# Dear Ex-Fat Guy on Subways Commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494 "2002-06-29T01:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![grendel72](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/91b2a8/32.png) [@grendel72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grendel72)\ **Post date:** [July 6, 2002, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/81 "2002-07-06T21:35:37Z")
Has **UncleBeer** changed his user name? ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/82 "2002-07-07T03:39:08Z")
I know I always get the wheat bread, ‘cause it’s **HEALTHY.** I could run over [Mr. Winkle](http://www.homeplatesonline.com/mrwinkle.htm) on my way home, but it wouldn’t matter. My karma would be sparklin’-fuckin’- **CLEAN** since I ate the animal fat smothered in mayo on **WHEAT BREAD.** ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2002, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/83 "2002-07-07T04:37:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\*“Angels.” \*Angels. \* Dammit. “I Married an Angle . . .” \*\* She was acute one, but always had to be right. She could really be obtuse from time to time, too. ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/84 "2015-08-19T20:51:24Z")
Eh. . . Just thought I’d bump this since the chap’s in the news again. Didn’t really notice any foreshadowing in the thread, just some people thought he was kinda creepy then. ---
**Author:** ![Ike\_Witt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ike_witt/32/283_2.png) [@Ike\_Witt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ike_Witt)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2015, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/85 "2015-08-19T21:28:36Z")
Jarhead going to prison for kiddy porn increases the odds that my prediction of a violent death for him comes true. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/86 "2015-08-20T13:50:42Z")
I just hope Jarhead doesn’t come back as a _zombie_ ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/87 "2015-08-20T14:01:18Z")
> [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](#): > > Eh. . . Just thought I’d bump this since the chap’s in the news again. Didn’t really notice any foreshadowing in the thread, just some people thought he was kinda creepy then. I just can’t believe it’s been ~13 years since those ads came out. Damn. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/88 "2015-08-20T14:01:59Z")
Nice job, **Fenris**! ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/89 "2015-08-20T14:10:41Z")
Subway’s business model is to stuff as little substance as possible between two slices of bread. Then market it to the world as a 5 dollar foot long. No wonder they choose Mr. Pedo as their spokesperson. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/90 "2015-08-20T15:44:42Z")
Just read that this fucker is worth something like 15 million :eek: All for being a sad sack former fatty. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/91 "2015-08-20T15:55:50Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nice job, **Fenris**! My prescience precedes me. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/92 "2015-08-20T16:03:34Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Just read that this fucker is worth something like 15 million :eek: All for being a sad sack former fatty. And his wife just filed for divorce. I’m sure she wants her half of it before it’s all gone in civil suits and legal fees. ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/93 "2015-08-20T16:44:01Z")
Looks like there’ll be a lot more foot-longs in Jared’s future. Tell 'em to hold the mayo, jed! ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/94 "2015-08-20T20:32:20Z")
> [@Ayatollah Yawuntz](#): > > Looks like there’ll be a lot more foot-longs in Jared’s future. Tell 'em to hold the mayo, jed! Don’t say that. There’s nothing funny about Jared from Subway bent over a laundry hamper, tears streaming down his cheeks, being savagely banged up the ass by a prisoner who’s laughing and saying “man, I can’t believe I’m fucking JARED!” ---
**Author:** ![yawuntz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a5b964/32.png) [@yawuntz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yawuntz)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/95 "2015-08-20T20:48:45Z")
You’re right, I must admit. But it _would_ be funny if he requested, say, more aioli. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/96 "2015-08-20T20:55:07Z")
> [@Ayatollah Yawuntz](#): > > You’re right, I must admit. But it _would_ be funny if he requested, say, more aioli. Or a reach-around ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2015, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/97 "2015-08-20T22:30:13Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > And his wife just filed for divorce. I’m sure she wants her half of it before it’s all gone in civil suits and legal fees. There’s only a few people on this message board with a worldview fucked up enough that they could spin this into a story about a money-grubbing woman. You’re just the man for the job. ---
**Author:** ![dalej42](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@dalej42](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dalej42)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/98 "2015-08-21T18:13:39Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > There’s only a few people on this message board with a worldview fucked up enough that they could spin this into a story about a money-grubbing woman. You’re just the man for the job. Jared got married to Katie McLaughlin in 2010 after he had become famous. I’m sure she knew what was going on. Now she’s filing for divorce on the day he accepts a plea announcement? She only believes in standing by her man when her man is a portrait of Benjamin Franklin. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/99 "2015-08-21T18:45:06Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > Jared got married to Katie McLaughlin in 2010 after he had become famous. I’m sure she knew what was going on. Now she’s filing for divorce on the day he accepts a plea announcement? She only believes in standing by her man when her man is a portrait of Benjamin Franklin. Well as long as YOU’RE sure that she knew what’s going on… ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/100 "2015-08-21T19:12:36Z")
> [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](#): > > Just read that this fucker is worth something like 15 million :eek: All for being a sad sack former fatty. This is the part that blows my mind…how much were they paying that guy?! And if you do decide to hire him as a spokesman who makes millions of dollars, wouldn’t you conduct a little background research first? The stories about being the “porn guy” in college should have been enough for them to stay away. If I had been a Subway ad exec, I might have been inspired by his story to organize some weight loss campaign based on subway sandwiches (Og help me), but I wouldn’t just anoint a local schmoe as a spokesman until I first found out all about him. I don’t want to “fat shame”, but I don’t think it’s much of a leap to speculate that someone who once ballooned to over 400 pounds has some personal issues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494.md?page=6)