# Dear Ex-Fat Guy on Subways Commercials **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 29, 2002, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494 "2002-06-29T01:21:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/101 "2015-08-21T19:16:50Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > Jared got married to Katie McLaughlin in 2010 after he had become famous. I’m sure she knew what was going on. Now she’s filing for divorce on the day he accepts a plea announcement? She only believes in standing by her man when her man is a portrait of Benjamin Franklin. You are consistent. I’ll give you credit for that. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/102 "2015-08-21T19:26:10Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Don’t say that. There’s nothing funny about Jared from Subway bent over a laundry **hamper** , tears streaming down his cheeks, being savagely banged up the ass by a prisoner who’s laughing and saying “man, I can’t believe I’m fucking JARED!” Yanno, a “hamper” really isn’t a very good name for it, is it? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/103 "2015-08-21T19:31:12Z")
> [@mhendo](#): > > There’s only a few people on this message board with a worldview fucked up enough that they could spin this into a story about a money-grubbing woman. You’re just the man for the job. Yeah, she must be a money-grubber for not wanting to stay married to a felon headed to prison for sex with minors. Shame on her. ---
**Author:** ![Tamerlane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tamerlane/32/7602_2.png) [@Tamerlane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamerlane)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/104 "2015-08-21T19:36:47Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > I’m sure she knew what was going on. Uh-huh. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/105 "2015-08-21T20:44:30Z")
I see a job opportunity for Clay Henry. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2015, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/106 "2015-08-21T20:57:40Z")
> [@dalej42](#): > > Jared got married to Katie McLaughlin in 2010 after he had become famous. I’m sure she knew what was going on. Now she’s filing for divorce on the day he accepts a plea announcement? She only believes in standing by her man when her man is a portrait of Benjamin Franklin. Considering “her man” has confessed to possessing child porn and molesting kids, can you honestly blame her? Seriously, the guy FUCKED LITTLE GIRLS. He admitted it. I hope she takes the sick bastard to the cleaners. Even if she doesn’t deserve the money, their kids certainly should get something. I’m sure they DIDN’T know what was going on. At least, I really, really hope not. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/107 "2015-08-22T03:46:07Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I don’t want to “fat shame”, but I don’t think it’s much of a leap to speculate that someone who once ballooned to over 400 pounds has some personal issues. Hey! I’d be offended, if it weren’t true. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 10:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/108 "2015-08-22T10:49:34Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > their kids […] I’m sure they DIDN’T know what was going on. At least, I really, really hope not. :eek::eek: I did not want that idea in my head. It’s bad enough already. Oh, and Dale, you do realize that, if she knew what was going on, that alone is enough, right? Surely you don’t actually think divorcing someone is worse than enabling a child rapist, right? I mean,you’re bad enough to warrant being on ignore, but surely you’re not that fucked up… ---
**Author:** ![PSXer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/48db29/32.png) [@PSXer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PSXer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/109 "2015-08-22T11:14:42Z")
I don’t know why the OP was so mad at Jared 13 years ago if Subway was offering you money to keep doing commercials even after they got old, would you decline? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2015, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/110 "2015-08-22T11:42:12Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Nice job, **Fenris**! FBI crime profilers should be talking to Fenris, trying to figure out how he knew what he knew when he knew it. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2015, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/111 "2015-08-27T00:03:42Z")
> [@Snooooopy from 13 years ago](#): > > I hope Jared at least scored with that hot chick who appeared with him in that one commercial. It was going well until he found out she was registered to vote. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/112 "2015-08-28T23:08:58Z")
Jared you fucking asshole. That’s NOT what they meant when they told you to eat fresh. Now you can eat shit. ---
**Author:** ![Fat2FitMama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7cd45c/32.png) [@Fat2FitMama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fat2FitMama)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/113 "2015-08-30T05:14:34Z")
> [@Osip](#): > > Fen, > > Is this the commercial where it ends: > > Guy: “thanks who ever you are.” > > Satan(Jared)“your welcome who ever you are” > > that it? > > I fucking hate that commercial. Kinda makes me glad I don’t watch much “regular” (aka Over the Air) TV anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2015, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/114 "2015-08-30T06:03:45Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Jared you fucking asshole. That’s NOT what they meant when they told you to eat fresh. > > Now you can eat shit. Oh thanks for that image. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2015, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494/115 "2015-09-03T02:28:28Z")
> [@yawuntz](#): > > You’re right, I must admit. But it _would_ be funny if he requested, say, more aioli. …or if they made him sing a falsetto of [“It Can Only Be Jared”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hvba_LDUC_E). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-fat-guy-on-subways-commercials/116494.md?page=5)