# Dear Homeless Person: Show respect when I give you spare change! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 21, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841 "2010-10-21T00:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/241 "2010-10-27T04:15:47Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Tossing a quarter to a homeless person is not something to get upset about. No it’s not. Luckily no one is upset about that. > [@Mince](#): > > I believe the consensus is that he an ass because he demands recognition and praise for helping someone, not because he _only_ gave a quarter. At least that’s my position. Help someone because you want to help someone, not because you have an expectation of reward. If they scorn your offer, for whatever reason, scurry off. No big deal. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/242 "2010-10-27T05:56:08Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Sure seems like he was expecting recompense. The guy had no obligation to accept or even appreciate the OP’s unsolicited gift. The gift wasn’t unsolicited as the OP said that the guy asked for change twice. And I didn’t read those quotes as him expecting thanks, more like he really didn’t expect it but damn if the guy didn’t take it to a whole new level by sneering at the change he’d asked for. Basically, the OP didn’t appreciate being disrespected for giving money to someone who has chosen to make his living asking for it for doing nothing to earn it. ( **Euphonious Polemic** that goes to you too.) (and **kambuckta** , just because you are an idiot doesn’t mean everyone else is.) ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/243 "2010-10-27T06:11:52Z")
Give a man a quarter and you’ll get no respect. Teach a man how to make napkin sandwiches, and he’ll eat like a king. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/244 "2010-10-27T09:24:43Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > The gift wasn’t unsolicited as the OP said that the guy asked for change twice. The OP _eventually_ said the guy asked for change, and probably only because, as **Guinastasia** said, he was getting hammered. It seems to me, as put off as the OP was, he would have conveyed this critical fact in the OP. Something like “The guy asked me for change; I gave it to him and he kicked it away because it wasn’t enough!!! WTF!?” That would have changed the entire discussion. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/245 "2010-10-27T12:48:02Z")
> [@zoid](#): > > No it’s not. > Luckily no one is upset about that. Well, except for the person I quoted. > [@Mince](#): > > The OP _eventually_ said the guy asked for change, and probably only because, as **Guinastasia** said, he was getting hammered. It seems to me, as put off as the OP was, he would have conveyed this critical fact in the OP. Something like “The guy asked me for change; I gave it to him and he kicked it away because it wasn’t enough!!! WTF!?” That would have changed the entire discussion. Eventually as in his very next post. The way the OP has conveyed the entire story is exactly like you state. Guy asks for change, gets it, kicks it away. ---
**Author:** ![Find\_Friends](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@Find\_Friends](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Find_Friends)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/246 "2010-10-27T13:23:26Z")
(nevermind) ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/247 "2010-10-27T15:19:14Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > Eventually as in his very next post. With several intervening posts hammering him. He omitted the “fact” that the guy asked for change, and inserted it in his very next post, like you say, only after someone asked him. Another poster realized the importance of that element. The OP apparently didn’t until he was prompted. [QUOTE=Barkis is Willin’] The way the OP has conveyed the entire story is exactly like you state. Guy asks for change, gets it, kicks it away. [/QUOTE] Incorrect. The way the OP conveyed the OP is nothing like that. He changed the story in a subsequent post. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/248 "2010-10-27T17:56:39Z")
**fuzzypickles** , I think I know why you are getting so much flak in this thread. You started out right off the bat stating that you demand respect. It’s right in the thread title. Most people are going to take offense at that, as you basically said “I’m a better person than that bum.” You’ve already done damage to yourself that’s going to be hard to undo. Then you continuously said demeaning and dehumanizing things about the homeless that consistently back up that impression. It doesn’t make you look terribly sympathetic, nor deserving of respect. When you say that you treated this particular guy like a human, you’re not coming from a place of credibility. I can easily imagine you thinking you did so, but in actuality coming of as completely condescending. Maybe you did, maybe you didn’t, but your credentials don’t support your story. Add to that the fact that you tossed the quarter at the guy instead of handing it to him, and it really comes off as throwing a bone to a dog. It’s not hard for me to imagine, so maybe it was not hard for the homeless guy to think of it that way as well. It sounds to me like you were trying to buy the guy’s last shred of dignity – for a measly quarter – and he was having none of it. ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/249 "2010-10-27T18:05:18Z")
I find reading **fuzzypickle** ’s posts in a Cartman “Respect my Authoritay!” voice livens this thread up significantly. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/250 "2010-10-27T19:31:13Z")
Here’s my homeless story. Last Friday I went to Subway for lunch. I didn’t notice him on the way in, but when I came out there was a homeless guy sitting on the front steps. Probably mid-30s, African-American guy in dirty jeans and a sweatshirt. I walked right past him and would not have even noticed him if he hadn’t said “Excuse me, sir, can I have some money to buy some food?” Now, I almost never give money to beggars, usually telling myself that they’d only spend it on booze or drugs, or that it’s probably a scam. So I stammered something about not having any cash (a lie) and got in my car. Then I thought – wait a second, this is a fucking _Subway_. I don’t have to give him money. So I got out and said “If you come inside with me, I’ll buy you a sandwich.” He said, “Can I have a taco?” and pointed out a Mexican place down the street. I said no, I’m not going anywhere with you, but I’ll buy you a sandwich if you’re hungry. So we went in and got in line. He kept walking up to the counter (cutting in front of people) to look at the menu, and talking to people who weren’t there, but I kept him in line as best I could and when it was our turn he asked for a buffalo chicken sandwich and then walked over to the chips. He came back and asked me if he could have chips and a drink. So I got him a 6" chicken sub (with cheese, lettuce and jalepenos), potato chips and a coke and left him sitting happily in a booth talking to the invisible person across from him. He thanked me and waved goodbye. Best $5 I’ve spent in a long time. ---
**Author:** ![Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a183cd/32.png) [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/251 "2010-10-27T20:55:09Z")
I thought it was going to end with the guy kicking the sandwich into the gutter. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/252 "2010-10-27T21:25:56Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Here’s my homeless story. > > Last Friday I went to Subway for lunch. I didn’t notice him on the way in, but when I came out there was a homeless guy sitting on the front steps. Probably mid-30s, African-American guy in dirty jeans and a sweatshirt. I walked right past him and would not have even noticed him if he hadn’t said “Excuse me, sir, can I have some money to buy some food?” > > Now, I almost never give money to beggars, usually telling myself that they’d only spend it on booze or drugs, or that it’s probably a scam. So I stammered something about not having any cash (a lie) and got in my car. > > Then I thought – wait a second, this is a fucking _Subway_. I don’t have to give him money. So I got out and said “If you come inside with me, I’ll buy you a sandwich.” > > He said, “Can I have a taco?” and pointed out a Mexican place down the street. I said no, I’m not going anywhere with you, but I’ll buy you a sandwich if you’re hungry. So we went in and got in line. He kept walking up to the counter (cutting in front of people) to look at the menu, and talking to people who weren’t there, but I kept him in line as best I could and when it was our turn he asked for a buffalo chicken sandwich and then walked over to the chips. He came back and asked me if he could have chips and a drink. So I got him a 6" chicken sub (with cheese, lettuce and jalepenos), potato chips and a coke and left him sitting happily in a booth talking to the invisible person across from him. He thanked me and waved goodbye. > > Best $5 I’ve spent in a long time. I’m surprised he scorn you for buying him only a 6" sub. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/253 "2010-10-27T21:51:45Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > I’m surprised he scorn you for buying him only a 6" sub. I’m not made of money! Or buffalo chicken! Unless you are what you eat, in which case I’m in good part made of buffalo chicken. But not money. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/254 "2010-10-27T23:18:39Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Here’s my homeless story. > > Last Friday I went to Subway for lunch. I didn’t notice him on the way in, but when I came out there was a homeless guy sitting on the front steps. Probably mid-30s, African-American guy in dirty jeans and a sweatshirt. I walked right past him and would not have even noticed him if he hadn’t said “Excuse me, sir, can I have some money to buy some food?” > > Now, I almost never give money to beggars, usually telling myself that they’d only spend it on booze or drugs, or that it’s probably a scam. So I stammered something about not having any cash (a lie) and got in my car. > > Then I thought – wait a second, this is a fucking _Subway_. I don’t have to give him money. So I got out and said “If you come inside with me, I’ll buy you a sandwich.” > > He said, “Can I have a taco?” and pointed out a Mexican place down the street. I said no, I’m not going anywhere with you, but I’ll buy you a sandwich if you’re hungry. So we went in and got in line. He kept walking up to the counter (cutting in front of people) to look at the menu, and talking to people who weren’t there, but I kept him in line as best I could and when it was our turn he asked for a buffalo chicken sandwich and then walked over to the chips. He came back and asked me if he could have chips and a drink. So I got him a 6" chicken sub (with cheese, lettuce and jalepenos), potato chips and a coke and left him sitting happily in a booth talking to the invisible person across from him. He thanked me and waved goodbye. > > Best $5 I’ve spent in a long time. You’ll go to any lengths to avoid touching a homeless person’s hand, won’t you? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/255 "2010-10-28T01:02:58Z")
> [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](#): > > I thought it was going to end with the guy kicking the sandwich into the gutter. You know I skipped from the first page to this one, and after reading the quoted story below by Skammer, thats pretty funny. Regarding the OP: Jeez, dude, a quarter? I HATE giving money away to beggars, mostly because I don’t have a lot of it…but if a down on his luck guy helped me out like in your story i’d at least give him a buck or 2. Seriously, you couldn’t spare a dollar? ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/256 "2010-10-28T01:06:02Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > Unless you are what you eat, in which case I’m in good part made of buffalo chicken. But not money. I swallowed a nickel when I was 6. That means I’m \*partially \*made of money. And beer. ---
**Author:** ![Jolly\_Roger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/91b2a8/32.png) [@Jolly\_Roger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jolly_Roger)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/257 "2010-10-28T01:07:46Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > I can assure you that you are wrong…but if you choose not to believe me, then you may as well stop participating in this thread, **Guin**. > > Naturally, I won’t bother reading the rest of your reply, since you’ve chosen to call me a liar – I have little patience for anyone who questions my credibility, no matter how respected they are on this board. Hell, I don’t believe you either, but since i can go into and post in any thread I choose too, it doesn’t matter. Besides, this is comedy gold. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/258 "2010-10-28T01:10:13Z")
I knew a guy in Alaska who would buy airline bottles of vodka to give to homeless guys. ---
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/259 "2010-10-28T01:25:24Z")
I’m recalling two homeless guys back in Albuquerque who were well-known colorful characters. One would ask you for spare change, and whatever you put in his hand, he’d stare at it in amazement for a long while. It looked like he was trying to figure out, “What the fuck IS this??” Then he’d tell you “Have a bad day!” and wander off. The other one would always ask you for twenty bucks. And this was back when twenty bucks was really twenty bucks. I guess if you ask for a quarter, you get a quarter, but ask for $20, there’s no telling what you might get. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2010, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/260 "2010-10-28T01:32:10Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > I knew a guy in Alaska who would buy airline bottles of vodka to give to homeless guys. Heh. I bet he had to run a gantlet everytime he walked out of a liquor store. “There he is! It’s him!” “No, no! I’ve only got a bottle of Bailey’s Irish Cream for the lady I hope will come up to see my etchings tonight,” as he is trampled by the mob. 🆒 I don’t give money to bums as much as I think I should, but when I do: if they choose to buy booze or drugs or food or shoes with it, that’s none of my business. It’s not my money anymore; it’s theirs, and they can do with it whatever their little heart desires. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=14)