50:09Z")
Dear Last Spring Peeper,
It is with great sorry and abject remorse that I send this missive. We simply never stopped to consider the untold tragedy we were inflicting upon you. We looked at you as a food source, without ever considering that you were a living, thinking, and most importantly, feeling being.
Perhaps you would like to disclose your location so a meeting can be arranged. We would be most pleased to be a part in ending what must be an unspeakable suppering…errr…suffering.
Sincerely,
Your local pair of Mallard Ducks
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### Author:  [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/7 "2004-06-01T03:59:45Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#):
>
> You support genocide (or whatever you’d call it)?
Amphibicide.
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### Author:  [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/8 "2004-06-01T04:51:36Z")
A duck’s belch does not echo. Nobody knows why.
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### Author:  [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/9 "2004-06-01T05:12:44Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#):
>
> Dear Elfkin,
>
> You horrible person. You support those hungry, greedy, murderous mallard ducks and what they did to us? You support genocide (or whatever you’d call it)? Cold. You are cold.
>
> My parents, uncles, aunts, my children! And what did we ever do to you? Just a little singing. Just…singing. Sharing our joy. And now my family is dead.
>
> Signed,
> The Last Spring Peeper
Dear LSP,
Your joy sucks.
Signed,
People Against Peepers
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### Author:  [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/10 "2004-06-01T15:17:25Z")
Aren’t you concerned about the looming explosion in the local bug population, now that the frogs have been all but eliminated?
I’d much rather hear a loud evening chorus of "ribbet"s than the high-pitch whinnging of a 'skeeter near my ear, any day.
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### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/11 "2004-06-01T15:22:27Z")
Dear Elfkin:
We can help you out with the quacking.
Weasels ‘r’ Us
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### Author:  [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/12 "2004-06-01T19:33:56Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#):
>
> Aren’t you concerned about the looming explosion in the local bug population, now that the frogs have been all but eliminated?
Not really. Two ducks couldn’t have eaten that many frogs, so I suspect that the frogs have merely fleed to the safety of the lake across the street. Or maybe matting season is just over for the year.
We _think_ these two ducks might really be ours though. We had ducks for several years and still had several ducks when we moved here, but all by the mother duck was killed by a fishercat ☹ Who knew ducks would fare better in the city?! We only lost one - stolen- in the 2.5 years we lived in Taunton MA, but lost all seven half-grown ducklings over a couple of nights during the first two months after we moved to NH again. Freakin’ fishercat got them _through_ their fencing. It was messy… :eek: Those poor things…they were half Domestic Mallard, half [Black Cayuga](http://huntingsociety.org/CayugaPr.jpg) , so they were simply gorgeous- Dad’s basic coloring with mom’s facial stripes. ::sniff, sniff:: After the massacre she was a sad lonely critter.
Ducks are not solitary animals, so my parents bought her a companion…and they both flew away a couple of days later. Two ducks end up in the wetland every spring, and they’re not afraid of us, so it’s possible it’s them. Especially since Malards can live 12 years and they were only two or three when they took off six years ago.
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### Author:  [@mrklutz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrklutz)
#### Post date: [June 1, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/13 "2004-06-01T21:33:31Z")
Ducks are so much fun.
A few years back, I lived in a townhouse in suburbia. There was a pond in the complex, complete with duck family. One hot August day I came home to find that one of the ducklings was trundling along, happy as could be, in the mist from the sprinkler hose that was stretched through the grass along the curb. Cute little fella.
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### Author:  [@Backwater\_Under\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Backwater_Under_Duck)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/14 "2004-06-02T00:24:14Z")
Ducks eat frogs?
I had no idea.
quack
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### Author:  [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)
#### Post date: [June 2, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ducks-thank-you/247864/15 "2004-06-02T02:30:46Z")
Dear Backwater Relative,
Not really.
What we actually eat is souls. Frogs just tide us over until the Day Of The Becoming.
Sincerely,
Your Local Pair of Mallard Ducks