# Dear Fucknugget: This is NOT A LIFESTYLE!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2002, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781 "2002-05-25T11:34:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/21 "2002-05-25T21:11:56Z")
Well… recruitmentwise there _are_ attractive parts of the gay lifestyle such as: 1: Looking totally buff and absolutely fabulous all the time 2: Able to recite the lyrics from memory of any award winning broadway musical performed in the past 20 years. 3: Home decorating skills. All built in. 4: Amazing and creative cooks. 5: Immaculate housekeepers. 6: No risk of unintentional pregnancy. 7: Can organize and host parties at the drop of a hat with no muss and no fuss. 8: No PMS tirades If women weren’t so damned curvy, soft and attractive and the thought of hot, sweaty, slippery, stubbly, stinky, painfully probing man on man sex wasn’t so well… umm… non-interesting (to a heterosexual), it might be the way to go. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/22 "2002-05-25T21:22:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > Well… recruitmentwise there _are_ attractive parts of the gay lifestyle such as: > > 1: Looking totally buff and absolutely fabulous all the time Not here. Try again. > [@](#): > > 2: Able to recite the lyrics from memory of any award winning broadway musical performed in the past 20 years. Nope. > [@](#): > > 3: Home decorating skills. All built in. Mmmm. Subjective at best. > [@](#): > > 4: Amazing and creative cooks. Well, you’ve got me there. I did have to work at it though. It isn’t like I was born making lasagna and manicotti. > [@](#): > > 5: Immaculate housekeepers. _snort_ _snork_ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA _wheeze_ HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! You are fucking funny. My house has that lived in look, thank you very much. It’s hygenic, not house beautiful. > [@](#): > > 6: No risk of unintentional pregnancy. Well, duh. > [@](#): > > 7: Can organize and host parties at the drop of a hat with no muss and no fuss. > > 8: No PMS tirades Uh-huh. Could you work a little harder at stereotyping gay people, FN? I think George is calling you for your walk(Jane’s actually having George take him to get neutered). > [@](#): > > If women weren’t so damned curvy, soft and attractive and the thought of hot, sweaty, slippery, stubbly, stinky, painfully probing man on man sex wasn’t so well… umm… non-interesting (to a heterosexual), it might be the way to go. And everywhere, gay men breathe a sigh of relief as they dodge that bullet. ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/23 "2002-05-25T21:40:23Z")
In general, the OP is correct. But through personal observation, a gay person is no more, and just as importantly, no less likely to be an asshole than a hetero person. I have been hit on by gay men. Even after telling them my orientation. I have been propositioned to receive blowjobs, with the promise that a man can do it way better than a woman. This may be true, but I don’t swing that way. I do on occasion go to “gay” bars. When hit upon I used to be honest about my orientation. This would typically get a reply “what are you doing here?” Now I just keep enjoy the company and drink all the free beers I can. They soon get the hint. I’m all for you. Live and let live. I wish more people would just accept their orientation rather than damaging others lives, such as spouses who can never fulfill them or be fulfilled. But please don’t say that there is no recruitment. To some, a straight guy is a challenge. NOw if only could get the women to do this. I should have been a rock star. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/24 "2002-05-25T21:48:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Road Rash \* > \*\*In general, the OP is correct. But through personal observation, a gay person is no more, and just as importantly, no less likely to be an asshole than a hetero person. > > I have been hit on by gay men. Even after telling them my orientation. I have been propositioned to receive blowjobs, with the promise that a man can do it way better than a woman. This may be true, but I don’t swing that way. I do on occasion go to “gay” bars. When hit upon I used to be honest about my orientation. This would typically get a reply “what are you doing here?” Now I just keep enjoy the company and drink all the free beers I can. They soon get the hint. > > I’m all for you. Live and let live. I wish more people would just accept their orientation rather than damaging others lives, such as spouses who can never fulfill them or be fulfilled. > > But please don’t say that there is no recruitment. To some, a straight guy is a challenge. NOw if only could get the women to do this. I should have been a rock star. \*\* Ok… _yes_ there are assholes who are gay. Yes, there are some gay men who won’t be respectful and will try to talk their way into a straight man’s pants. This isn’t recruitment in my opinion. I think that can be chalked up to ego and a selfish desire to impose on those who aren’t interested. I’ve had straight women who have said variants of: “Have you slept with a woman? Well then, how do you know that you wouldn’t like it?” Well, I’ve known plenty of straight men and women who are COMPLETELY secure in their sexuality and they know that they wouldn’t care to have gay sex. It isn’t different for me. I don’t think that it is recruitment in either regard. I think it is just not taking no for an answer and being a graceless idiot. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/25 "2002-05-25T22:02:36Z")
**DocCathode** , you do realize I’m straight, right? Not that it really alters your ravings, but just as a point of fact, I like the titties. A lot. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lockfist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/838e76/32.png) [@Lockfist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lockfist)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/26 "2002-05-25T22:03:09Z")
This thread reminds me of guerilla posters at Michigan State University. Pasted to the sidewalks or light posts. A female arm holding a hammer with the title **Michigan State University Alliance of Bi-Gay-Transgender _We Recruit !_**. THe posters were plasterd all over Wells Hall were the religious freaks would grandstand with a microphone. I always got a laugh out of those posters… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/27 "2002-05-25T22:03:11Z")
Hastur has responded to a few other posts, but not mine. Why? Because he can’t deny my post. As more and more gays come out of the closet, the Old Ones get ever closer to coming out of the darkness beyond the spheres and reclaiming this world. Just check out this siteSomething To Think About ``` I have a question for you, Hastur: Ia Ia Hastur Hastur cf'ayak 'vulgtmm, vugtlagln, vulgtmm Ai Ai Hastur?? ``` answer that whydoncha! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/28 "2002-05-25T22:05:11Z")
I’m tired and just don’t feel like coming through that gate, Cathode. I get a weekend off too, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/29 "2002-05-25T22:08:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Venoma \* > \*\*Or you can thank her? \*\* Will you be my new best friend?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/30 "2002-05-25T22:10:24Z")
I thought the first rule of the **Gay Agenda** was you don’t talk about the **Gay Agenda**? Besides, of course gays [recruit](http://www.credenda.org/issues/13-6childer.php). I mean, d’uh! > [@](#): > > ``` > The fact that many women's athletic departments at > secular universities are hotbeds of lesbianism is not a > coincidence. Much of what goes on in the name of wholesome > athletic activity is actually dedicated to the recruiting and > training of lesbians. Christians need to understand that it is > not possible to have a large part of our lives dedicated to the > blurring of distinctions between male and female, and then > turn around expecting those distinctions to flourish in the other > parts of our lives. We will not maintain distinctions unless we > learn how, and learning how means it must be made a priority. > > ``` 😛 Hehehehe…Recruitment and training of lesbians? So, is there like a Lesbian Boot Camp y’all have, or something? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/31 "2002-05-25T22:28:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\* > Hehehehe…Recruitment and training of lesbians? So, is there like a Lesbian Boot Camp y’all have, or something? \*\* “Higgins! You will be the diesel dyke of this squad!” “Sir! The recruiter told me I would be a lipstick lesbian. Sir!” “Well, I didn’t know that. I guess …You should head to uniform so you can be issued your flannel! Now, move!” Gay Boot camp “Where are you from recruit?” “Sir! Texas! Sir!” “Yeah? Well, only two things come out of Texas: steers and queers! Which one are…Oops. I guess that joke don’t work as well here as it did at Fort Charles.” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/32 "2002-05-25T22:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > \*\* Could you work a little harder at stereotyping gay people, FN? > \*\* Ummm… that was sort of the _point_ of the joke imbedded in the post Hastur, to make a list of desirable stereotypical gay traits/abilities, and then regret that but for the “man on man” stuff that it could be the way to go. It wasn’t meant as a serious dig at gay people and if it was construed that way I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/33 "2002-05-25T22:52:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\* > > Ummm… that was sort of the _point_ of the joke imbedded in the post Hastur, to make a list of desirable stereotypical gay traits/abilities, and then regret that but for the “man on man” stuff that it could be the way to go. It wasn’t meant as a serious dig at gay people and if it was construed that way I apologize. \*\* Not a problem. I just have a hard time hearing that even in jest after the crap like last night. Sorry if I seemed attacking. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/34 "2002-05-25T23:17:17Z")
I think I should point out that the above joke is not meant as an attack. ``` It's just that the idea of Gay/Lesbian Boot Camp has all kinds of comedic possibilities. ``` My opinion for the record-homosexuality is neither an illness or a sin. Blind hatred is both. I mean it’s not like most gay people are destroying the seals of the Elder Gods on purpose ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/35 "2002-05-26T00:25:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by astro \* > \*\*1: Looking totally buff and absolutely fabulous all the time. > > 2: Able to recite the lyrics from memory of any award winning broadway musical performed in the past 20 years. > > 3: Home decorating skills. All built in. > > 4: Amazing and creative cooks. > > 5: Immaculate housekeepers. … > > 7: Can organize and host parties at the drop of a hat with no muss and no fuss.\*\* As the late Harvey Milk said: “I wish!” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/36 "2002-05-26T00:34:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DocCathode \* > **"Higgins! You will be the diesel dyke of this squad!"** “Canadians could _give_ a shit about gays in the military, but in the States, they’re still talking about it. Look, if you want, just separate them. Separate platoons for gay men and lesbians. It’s a brilliant strategy! First you send in the lesbian platoon: ‘YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! RAPISTS! PATRIARCHY! YOU’RE GONNA DIE!’ War’s over, send in the gay men to clean up. ‘Oh my God, look at this mess!’” -Maggie Cassella “Are they afraid that if we could be out in the military we won’t follow orders? ‘Company, halt!’ ‘No. We have to dance first.’” -Marga Gomez “Now, I do agree with [Bill Clinton] about one thing, because I don’t think there should be gays in the military. I don’t think there should be straights in the military - I DON’T THINK THERE SHOULD BE A MILITARY. I think we should take all the money we spend on defence and just BUY Bosnia! Just buy it! Send three queens in to gentrify! ‘Let’s do Bosnia in a desert motif.’ It’ll look fabulous!” -Lea DeLaria “[My father] asked me, ‘Why the hell would you guys want to be in the military anyway?’ I didn’t have an answer.” -Frank deCaro ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/37 "2002-05-26T01:14:20Z")
**matt** , since **Venoma** is away doing something else and not paying attention to ME, will YOU be my new best friend?🙂 ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/38 "2002-05-26T01:20:33Z")
As per my orders from the homosexual cabal, I shall start aggressively flirting with and attempting to convert straight girls. My success rate is 80% and rising. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/39 "2002-05-26T02:02:24Z")
So…if I pretend to be straight, **andygirl** will flirt with me? Woo-hoo! I think I’ve got a strategy ;). ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/40 "2002-05-26T02:04:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\ ***matt** , since **Venoma** is away doing something else and not paying attention to ME, will YOU be my new best friend?🙂 \*\* Story of my life - they all want to be friends… ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781.md?page=3)