# Dear gluteus maximus, your sig is too big **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 8, 2004, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204 "2004-03-08T23:37:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Papermache\_Prince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f05b48/32.png) [@Papermache\_Prince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Papermache_Prince)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/61 "2004-03-09T03:26:21Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > Mods, please close this thread. I no longer care to fight with such braindead obsessive twits. You’re the same guy who wants some sympathy in this [thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=243917)? Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/62 "2004-03-09T03:31:42Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > Mods, please close this thread. I no longer care to fight with such braindead obsessive twits. I feel strangely unsatisfied. I mean, we’ve won an argument with a moron. But all we’ve done is won an argument with a moron. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/63 "2004-03-09T03:47:18Z")
Since the current discussion is apparently over, this thread is now about a discussion of Tool’s Stinkfist until it is closed. Personally, I think it’s about anal fisting. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/64 "2004-03-09T03:53:11Z")
So…after _again_ getting piled on for an idiotic opinion, rather than respond to posters about your willful “know-nuthin’” attitude (“I don’t get it, so it _must_ be dumb”) you’ve decided to have _another_ Pit thread closed. At some point, were I a mod, I’d be bored by you taunting your betters and then running away with the “Close the thread! It’s scary!” attitude and tell you to suck it up and tough it out. Have we ever had someone with this gimmick before (opening pit threads that backfire and then running to the mods to have them closed), or has **NHIBI** discovered a new annoying trait? ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/65 "2004-03-09T03:54:13Z")
It’s definitely a metaphorical fucking, but a literal one? Could be. Hmmm. Hedonist who loves getting fucked to know he’s alive? And then he dies, and the second song is his eulogy. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/66 "2004-03-09T04:01:16Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > I do not think what you are saying is what you think it means. You’re displaying yourself as culturally illiterate. The correct response to **Ilsa Lund** ’s post was: “My hovercraft is filled with eels.” The _Princess Bride_ quote was incorrect. And as you read the posts from **Fenris** , please know that the _big words_ he is identifying for you are far more subtle than the definitions you are getting. For instance, the word “eschew” has tones and undertones that do not make it equivalant to the word “stop”. In short, the people mocking you here may not be smarter than you, but they are definitely more educated than you. Go to GD, and read awhile. You’ll not only get some education in how to use the language, you’ll get some education. Seriously, you seem semi-bright; you only need to realize that you are not going to make people seem that you are bright by whining that the things people post are over your head. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/67 "2004-03-09T04:02:59Z")
Evidently six feet is too shallow a hole for some to dig before they find themselves eye-level with daisy roots. The “this thread is scary, so I’m going away” tactic has been used by all sorts, but for the life of me, **Fenris** , I can’t remember someone doing it twice in such a short time frame and with so few (comparatively speaking, of course) posts. One wonders if this being is capable of learning. The first thread failed with spectacular colors. It was Joseph’s coat in fucking 3-D color with _fabulous_\* lighting. Eventually, you’d think, the whole schtick would just get old. The question becomes, therefor, will **NHIBI** learn before we grow tired of his one trick? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/68 "2004-03-09T04:11:05Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > Mods, please close this thread. I no longer care to fight with such braindead obsessive twits. It aint no picnic for us either. ---
**Author:** ![Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Aslan\_of\_Narnia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aslan_of_Narnia)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/69 "2004-03-09T04:19:18Z")
> [@GMRyujin](#): > > It’s definitely a metaphorical fucking, but a literal one? Could be. Hmmm. > > Hedonist who loves getting fucked to know he’s alive? > > And then he dies, and the second song is his eulogy. Hm, your theory seems sound to me. By second song you mean second verse, right? Or does this include another song? I need clarification. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/70 "2004-03-09T04:23:24Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Have we ever had someone with this gimmick before (opening pit threads that backfire and then running to the mods to have them closed), or has **NHIBI** discovered a new annoying trait? I don’t recall seeing anyone do that with such regularity. Besides, most Mods won’t close threads just because someone askes them to. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/71 "2004-03-09T05:07:38Z")
> [@Aslan of Narnia](#): > > Hm, your theory seems sound to me. By second song you mean second verse, right? Or does this include another song? I need clarification. The second song on the disc is called “Eulogy”, IIRC. **GMRyujin** , I think you’re right on the money. The anal fisting is an allegorical high for one who’s emotionally devoid. Mods, should we move this to Cafe Society? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/72 "2004-03-09T05:29:11Z")
It certainly wouldn’t be the best hijack ever, but it’d be awesome if this turned into a Tool thread. **Dante** got it, but let’s look at the rest of the song titles. The obvious ones are: Hooker with a Penis Jimmy Pushit So dude is out looking for someone to fuck his brains out, so he’ll feel “alive,” but he keeps feeling deader. As Freud would say, “It’s all about the butt.” Or it’s just Maynard’s usual pseudo-deep crap. ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/73 "2004-03-09T05:33:15Z")
GM, your sig is like an SUV - nice looking, but still too damn big. Mods, lock this thread now, plsthxbye ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/74 "2004-03-09T05:35:52Z")
Some people assume pretentiousness when they feel threatened by the thing (or person). Instead of saying, “I don’t understand Classical music,” they say, “Classical music is pretentious.” Growing up, a lot of the neighbors were _really_ bothered that my family was really into Classical music. It pissed them off. The reason, I think, was because they _assumed_ we were being pretentious—putting on airs. But we were poor and humble and it never occured to us that people might think we were putting on airs. (We had ratty old carpet and a crummy old car.) I am suspicious of the accusation of “you’re being pretentious.” It’s often code-speak for, “The thing [that interests you or that you’re talking about] is over my head and instead of just admitting that I don’t have a clue, I will accuse you of _pretending_ to know what you’re talking about. Because if _ **I** _ can’t get it, then obviously, you can’t either. Because if you get it, that means that you understand something I don’t understand, and that would be _inconceivable._ So you **must** be putting on an act. MUST BE.” That’s what I see happening here. Instead of just accepting that, wow, some people cite things he doesn’t understand, instead of believing that these people just know this stuff, no, they’re _putting on an act._ That’s the ticket. They’re making it up, they’re going to great effort to _pretend_ to know stuff just to show him up. That’s deluded. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/75 "2004-03-09T05:36:06Z")
Whenever I see a **Never Have I Because I** post, I immediately flash on that Stewart character from _Mad TV_. Is it just me here? [Stewart] “Look what I can do!” [/Stewart] ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2004, 6:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/76 "2004-03-09T06:23:20Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > My, you’re an angry fellow. > > Would any of you putzes care to show me how I’m stupid? I see little evidence to prove it. Angry? Don’t flatter yourself, kid. You are, at best, a mildly irritating annoyance, to be swatted away like a gnat. And as for proof, firstly, I offered my opinion. I feel absolutely no obligation to provide evidence, especially when it’s plastered all over your every post. Secondly, you may have noticed that every single person who has posted an opinion to this thread, excepting only yourself, agrees with me. If we can all see the “evidence,” and you can’t, what do you think that means? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/77 "2004-03-10T03:41:25Z")
> [@htns](#): > > GM, your sig is like an SUV - nice looking, but still too damn big. > > Mods, lock this thread now, plsthxbye Right, and your sig is a hell of a lot better, isn’t it? I’m not making any accusations here, but one could interpret this post to mean you are merely a sock for **NHIBI**. I’m just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/78 "2004-03-10T07:31:47Z")
> [@Never Have I Because I](#): > > Mods, please close this thread. I no longer care to fight with such braindead obsessive twits. Nope. ONCE was a mistake. But you chose to deliberately paint a big honking target on yourself again, and now you’re whining because people are taking potshots at you? You’re going to have to learn. This message board is for adults who take responsibility for their own actions. You wanted to start a shitfest and it backfired on you. Boohoo. Live and learn. Next time, maybe you won’t be QUITE so eager to start a fight. Lynn For the Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/79 "2004-03-10T07:59:04Z")
: points and laughs : ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [March 10, 2004, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204/80 "2004-03-10T08:03:52Z")
Ha ha! Bodoni, the Fist of Justice, strikes again! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-gluteus-maximus-your-sig-is-too-big/233204.md?page=5)