# Dear Homeless Person: Show respect when I give you spare change! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 21, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841 "2010-10-21T00:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/21 "2010-10-21T01:38:28Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > He used that oxygen to give you directions. You gave him a whole fucking quarter. When was the last time you PAID someone for directions? If he were a normal, everyday person, I wouldn’t have given him anything, nor would he have expected anything. Directions are FREELY given in our society – homeless or not, makes zero difference. I only decided to go the extra mile and pay him because hey, why not? No skin off my nose. > [@SSG\_Schwartz](#): > > Do you really believe that 25 cents could make a difference to him? > Or how about this, if someone handed you a dime and said, “I think you need this more than I do.” How would you feel? Sure, it makes a difference. Perhaps not a _single_ quarter, but if someone else gave him two bits, and other a handful of pennies, and so on…it all adds up. It only takes 10-12 quarters to buy a sandwich…or, most likely in his case, a bottle of cheap wine. Now, if he was hoping for enough for a fix of crystal meth, or some other street drug, then yeah, a quarter isn’t gonna get him far towards his fix, which is probably why he rejected my handout. I’ll be sure to keep that in mind next time. And if someone gave me a dime out of the blue, without me asking, I’d probably feel bemused, not disrepected. But that’s neither here nor there – he DID ask for change, I gave him some, and he spit on it. Now…tell me again who’s the asshole in this scenario? Because it certainly ain’t the guy who actually bothers to WORK for a living, ya know? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/22 "2010-10-21T01:44:37Z")
> [@descamisado](#): > > If he was any sort of beggar homeless person worthy of his shoe with the flapping sole and no laces and his reeking ladies coat with one sleeve missing, and he _did_ previously ask you and possibly others for money, he had to have had some sort of cup, box or other receptable to receive any monies that might be proffered to him. > > I’m sure his disdain for your, uhm, largesse was due mainly to (a) your feeling the need to throw the money at him; and (b) the fact it was only two bits. I did not “throw the money at him” – I tossed it for him to catch, _after_ I got his attention. You know, like you’d toss a beer to someone. Maybe he interpreted it differently, but that’s not my problem. Frankly, it doesn’t matter if I threw it, bounced it, or wiped my ass with it first. The size of the donation shouldn’t matter, either. As long as it’s legal tender, his immediate reaction should have been gratitude, not derision. As for the cup/box/other receptacle, I don’t think those are in style nowadays. I can’t recall the last time I encountered a panhandler who had anything but a sign or an open palm. (This guy had neither, BTW.) ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/23 "2010-10-21T01:44:56Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > That has nothing to do with what you said. You said “this didn’t happen,” and directly accused the OP of making up the whole story. Whether the OP was a dick or not is irrelevant to my query. So allow me to clarify: what leads you to believe that **fuzzypickles** ’s story is a lie? Well what _you_ said has nothing to do with _his_ post. Why does his saying he thinks the story is bogus mean that he thinks homeless people are paragons of holiness? At any rate, whether or not the story is bullshit, the OP is an A+ douchebag. That is a fact. Not my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/24 "2010-10-21T01:45:52Z")
Charity should be an act of kindness, right? Sorry it was so harsh for you. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/25 "2010-10-21T01:49:00Z")
How ‘bout a little somethin’…you know…for the effort? Next time just tell him that when he dies, on his deathbed, he will have total consciousness. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/26 "2010-10-21T01:49:22Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > He used that oxygen to give you directions. You gave him a whole fucking quarter. > > There was nothing random about giving him money (in fact, his giving you directions was senseless kindness), and you chose to return and give him money in thanks for giving you accurate directions, and you gave him a whole fucking quarter. > > What have you bought with a quarter lately? “Ooh don’t poo-poo a quarter, Frank. A quarter will buy you a steak and kidney pie, a cup of coffee, a slice of cheesecake and a newsreel. With enough change left over to ride the trolley from Battery Park to the polo grounds.” - _The Old Man and the Lisa_, paraphrased. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/27 "2010-10-21T01:51:52Z")
Great. Now I’m going to worry every time I get a quarter as change that fuzzypickles has wiped his ass with it. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/28 "2010-10-21T01:52:14Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > When was the last time you PAID someone for directions? If he were a normal, everyday person, I wouldn’t have given him anything, nor would he have expected anything. Directions are FREELY given in our society – homeless or not, makes zero difference. I only decided to go the extra mile and pay him because hey, why not? No skin off my nose. You went back. You went out of your way to thank him for giving you directions. You went out of your way to give him a quarter in thanks for him giving you directions. A whole fucking quarter. Where was your gratitude? ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/29 "2010-10-21T01:52:36Z")
I change my opinion a little, knowing the bum did beg for change. Without a receptacle for said begged change, I may also be inclined to toss a quarter or drop a dollar (if I were inclined to give anything at all - which I don’t as a rule anyway). What? Actually hand him change, like with the possibility of touching fingertips to palm? No way. ---
**Author:** ![Notchimine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/bcef8e/32.png) [@Notchimine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Notchimine)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/30 "2010-10-21T01:55:26Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > That has nothing to do with what you said. You said “this didn’t happen,” and directly accused the OP of making up the whole story. Whether the OP was a dick or not is irrelevant to my query. So allow me to clarify: what leads you to believe that **fuzzypickles** ’s story is a lie? I think most of us would like to believe that someone would not give a measly quarter to someone down on his luck. Especially after he helped out. Personally I would much rather believe this is some kind of stupid joke that I simply don’t get than someone like fuzzypickles exists in this world. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/31 "2010-10-21T01:56:15Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > At any rate, whether or not the story is bullshit, the OP is an A+ douchebag. That is a fact. Not my opinion. How do you figure that? If I gave him a dollar, would I be less of a douchebag? If I gave him ten bucks, would that elevate me from douchebagville to merely being a jerkwad? What is the minimum I should give to avoid being considered an asshole? Fifty bucks? To someone who will most likely spend it on crystal meth? How am I more of an asshole by giving him ACTUAL MONEY than not giving him anything at all? Perhaps, next time, I will spit on his shoe and say, “There’s some fresh water, take a shower, you fucking bum!” At least that would be practical, right? I do believe I shall do that next time. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/32 "2010-10-21T01:57:42Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > Actually hand him change, like with the possibility of touching fingertips to palm? No way. I’m idly curious; do you allow contractors working on your house to use your bathroom? ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/33 "2010-10-21T01:58:04Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > If he were a normal, everyday person, I wouldn’t have given him anything, nor would he have expected anything. A normal, everyday person? The mind boggles … > [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Now…tell me again who’s the asshole in this scenario? Because it certainly ain’t the guy who actually bothers to WORK for a living, ya know? :mad: The current U3 unemployment rate in America right now is 9.6 percent. The U6 rate 17.1 percent. How 'bout offering your opinion to those folks? Calling you an asshole is a compliment you should take and [slither back into your hole](http://gallery.photo.net/photo/206063-lg.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/34 "2010-10-21T01:59:53Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > You went out of your way to thank him for giving you directions. You went out of your way to give him a quarter in thanks for him giving you directions. A whole fucking quarter. Where was your gratitude? My gratitude is that I was not obligated to give him anything at all. Yeah, maybe I’m selfish in that I did it for myself, hoping for some positive karma or at least a smile and a thank you from some person obviously down on his luck (albeit bad luck probably caused by his own drug habits.) All I wanted was a little ray of sunshine in an otherwise dreary, rainy day, and guess what? It didn’t work. And stop harping on the “just a quarter” thing. You can still buy a gumball for a quarter, you know. Heck, four quarters will buy you a song on iTunes. It’s not so paltry an amount as you pretend to make it out to be. ---
**Author:** ![Folly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/folly/32/3219_2.png) [@Folly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Folly)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/35 "2010-10-21T02:00:03Z")
Ha. I thought there might be a small chance fuzzypickles wasn’t actually trolling, but I think that last post clinches it. ETA: man this thread is going fast. The 2nd post back by fuzzypickles now. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/36 "2010-10-21T02:00:43Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Frankly, it doesn’t matter if I threw it, bounced it, or wiped my ass with it first. The size of the donation shouldn’t matter, either. As long as it’s legal tender, his immediate reaction should have been gratitude, not derision. So you treat this guy with thinly-veiled contempt, and you get shitty that _his_ reaction was derisive? Oh dear. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/37 "2010-10-21T02:00:54Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > How do you figure that? It’s not the amount of money you gave, it’s your attitude about giving at all to someone who helped you. I’m also mildly interested at how many of the recent trolls have learned to hide their online button in User CP. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/38 "2010-10-21T02:05:02Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > And stop harping on the “just a quarter” thing. You can still buy a gumball for a quarter, you know. Heck, four quarters will buy you a song on iTunes. It’s not so paltry an amount as you pretend to make it out to be. Obviously, a homeless person should have responded, “Thank Goodness, only three more quarters will let me make a payment on my credit card and buy another song from iTunes!” What fucking planet do you live on? ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/39 "2010-10-21T02:12:20Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > So you treat this guy with thinly-veiled contempt… > [@Frank](#): > > It’s not the amount of money you gave, it’s your attitude about giving at all to someone who helped you. Where is everyone getting this “thinly veiled contempt” from? Try reading my OP again, this time with _both_ of your functioning brain cells, if you can find them. In fact, that’s precisely what pissed me off. Not only did I give him money, I made the effort to at least partially _engage_ him as a human being, by looking him in the eye and tossing him the coin. Had I merely dropped the coin at his feet, while looking away from him, then yeah, that kind of thing would be worthy of contempt. But even in that case, he should have said thank you. That’s common courtesy, homeless tweaker or not. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/40 "2010-10-21T02:15:43Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > How do you figure that? > > If I gave him a dollar, would I be less of a douchebag? You seem to think the amount of money you gave him has anything to do with anything. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=3)