# Dear Fucknugget: This is NOT A LIFESTYLE!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2002, 11:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781 "2002-05-25T11:34:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/61 "2002-05-26T20:51:08Z")
[hijack] I wonder, I wonder, what would happen if I got matt, esprix and venoma in a room with me. Oh, the walls would talk so…😃 [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Venoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/c4cdca/32.png) [@Venoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Venoma)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/62 "2002-05-26T21:05:38Z")
**iampunha** , since I have bewbies I believe I would be a highly-interested observer 😉 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2002, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/63 "2002-05-26T21:25:55Z")
Well, but you also have an SO, so I submit to you that I might be a more interested observer;) Plus, with matt and esprix in the room…hooboy. Oh man. Goodlord. Excuse me. I need to take a cold lake. ---
**Author:** ![Kirkland1244](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kirkland1244](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kirkland1244)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/64 "2002-05-27T03:42:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*For some reason, I’m the only person in my entire family who’s neither a confirmed heterosexual nor an infant. It’s so bizarre when I think about it - everyone in my family who’s legal is married, except my brother, and he dates. So odd. Anyway, I’m holding out hope for my little cousins. I can’t be the only one, dammit. \*\* I know how you feel. I wonder about my paternal uncle sometimes – he was in the navy, afterall, and didn’t get married until very late in life, and it was a really screwy situation. But I dunno. I wish there was someone else in my family who was gay, it might make coming out to my parents a lot less terrifying. Kirk ---
**Author:** ![Largo62](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@Largo62](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Largo62)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2002, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/65 "2002-05-27T08:02:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ouisey \* > \*\*My lesbian aunt (everyone I’ve ever met has a lesbian aunt somewhere… \*\* Might have. I had a great aunt (my grandmother’s sister) who Grandma thought was a lesbian because she never married and had a close, lifelong female friend. Grandma decided her sister was “one of _those_ women,” and wouldn’t have anything to do with her, Grandma being “Christian” and all. As far as I am concerned, my great aunt was a fine lady. She was a teacher, and she devoted her life to making life better for kids. She was a better person than Grandma, who looked down her pious nose at her own sister, and who did nothing in her own life except support her Bible-thumping asshole of a husband. (I take that back. She and Grandpa produced my mother, the best human being ever born – except for _your_ mother, of course.) I don’t give a shit whether my aunt was a lesbian or not. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/66 "2002-05-27T20:43:07Z")
I know right where you guys are coming from, and since I cannot think of anything witty to add (one more liability of my heterosexuality, I guess :(), and more sympathy without help is not something useful at this point, I’ll just make one wisecrack on a matter tangential – have you ever noticed that in any thread referencing gayness **matt\_mcl** always has apposite pithy quotes on hand? I think we should designate him the official SD Answer to Rex Wockner! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2002, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/67 "2002-05-27T21:56:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*I know right where you guys are coming from, and since I cannot think of anything witty to add (one more liability of my heterosexuality, I guess :(), and more sympathy without help is not something useful at this point, I’ll just make one wisecrack on a matter tangential – have you ever noticed that in any thread referencing gayness **matt\_mcl** always has apposite pithy quotes on hand? I think we should designate him the official SD Answer to Rex Wockner! 🙂 \*\* 1. I’ve always considered you witty. 2. matt\_mcl is many times better than Wockner. Hes a decent reporter, but often shows too much bias, and when I was starting a reporter job and asked his advice, he was VERY NASTY to me and told me to stop wasting his time. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/68 "2002-05-28T03:41:42Z")
> [@](#): > > have you ever noticed that in any thread referencing gayness matt\_mcl always has apposite pithy quotes on hand? _bows_ ---
**Author:** ![catsix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@catsix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/catsix)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/69 "2002-05-28T14:59:26Z")
Out of all the people I’ve ever met in my life, I’ve met only one gay person who claimed to have any kind of agenda at all. This particular chick would flat out state that it was her intention to make every woman she met realize that said woman was gay. To quote her ‘All women are lesbians, the ones who haven’t met me just don’t know it.’ That particular chick was scary, not because she was gay, but because she ignored everyone else in the world’s ability to figure out what they wanted in their own lives in favor of trying to make decisions for them and tell them how to live. I knew her for 2 1/2 years, and in all of that time she never would accept the fact that I was straight. She got to the point that even her girlfriend told her she was making an ass of herself about it. Having seen that chick’s agenda, I’m absolutely certain that there is no conspiracy. Because I’ve never met another gay person like her, ever. It was her personal thing, and that’s all. If she was interested in shoving grapefruit up her nose, she would’ve tried to convince everyone else on earth to do that. That girl was wack. Her girlfriend was a really cool chick tho. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/70 "2002-05-28T23:19:59Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by **astro** _ > > 1: Looking totally buff and absolutely fabulous all the time > 2: Able to recite the lyrics from memory of any award winning broadway musical performed in the past 20 years. > 3: Home decorating skills. All built in. > 4: Amazing and creative cooks. > 5: Immaculate housekeepers. > 6: No risk of unintentional pregnancy. > 7: Can organize and host parties at the drop of a hat with no muss and no fuss. > 8: No PMS tirades I’d respond to this nonsense, but I need to get to the gym to work on my abs (all the boys adore them - and me, for that matter), and I have to stop off ahead of time to pick up the original recording (concept, not cast) of “Jekyll & Hyde” to listen to while I’m redecorating the kitchen (lovely hardwood floors this time around). Hopefully a new atmosphere is just what I need to try my new _flambe_ recipie, which I’m hoping to try out (after I clean the house spotless) at the party I’m throwing tomorrow night (nothing like last-minute, right?). Thankfully my lesbian ex-girlfriend won’t be there - she’s on the rag (and fortunately we never had sex - no worries there!). So, um… ta! ( **pun** and **matt** , I’ll pick up the 55 gallon drum of lube on my way over, 'kay?) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/71 "2002-05-29T17:43:05Z")
never having been gay, I am asking out of curiousity. I used to go to a church where the deacon said he used to be gay, butGod healed him. He’s been married for 12 years now. Is he “in the closet” fooling himself? Could it really have happened? don’t flame me, I’m not saying gays need changing(insert joke here) just wanting your take on his particular situation. ---
**Author:** ![jaytini2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7feea3/32.png) [@jaytini2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaytini2)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/72 "2002-05-29T18:30:17Z")
i wanna come to the big gay party too…i wanna be involved in the Conversion Agenda…and it should be in NoVa with me and iampunha…and no fair standing on the sidelines!!! ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/73 "2002-05-29T18:32:13Z")
> [@](#): > > never having been gay, I am asking out of curiousity. > I used to go to a church where the deacon said he used to be gay, butGod healed him. > He’s been married for 12 years now. > > Is he “in the closet” fooling himself? Yep > [@](#): > > Could it really have happened? Nope. My take on this situation is that this guy is probably thinking about Mel Gibson every time he bangs his wife. While the cuase of sexual orientation are still murky, we do know that it is set in stone very early in life and that it cannot be changed. The “ex-gay” movement is a racket, a con to convince sad, self-loathing gay people that they can change and become heterosexual, but so far, the evidence indicates that this is not the case. It would help if Fundamentalist Christianity weren’t such a joyless, repressive faith that demands its adherents distort their natural feelings and need for love to please their inhumane God. What your deacon needs is therapy to help him become a happy, self-accepting gay man instead of a sham hetero. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/74 "2002-05-29T18:40:41Z")
**gobear** - Do you think it’s possible that the gentleman in question is bisexual and has chosen not to act on his same-sex urgings? (Not that I’m arguing with the rest of your post, mind you) ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/75 "2002-05-29T18:47:18Z")
**Gobear** and **Vanilla** : I’ve been trying to dig out information on the success of “ex-gay” ministries. Gobear has this pretty accurate, but I’d hesitate to go the extreme of saying “never” and “cannot.” There are a _vast_ number of cases where people tried, with all manner of therapy, Christian or not, including shock treatments, to change from a gay orientation and failed. There are quite a few “success stories” from the ex-gay people – but it appears that the vast majority of them fall into two categories: (1) People who “are still tempted to revert to the gay lifestyle but have found the strength in Christ to resist” [please do not flame me for that passage; it’s in quotes because I’m paraphrasing, not because _I_ believe it]; and (2) bisexuals who considered themselves “gay” because they were attracted to men as well as women, who have under socio-religious pressure been able to suppress their homosexual urges while gratifying their heterosexual ones – and who rarely discuss whether they still desire men. To be totally fair, one has to say that these clowns _do_ have “successes,” if that’s what you want to call it – denying one’s sexuality strikes me as far from “a new and richer life in Christ” of the sort I’ve experienced – but that even if you classify those as successes, they average what I’d estimate from anecdotal sources as somewhere around a 10-15% success rate. That help any, **'Nilla**? **Gobear** , anything to add or cavil with? Other members of the SDMB Gay Mafia (trademark pending), would you disagree? ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/76 "2002-05-29T19:06:00Z")
I don’t think that I’d call the repression of one’s deepest needs a “success,” but I’d say **Polycarp** has it about right. I have no idea of exact figures of the “ex-gay” groups’ success rates, so I’ll buy your stats. And yes, **SisterCoyote** , even if an “ex-gay” is merely repressing his bi side, he’s still squeezing his soul into a shoe that just won’t fit. IMO, I think leading a joyless, straitened life without being able to express love and sexuality is no life at all. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/77 "2002-05-29T19:09:13Z")
Hence my statement that I wasn’t arguing with the rest of what you said. ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/78 "2002-05-29T20:14:25Z")
If I go ex-gay, does that mean I have to sell off my dresses? :eek: Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/79 "2002-05-29T20:35:09Z")
Well, you **could** go “post-gay” – or is that just “too old to care anymore” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2002, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781/80 "2002-05-29T21:59:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\*Well, you could go “post-gay” – or is that just “too old to care anymore” 😉 \*\* No, “post-gay” is “too rich and geographically lucky to care anymore.” But that’s [another](http://icq.planetout.com/pno/news/feature.html?sernum=337) [story](http://www.glweb.com/anotherthing/archive/9-1-98.html)[completely](http://dir.salon.com/news/1998/07/10news.html), and one which had its own Pit Thread before the Winter of Our Lost Content. 🙂 jayjay [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-fucknugget-this-is-not-a-lifestyle/110781.md?page=5)