# Dear Ex-wife: Pls, thank your imaginary god for giving my son nightmares! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2012, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210 "2012-01-21T12:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/21 "2012-01-21T21:28:46Z")
So, have you tried exorcizing the autism-demons? That’s what Jesus would’ve done. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/22 "2012-01-21T21:45:25Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > and **polytheism is just plain silly** , but demons, of course they’re real! I’ve never understood that sort of dissonance. (bolding mine) This is all the more puzzling that the existence of other gods is not disputed in the Bible at all - in the OT, when the protagonists go and fuck up some other tribe, they don’t claim “ha ha, your god doesn’t exist !”, on the contrary they go “your punkass god ain’t got shit on \*our \*god !”. For that matter, third party gods are even implicitly acknowledged in the very first Commandment. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/23 "2012-01-21T22:03:52Z")
Tell him the demons report directly to you. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/24 "2012-01-21T22:13:30Z")
> [@](#): > > Wait, what’s this with the sharpened crucifix? My mother told me if I was ever threatened by Dracula to make the sign of the cross with my fingers. It worked. I dreamed terrorists, werewolves, cops, mobsters, the CIA and whatever were coming to get me but I never had a problem with Dracula. To me, the sign of the cross seems a better protection to teach him to use than a bible or crucifix because he can’t lose it or leave it behind, and no one can take it from him. As long as he has the use of his hands, he can make his magic protective symbol in the air and banish demons back to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/25 "2012-01-21T22:22:40Z")
You could tell him that demons are drawn to devotion because they want to kill those that truly believe in Jesus. So his best defense is to not believe in Jesus, so that the demons have no reason to hurt him. Also let him know that under no circumstances will Jesus save one of his faithful from demonic attack. Mysterious ways and shit. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/26 "2012-01-21T22:28:01Z")
> [@Cazzle](#): > > To me, the sign of the cross seems a better protection to teach him to use than a bible or crucifix because he can’t lose it or leave it behind, and no one can take it from him. As long as he has the use of his hands, he can make his magic protective symbol in the air and banish demons back to hell. Then he might become afraid to fall asleep because he won’t be able to ward off demons. I’d say giving him a passive “defense” works better. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/27 "2012-01-21T22:29:27Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > You could tell him that demons are drawn to devotion because they want to kill those that truly believe in Jesus. So his best defense is to not believe in Jesus, so that the demons have no reason to hurt him. > > Also let him know that under no circumstances will Jesus save one of his faithful from demonic attack. Mysterious ways and shit. Right, because scaring your child is okay as long as you score points in a religious war with your ex. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/28 "2012-01-21T22:35:01Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Right, because scaring your child is okay as long as you score points in a religious war with your ex. That’s much less scary than believing in according-to-Hoyle demons existing and being after you. Winning the religious war is a nice side effect. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/29 "2012-01-21T22:47:35Z")
> [@Lobohan](#): > > That’s much less scary than believing in according-to-Hoyle demons existing and being after you. > > Winning the religious war is a nice side effect. 😃 And scare some autistic kid in the process. Nice. ---
**Author:** ![Lobohan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobohan/32/79_2.png) [@Lobohan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobohan)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/30 "2012-01-21T22:50:48Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > And scare some autistic kid in the process. Nice. His mother is \*already \*scaring him. You can either contradict her, which she’ll fight, or you can deflect her and distort the nonsense she’s telling him. Also, it was a joke. Derp! ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/31 "2012-01-21T22:56:22Z")
> [@Kobal2](#): > > Authoritative sources\* suggest a cold iron (or was it solid silver ? I forget) firepoker. As a bonus, it also works on non-supernatural threats like muggers or mathematics teachers. > > - Sir T. Pratchett, in _Hogfather_ Or that a determined nine year old girl can stake her little brother out as a lure and then get up in a demon’s face with a cast-iron frying pan and a good swing. “Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” ― G.K. Chesterton ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/32 "2012-01-21T23:13:35Z")
Explain to your son that his nightmares are his subconscious trying to deal with unrecognized and unresolved anger issues. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2012, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/33 "2012-01-21T23:42:12Z")
> [@Beastly\_Rotter](#): > > “Fairy tales are more than true; not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.” > ― G.K. Chesterton This is precisely what this thread made me think of. Although, in attempting to track down the precise wording and source of the quote, I learned that the above is apparently a paraphrase by Neil Gaiman, and what Chesterton actually wrote was “Fairy tales do not give a child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.” ([cite](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/G._K._Chesterton)) ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/34 "2012-01-22T00:22:32Z")
As the father of a 17 year old autistic kid, I must ask my fellow Dopers to not - I say again NOT - bring up Bruno Bettelheim in an autism thread again. Ever. Under any circumstances. This Board is about fighting ignorance. Bettelheim was not. I hope I have said enough here. Moving on. **Shakes** , Autistic kids often have difficulty with metaphorical concepts, and with what is metaphorical and what isn’t. How does he deal with his Mom’s religion in general as a concept? As a practice? Where do his beliefs lie? You might be able to use that when you talk with him about this. I don’t know your son - this approach might not work with him. Spates of nightmares are bad, even without any other issues. I predict this will get better, but you can have a tough time until then. You’ll also need to talk with your ex about this, at a time of your choosing when you are likely to remain calm. You’ll have to remind your ex that about how hard it is for the son that you both share to separate out, um, different flavors of “real”. As in “really real” versus “really included in Mr. Moses and Mr. Joshua’s Book of Unusual Stories”. If the concept of demons is scaring him, she might find this a good time to emphasize other aspects of her faith. Like charity, good works, taking care of her own family. You know - the stuff Jesus might do, instead of scaring the fuck out of her own kid. On a related note, for your viewing pleasure: [“Seriously, I thought that was metaphorical”](http://www.eatliver.com/img/2011/7991.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/35 "2012-01-22T00:26:03Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Wait, what’s this with the sharpened crucifix? My mother told me if I was ever threatened by Dracula to make the sign of the cross with my fingers. It worked. I dreamed terrorists, werewolves, cops, mobsters, the CIA and whatever were coming to get me but I never had a problem with Dracula. More seriously, your son might try lucid dreaming: I found it reasonably effective in fighting nightmares when I was, um, 5 or 6. Of course I didn’t know the term back then. If something scary happens, ask yourself whether you are dreaming. If you are dreaming, then, well, it’s in your head. So you can fight back. For example you can fly away. It’s a dream. Now the dream will sometimes “Push back”. Don’t worry about it though, just keep flying. Or try something else. It’s a dream: you can do that. The key challenge is remembering to check whether you are dreaming or not. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/36 "2012-01-22T01:20:29Z")
So _has_ he had any nightmares from this? ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/37 "2012-01-22T01:46:12Z")
As a _Born-Again Recovering Fundie But Still a Personal Drinking Friend of Jesus_, I think your wife made the dick move first. What the hell was she thinking? Do pop back in here and give us an update. Maybe by now she’s thought about what she did, and maybe you two have discussed ways to do some damage control. Praying for your kid … … really! ps: There are some delightfully evil people here: sharpened crucifixes and “exorcizing the autism-demons” indeed! You DO know they were kidding, right? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/38 "2012-01-22T02:37:53Z")
Could you also give him a cross to wear around his neck? Perhaps that might make him feel better. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/39 "2012-01-22T02:48:15Z")
> [@Thudlow\_Boink](#): > > This is precisely what this thread made me think of. > > Although, in attempting to track down the precise wording and source of the quote, I learned that the above is apparently a paraphrase by Neil Gaiman, and what Chesterton actually wrote was > > “Fairy tales do not give a child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.” > > ([cite](http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/G._K._Chesterton)) Many thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2012, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/40 "2012-01-22T03:03:56Z")
I am not especially religious. I am a casual Episcopalian which is about as bland as it gets. We treat Christianity as a social club of values. I have seen the dark side of Christianity though in willfully ignorant people and I do not approve. The New Testament is remarkably bland and gives little to no credibly to many of the things some Christian sects hold as core mythology. I don’t think most of them ever read the Bible including the ones that proclaim themselves biblical fundamentalists. The level of ignorance is astounding given that they just have one source book to work with for their entire lives. Can you imagine someone reading the whole Harry Potter series and then giving sermons and whole plotlines based on it for characters that never existed in the original work? It is the same thing. Almost everything that is used as mythology or imagery in certain Christian denominations is from roughly a thousand years or more after Christianity was founded give or take a few hundred years. Satan doesn’t exist in the Bible at all in the way that is commonly portrayed. Angels do not either nor does hell. Likewise demons do not. If you read the source work, it is remarkable how many gratuitousness addons were made over time and many people accept them now as much as the original texts simply because several hundred years old is the same as 2000+ in most people’s minds because they have no concept of long time periods. If your son can read internet articles, let him see the following [cracked.com](http://cracked.com) article. They don’t give anything new. The basic point is a bunch of people hijacked the Christian logo, piled on a whole heaping pile of shit, and tried to make it the one true way even though it is completely false even under their own standards of biblical fundamentalism. > **[5 Things You Won't Believe Aren't In the Bible: Updated](https://www.cracked.com/article_18757_5-things-you-wont-believe-arent-in-bible.html)** > > As a predominantly Christian people, Westerners think they know the Bible pretty well. But not everybody realizes that many of the most iconic features of Christianity were never mentioned by the holy book or the church, but were actually pulled out... [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210.md?page=3)