# Dear Homeless Person: Show respect when I give you spare change! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 21, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841 "2010-10-21T00:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/181 "2010-10-22T02:27:27Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Oh please, you only pulled that “he was asking for change!” bullshit out of your ass after people jumped on you. I doubt it happened the way you described it. I can assure you that you are wrong…but if you choose not to believe me, then you may as well stop participating in this thread, **Guin**. Naturally, I won’t bother reading the rest of your reply, since you’ve chosen to call me a liar – I have little patience for anyone who questions my credibility, no matter how respected they are on this board. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/182 "2010-10-22T02:32:35Z")
> [@statsman1982](#): > > I’m really fascinated by people like you. Why, thank you. I find myself quite fascinating, too! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/183 "2010-10-22T02:53:24Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > How is a gumball worth nothing? Good point! It’s a whole day’s healthy nutrition. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/184 "2010-10-22T03:00:01Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Sure, I could have. But why should that make any difference? To me, it makes all the difference. Were you to extend your hand, he may have reciprocated and extended his hand with his palm up, and then you could simply let go of the coin. By tossing it in his direction, you’ve de-humanized him; almost as if he were a dog and you were tossing him a table scrap. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/185 "2010-10-22T03:15:41Z")
I think you’re a dick, Pickles and I’d have tossed your quarter in the gutter too. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/186 "2010-10-22T03:28:22Z")
> [@anya\_marie](#): > > I think you’re a dick, Pickles and I’d have tossed your quarter in the gutter too. I’d have tossed it right at his ass. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/187 "2010-10-22T03:34:55Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > To me, it makes all the difference. Were you to extend your hand, he may have reciprocated and extended his hand with his palm up, and then you could simply let go of the coin. By tossing it in his direction, you’ve de-humanized him; almost as if he were a dog and you were tossing him a table scrap. I motioned to him that I was going to toss it, and he did extend his palm. Sorry, but I don’t see how you can possibly think that’s dehumanizing – in fact, I went the extra mile to get his attention first, because, at that moment, I chose to treat him like a human being. (Big mistake, I know.) Normally, I do just drop the coin and keep on walking, but even then, most of the time, the bum does mutter a “Thank you” or “God bless you” in return. (Of course, those were Valley bums, not [del]Brentwood[/del] [del]Santa Monica[/del] West L.A. bums – perhaps my version of “Valley Bumspeak” doesn’t translate so well when I go over the hill?) Frankly, I don’t care if he says a fucking word – it’s the snort, dismissive kick, and the fact that he can’t be bothered to pick up a fucking quarter that somebody was kind enough to give him, those are the problems here. And those are _his_ problems, _not_ mine, and enough people in this very thread have expressed support of my version of the truth, so I know I’m not mistaken about who’s right and who’s wrong here. Why do you insist on interpreting the situation so differently? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/188 "2010-10-22T03:35:37Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > To me, it makes all the difference. Were you to extend your hand, he may have reciprocated and extended his hand with his palm up, and then you could simply let go of the coin. By tossing it in his direction, you’ve de-humanized him; almost as if he were a dog and you were tossing him a table scrap. Perfectly described TOJL. I doubt our blessed OP will see the distinction however…to him it’s all about the money, not the 'tude. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/189 "2010-10-22T03:49:29Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > > [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > > > To me, it makes all the difference. Were you to extend your hand, he may have reciprocated and extended his hand with his palm up, and then you could simply let go of the coin. By tossing it in his direction, you’ve de-humanized him; almost as if he were a dog and you were tossing him a table scrap. > > Perfectly described TOJL. I doubt our blessed OP will see the distinction however…to him it’s all about the money, not the 'tude. Oh, I get the distinction – you guys just have it perfectly backwards. Normally, yes, I just toss the coin as if the bum were a dog, because that’s basically all these bums deserve. This time, I decided to do something different – to treat him as if he were an equal, or at least human. Like I said…BIG mistake. I know better now. If that makes me a villain in your eyes, so be it. But at least get the facts straight, first. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/190 "2010-10-22T04:05:32Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > I motioned to him that I was going to toss it, and he did extend his palm. Sorry, but I don’t see how you can possibly think that’s dehumanizing – in fact, I went the extra mile to get his attention first, because, at that moment, I chose to treat him like a human being. (Big mistake, I know.) Normally, I do just drop the coin and keep on walking, but even then, most of the time, the bum does mutter a “Thank you” or “God bless you” in return. (Of course, those were Valley bums, not [del]Brentwood[/del] [del]Santa Monica[/del] West L.A. bums – perhaps my version of “Valley Bumspeak” doesn’t translate so well when I go over the hill?) > > Frankly, I don’t care if he says a fucking word – it’s the snort, dismissive kick, and the fact that he can’t be bothered to pick up a fucking quarter that somebody was kind enough to give him, those are the problems here. And those are _his_ problems, _not_ mine, and enough people in this very thread have expressed support of my version of the truth, so I know I’m not mistaken about who’s right and who’s wrong here. > > Why do you insist on interpreting the situation so differently? Really? Getting someone’s attention qualifies as “going the extra mile”? I’m just going to go ahead and disagree with you on this point. Going the extra mile would have been placing it in his hand. I am at a loss as to how I am incorrectly interpreting your story. You say that you tossed the quarter at him; I say that the act of tossing the coin _can_ be interpreted as discourteous and yes, even dehumanizing. If you are unable to understand my very simple analogy then you are being willfully ignorant. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/191 "2010-10-22T04:18:44Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Frankly, I don’t care if he says a fucking word – it’s the snort, dismissive kick, and the fact that he can’t be bothered to pick up a fucking quarter that somebody was kind enough to give him, those are the problems here. And those are _his_ problems, _not_ mine, and enough people in this very thread have expressed support of my version of the truth, so I know I’m not mistaken about who’s right and who’s wrong here. Man, did that bum/hobo, ever get value for that 25 cents. Your panties have more knots than a boy scout jamboree. [QUOTE=The Other Jeffrey Lebowski] I will repeat the question one more time - could you have dropped the quarter in his hand rather than tossing it? [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Fear Itself] And risk accidentally touching a hobo? [/QUOTE] I think I saw the TV show _Touched by a Hobo_ once. Not very good. ---
**Author:** ![Dag\_Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@Dag\_Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dag_Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/192 "2010-10-22T05:27:03Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Now…tell me again who’s the asshole in this scenario? Because it certainly ain’t the guy who actually bothers to WORK for a living, ya know? :mad: Holy fuck, how did I miss this? You\* work\* for a living? This changes EVERYTHING. Hell, I understand there are only a handful of people in this country who work for their money. My hat is off to you sir! If you don’t mind, may I ask what it is you do for a living? Can I hazard a guess? You are a tax attorney, right? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/193 "2010-10-22T05:30:23Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > Really? Getting someone’s attention qualifies as “going the extra mile”? For a smelly homeless bum, yes. > [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > I’m just going to go ahead and disagree with you on this point. Going the extra mile would have been placing it in his hand. Maybe so, but for me, it would be way too familiar. I don’t like touching another person’s hand, period – and that applies to ALL people, not only bums! Shaking hands, especially, is a major vector for communicable disease, even if the other person appears reasonably well-dressed and has showered recently. It’s my own issue, I’m fine with it, and I’m careful to discreetly wipe my hands afterwards w/o the other person noticing, so they don’t get offended. > [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > I am at a loss as to how I am incorrectly interpreting your story. You say that you tossed the quarter at him; I say that the act of tossing the coin _can_ be interpreted as discourteous and yes, even dehumanizing. If you are unable to understand my very simple analogy then you are being willfully ignorant. It could be, if it actually happened the way you presume. Since it did not happen that way, and you refuse to believe me, we could go round and round this mulberry bush for hours and get absolutely nowhere. So yeah, let’s agree to disagree and be done with it, OK? I can live with that. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/194 "2010-10-22T05:36:19Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Is it? Is it really? For many of the “homeless” that wander about Southern California, yes it is all about choice. It’s extremely difficult to not be jaded by things like the “homeless” “disabled” “vet” who panhandles at the post office I use. The one with the brand new expensive shoes and backpack, clean newish clothes, clean recently cut hair and clean shaven - so I have trouble believing the homeless part. Since he leaves the post office at about 4 pm to walk almost two miles to a better place to pan handle the going home rush hour, and he is well spoken and never appears stoned, I don’t tend to think he is disabled either. He could be a vet, but after two strikes I wouldn’t be surprised if that one isn’t true either. Occasionally, some newspaper reporter will decide to follow one of these guys home and finds out that they own a home or at least rent, and once they get the name they somehow find out what their income is, then write a story about it. Looking at the number of “homeless” beggars we have here who are clean, well dressed and recently shaven, it is difficult to believe that they are actually all that down on their luck. And that doesn’t even get into the folks that expect the general public to pay them to be stoned their whole lives… And for those of you twits that keep going on about the lack of a thank you? Read the OP again. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/195 "2010-10-22T05:38:17Z")
> [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > If you don’t mind, may I ask what it is you do for a living? Can I hazard a guess? You may ask, sure. > [@Dag\_Otto](#): > > You are a tax attorney, right? Haha…no. Funny you guessed that, though – one of my best friends is an attorney, yet she’s the sweetest, kindest lady you could ever wish to meet. Everyone tells her she doesn’t belong in the lawyer business, and they are right! 😃 I’m a freelance copy editor. Sorry, my services are booked solid through the end of the year. It’s true what they say about being your own boss, by the way – the fringe benefits are nice, but your sole employee is the laziest bastard you could possibly imagine. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/196 "2010-10-22T05:44:24Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Oh, I get the distinction – you guys just have it perfectly backwards. > > Normally, yes, I just toss the coin as if the bum were a dog, because that’s basically all these bums deserve. This time, I decided to do something different – to treat him as if he were an equal, or at least human. Like I said…BIG mistake. I know better now. > > If that makes me a villain in your eyes, so be it. But at least get the facts straight, first. Okay, now I think you’re just trolling. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/197 "2010-10-22T08:03:10Z")
Gotta agree with you Guin. Y’know, I’ve seen trolls and shit on this board since my time began back in 2001. Most of them have been ‘one hit wonders’ who have been quickly ostracised by the membership or dispatched by the mods, never to rear their ugly mooshes again. And whilst some of them have been entertaining to one degree or another, it’s always been of benefit to the community that exists here to have them removed eventually: IOW, trolls bring down the general tone of the joint, making us as a group less cohesive and less credible as the ‘smartest folk in the universe’ (or whatever the SDMB FrontPage calls us now) 😃 But **fuzzypickles** has been here since 2003, long enough to make himself part of the Dopey-furniture. So IMHO it is **doubly** disappointing that he has chosen to make a mockery of the general goodwill that exists here for his personal entertainment. That such a longstanding member would engage in trollery as has been displayed in this thread is a real kick in the guts for those of us who have taken this place on as part of our lives for so many years, albeit virtually. YMMV and all of that, but I think his behaviour is particularly cuntish…for all sorts of reasons. And here ends my participation in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 10:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/198 "2010-10-22T10:07:02Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > I don’t like touching another person’s hand, period – and that applies to ALL people, not only bums! > [@fuzzypickles](#): > > I’m a freelance copy editor. I was convinced you were Howie Mandel, or possibly Howard Stern. Hm, the only other two people I know of with that touchy thing are both Howards. Interesting. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/199 "2010-10-22T14:50:11Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > It could be, if it actually happened the way you presume. Since it did not happen that way, and you refuse to believe me, we could go round and round this mulberry bush for hours and get absolutely nowhere. Why must you insist on being deliberately obtuse? What I have been trying to do here is offer up possible explanations of how the homeless person may have interpreted your actions; there’s a high probability that his version would be different than yours. If you look carefully at my previous comment, you may see that I italicized the word “can”, so as to emphasize that this was merely a possibility, not an absolute. I’m sorry that you feel that my interpretation is erroneous, but I can’t figure out what I am missing. How far away from him were you when you made the toss? And for the record, I agree that touching him could be a risky proposition, but it is possible to drop the quarter into his hand from a distance of 6 to 8 inches as opposed to tossing it from 4 or 5 feet away towards his hand. ---
**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/200 "2010-10-22T14:55:47Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > Okay, now I think you’re just trolling. As further justification of this, I offer into evidence the two occasions where the OP said he was done with this thread, only to keep coming back for more. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=11)