# Dear Ex-wife: Pls, thank your imaginary god for giving my son nightmares! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 21, 2012, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210 "2012-01-21T12:03:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/61 "2012-01-23T19:17:59Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > Wait, what’s this with the sharpened crucifix? My mother told me if I was ever threatened by Dracula to make the sign of the cross with my fingers. It worked. I dreamed terrorists, werewolves, cops, mobsters, the CIA and whatever were coming to get me but I never had a problem with Dracula. That depends, are a comely young lass with big bosoms spilling out of your too tight corset? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/62 "2012-01-23T19:32:47Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I bet she would agree that drug dealers, child rapists and murderers are either demons or controlled (hurt) by demons. You’re so generous. Seems like the same Christians that go in for demonic possession, misguidance by devels, and whatnot are the same ones who’d kill the killers. In short, punish people for not being strong enough to recognize and vanquish a spritually superior opponent. Humans are so easy…they’re like a tire fire: just takes a little spark to get them going and they’ll see to their own undoing in short order. ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/63 "2012-01-23T20:20:25Z")
I don’t get it. His mom says “Demons are real”, without any corroboration. Telling him she didn’t mean it is just going to allow her a chance to repeat her BS. Why don’t you just tell him that she is incorrect? Not stupid, or a bad parent, or full of shit, or crazy (any of which may be true, but are not useful to bring up right now), but just incorrect about demons. Is there any reason why he should believe one of you over the other? Can you point to any time when she was wrong about something, however minor, and say this is an analogous situation? ---
**Author:** ![Kozmik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8dc957/32.png) [@Kozmik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kozmik)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/64 "2012-01-23T20:51:11Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > Explain to your son that his nightmares are his subconscious trying to deal with unrecognized and unresolved anger issues. Great. Now his son is going to be scared of something called his “subconscious” instead of “demons”. :rolleyes: Now the father will have to try to explain to the son that he cannot control his subconscious. More nightmares. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/65 "2012-01-23T21:52:09Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Just a little nitpick: > > **Devils** are fallen angels–as powerful as regular angels, of divine nature and “evil” only inasmuch as they don’t see eye to eye with their creator. Their beef with us is akin to vandalizing the efforts of God–it’s nothing personal against us, they just mess with us to thumb their noses at God. > > **Demons** are the spirits of giants–the offspring between devils and humans. Because their origin is not in the spiritual realm (heaven) their spirits can not enter it and are instead destined to roam the earth. Persecuted in life by humans as freaks and resource liabilities, they became embittered against us and their spirits bear true malice toward us. Absent anything better to do, they make us as miserable as possible. > > –Book of Enoch And that little [nitpick](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Enoch)also depends on which variant of Christianity you have been brought up within. Since I don’t happen to believe in them, I’ll call them what I want to =) ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/66 "2012-01-23T22:29:28Z")
Just about any hokey horror flick involving the supernatural/paranormal will have a line to the effect of: [QUOTE=first person to be eaten by monsters] "…but nobody really believes _that_ anymore. [/QUOTE] Scoff at your own peril, **aruvqan**! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2012, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/67 "2012-01-23T22:46:05Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > More seriously, your son might try lucid dreaming: I found it reasonably effective in fighting nightmares when I was, um, 5 or 6. Of course I didn’t know the term back then. > > If something scary happens, ask yourself whether you are dreaming. If you are dreaming, then, well, it’s in your head. So you can fight back. For example you can fly away. It’s a dream. Now the dream will sometimes “Push back”. Don’t worry about it though, just keep flying. Or try something else. It’s a dream: you can do that. > > The key challenge is remembering to check whether you are dreaming or not. I too was going to suggest this…this really helps in breaking recurring nightmares. Before I went to sleep every night (I was about 7 or 8), I asked myself, “If _x_ shows up in my dreams again, I will do _y_.” You will eventually get _y_ into your subconscious and your reaction to _x_ will become y to defeat it…the more you defeat it, the less frequent _x_ will show up in your dreams/nightmares. Make _y_ fun…it doesn’t have to be violent or brutal. Turn x into a football and have his favorite quarterback throw a 80 yard pass for a touchdown to his favorite receiver. Adding heroes into the dream helps as well…he won’t feel alone in the nightmare. Actually, when I think of demons, I think of the tangible stuff that people fall to…alcoholism, gambling, ex-wives that scare the crap out of kids, etc. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/68 "2012-01-24T07:33:44Z")
> [@Kozmik](#): > > Great. Now his son is going to be scared of something called his “subconscious” instead of “demons”. :rolleyes: Now the father will have to try to explain to the son that he cannot control his subconscious. More nightmares. And depending on how high functioning he is, an autistic kid might have a hard time dealing understanding that concept. Depending on his mental age, does he have some sort of security blanket, or stuffed animal? At LEAST try and convince Mom to say that he’s protected from demons by Jesus or something. I was always tought that (or, something along those lines) in Catholic school. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/69 "2012-01-24T07:52:26Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Just curious – what is your son’s “mental age”? You said he’s autistic, but how highly functioning is he? That’s a hard call: He’s in 8th grade. His math skills is around 1st or 2nd. His reading, history and social studies is around 5th or 6th grade. I’ll split the difference and say his mental acuity is that of a 9 or 10yo. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/70 "2012-01-24T08:24:06Z")
So then does he have a special stuffed animal or something like that? Or would he feel “babyish”? ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/71 "2012-01-24T09:13:06Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > So then does he have a special stuffed animal or something like that? Or would he feel “babyish”? Yep. He’s had the same critters for a good 10 years now. 🙂 FWIW, it’s been four nights with no reports of bad dreams. I’m hoping he’s growing out of this “nightmare phase”. Like I said earlier, I may have jumped the gun with my rant. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/72 "2012-01-24T13:21:28Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > Like I said earlier, I may have jumped the gun with my rant. No way, dude. It’s _always_ a good thing to gripe about the ex. ---
**Author:** ![PandaBear77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@PandaBear77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PandaBear77)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/73 "2012-01-24T21:26:38Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > This is why I got so aggravated in my phone call. She knows about the nightmares as well as I do. I can’t imagine she wouldn’t make the connection that the thought of real demons out there might give him nightmares. Just to play devil’s advocate (see what I did there?) … she may very well NOT have made the connection. Suppose _he_ was the one that asked _her._ “Hey mom … is there such a thing as demons?” She can either lie, or tell the truth. Now … as a Christian who does indeed believe demons exist, my reply would have been something along the lines of “yes, I believe they exist, but they can’t ever come near us because Jesus protects us, so it’s nothing you need to worry about.” Period, end of discussion. That’s all he needs to know; there’s no need to get into a big theological discussion with a kid that age, autistic or no. I think when it comes to the deep spiritual questions, treat 'em like ya do sex questions – give them info, if they ask for more, give them more info, if not, stop talking. This stuff is confusing enough for adults and I don’t for one minute believe God wants little kids to go around being scared to death of stuff like that. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/74 "2012-01-24T21:59:53Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > and believing that no other religion has anything to offer is also something that’s not universal in Christianity, and certainly something that’s shared by most religions. > > Look at me, defending Christianity in the Pit! WTF? I’m not saying you’re necessarily right or wrong, I don’t really have enough data points either way, but I was under the impression that most non Islam/Christian/Jewish religions valued Syncretism, “Don’t you see? Your buddhas are just aspects of these Hindu gods!” “Odin is really just Zeus.” “I don’t see any reason why there can’t be buddha and kami!” Like I said, it’s entirely possible that numerically the majority of religions really are exclusive, but I was under the impression that at least a good deal of modern religions were syncretic (with some cultures built around those religions even trying to assimilate Christianity into their religious world view and assert there is no conflict “all our gods are just angels/aspects of your god/whatever”). ---
**Author:** ![Furious\_Marmot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dfb087/32.png) [@Furious\_Marmot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Furious_Marmot)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2012, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/75 "2012-01-24T22:03:49Z")
> [@PandaBear77](#): > > Now … as a Christian who does indeed believe demons exist, my reply would have been something along the lines of “yes, I believe they exist, but they can’t ever come near us because Jesus protects us, so it’s nothing you need to worry about.” I can’t help but picture a dude with horns, etc. sitting next to you in the car, doing the “I’m not touching you!” crap that kids annoy their siblings with. Plus, Jesus driving while swinging one hand around behind him and threatening to pull over if demon guy doesn’t cut it out right now. On a more serious note, if demons can’t come near you, how do you know they are there at all? Does it normally work to tell kids that there are horrifying, soul-devouring monsters lurking just out of sight, but don’t worry, because there is an invisible, intangible force field protecting us? How’s he going to know the Jesus shield is working today, it’s not like there’s a “power on” light. And if one accepts that the only thing protecting people from demons is Christ, then how is that supposed to make a kid feel better? If all of the non-believers are in danger of demonic possession or whatever, then believers are in danger of being killed by possessed non-Christians. Jesus sure as heck doesn’t stop people from killing each other, possessed or not. This sounds like an excellent way to influence people to grow up wishing that members of their own religion were the only people in the world. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2012, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/76 "2012-01-27T05:13:45Z")
Well, you could tell your son that there’s this random guy on a messageboard that’s praying for him (that is, if you _really_ want to screw him up) … And probably shouldn’t tell him that an asst. minister thinks his mom was a douche. (Sorry, I call 'em like I didn’t see 'em) Seriously, I keep checking, hoping that he still hasn’t had any nightmares, and that kids are still more resilient than we understand. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/77 "2012-01-29T06:02:33Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > So, have you tried exorcizing the autism-demons? > > That’s what Jesus would’ve done. Seriously, if this is the flavor of Christianity that your ex believes in then you should probably straight up warn him that perhaps she and others in their “congregation” and friend set believe him to be demonically possessed or afflicted as that was the common “diagnosis” given to autistic people by the religous establishment not so very long ago, and even today. Honestly, if she believes in demons, then there is probably some transference going on and she probably believes he is demon possessed or will be dealing with hosts of demons as an autistuc person. I think it would be best to combat this problem, not by making light of it, or minimizing it, and explaining it away, but giving his analytical mind the true rational history and facts of Religion, and especially Christianity’s traditional dealings with autistic individuals via exorcism and the way that people of religion might truly see him. Give the kid a heads up rather than leaving him in the dark as to people’s true intentions which he might already have trouble discerning, considering the type of environmrent he might be growing up in with your ex. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/78 "2012-01-29T06:56:47Z")
Yes, but does his son have the mental capability of processing that? I wasn’t even autistic, and that would have given me nightmares! Kid logic isn’t the same as adult logic. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/79 "2012-01-29T08:21:21Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Yes, but does his son have the mental capability of processing that? I wasn’t even autistic, and that would have given me nightmares! > > Kid logic isn’t the same as adult logic. The “Kid” is thirteen, if he’s asking about demons then he’s old enough. He’s autistic, not an infant. Junior High logic is immature, but not stupid. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2012, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210/80 "2012-01-29T08:38:20Z")
Give him a book about the history of autism, I’m sure there has to be some coverage of the traditional historical “treatment” of autistic individuals by religion. Give him the necessary guidance reading it and ask to discuss how he feels about certain topics that it brings up. Surely he is reading and learning history in school, there is also plenty of current material out there, as exorcism and the laying on of hands is still a common enough treatment for autism… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-ex-wife-pls-thank-your-imaginary-god-for-giving-my-son-nightmares/610210.md?page=5)