# Dear Homeless Person: Show respect when I give you spare change! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 21, 2010, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841 "2010-10-21T00:29:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/141 "2010-10-21T18:52:43Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’m with the OP on this. The hobo should have said thank you, tucked that quarter away in his bindle, and then regaled the other hobos with the story of the rich man who needed directions when he was heating his can of stew up over the barrel fire later that night down at the rail yard. > [@Giraffe](#): > > Once you’ve ridden the rails for a while and listened to their stories and harmonica recitals, you’ll realize how wrong you are. They value freedom and camaraderie, always willing to lend a helping hand in fingerless gloves or gummy-mouthed smile. They are truly princes among men, the noble hobos. As much as I hate to admit it…I LOL’ed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/142 "2010-10-21T19:03:48Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Oh, I’m with you…it is perfectly within his rights as a human being to act disdainful. And it’s perfectly within my own rights to, based on that encounter, spit in the face of the next bum I see. Please do. After you get out of prison, I’ll represent the bum in suing your ass off, including for punitive damages (as that’s the exact situation which punitives were initially meant to deal with). With any luck then, your positions will be completely reversed, and the ex bum can throw the odd quarter at you and expect your grovelling gratitude. ---
**Author:** ![Trom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@Trom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trom)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/143 "2010-10-21T19:08:03Z")
If I were to witness the exchange, I’d probably think the homeless guy was being a jerk. From a 3rd person omniscient point of view, I’d probably say both were jerks. I completely disagree that giving someone 25 cents is insulting. Of course the manner of the exchange is to be taken into account. Throwing three nickels and a dime onto the floor with your chin in the air - insulting. Handing or gently tossing a quarter into someones open, receptive hand - not insulting. The way the OP described it, I picture him doing more of the second. As his inner feelings and opinions were revealed it’s easy to imagine him acting more like the first. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/144 "2010-10-21T19:23:08Z")
Was there any particular reason that you couldn’t have dropped the quarter into his hand, along with a “here ya go” rather than tossing it? Your act of tossing the money may have been seen by the “bum” as a gesture lacking in common courtesy. Also, I believe that you were in West LA, not Brentwood. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/145 "2010-10-21T19:24:38Z")
I’ve changed my mind on the value of a quarter. It can potentially be of significant value, such as in this particular case. Imagine if you will - there is a person in your life who is disdainful and arrogant, and you’d like to cause them angst, at a minimal cost to yourself, either personal or financial. Imagine if, for 25 cents, you could: - give them a visible sign of your disgust of their behavior and attitude - have them stew over your actions for some time - get them to waste valuable time posting a rant on a messageboard - have dozens of strangers call them a douchbag and worse - best of all - never lay eyes on them again I would call that value for my money! ---
**Author:** ![heavyarms553](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/779978/32.png) [@heavyarms553](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavyarms553)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/146 "2010-10-21T19:30:53Z")
As much as I appreciate your “Blessings of Akatosh” quote, you sound like a prick based on your description of the event. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/147 "2010-10-21T19:40:05Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > This is about Fuzzy and his bum. Oh, the imagery there is NOT good! And when I was seven, I lost a filling while chewing a gumball. (I’m trying to find the part where the guy asked for spare change – and I can’t find it. Doesn’t mean you have to throw it at him, though. That’s probably what pissed him off) ---
**Author:** ![Catfood\_Purrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Catfood\_Purrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catfood_Purrito)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/148 "2010-10-21T19:54:12Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > If he thinks he’s entitled to more than a quarter, despite wearing ratty clothes and absolute lack of personal hygiene, then he is clearly living in a deluded fantasy world (irregardless of drug use) and deserves to be mocked and kicked and hassled by police like the worthless piece of refuse he is. > > Who knows…maybe, next time I see him, I _will_ give him a penny. Just to show what I really think of him and those like him. Jesus fucking christ, if you’re not trolling, then you are a disgusting piece of shit and I will pray to God every night for the next week that one day you find yourself in his place. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/149 "2010-10-21T20:03:52Z")
> [@Mr.Excellent](#): > > This. It would have genuinely been more polite and respectful for you to thank the man sincerely, and give him nothing at all, than it was to give him a damned quarter. Simply thanking him would have kept your interaction in a purely social context, in which sincere thanks is the normal and appropriate response to helpful directions. But tossing him a quarter says “I think your assistance was worth this trivial and useless sum of money.” > > I don’t generally give to beggars, but I _do_ give to buskers - who, like this particular beggar, are actually providing a service. And I would consider it very rude to give less than a dollar. I think\*\* Mr. Excellent \*\*and, earlier, \*\*Big T \*\*have dissected out some of the real meaning in this situation. By returning to pay the homeless gentleman, **fuzzypickles** was turning an act of simple kindness, generosity and participation in the social welfare - giving directions - into a business transaction. Now this might be considered gauche, but to really twist the knife, \*\*fuzzypickles \*\*makes it a business transaction and then underpays, like \*\*seriously \*\*underpays the guy for his efforts. Here’s another analogy, which will no shoot right past the OP. The OP is walking along the street and he sees a baby carriage thundering down the hill towards an intersection. He leaps forward and grabs the carriage, such that it stops inches from a massive semi that would surely have obliterated it. A pretty young mother runs screaming up and snatches the baby, and to thank him…gives him a dime as she wheels the carriage away. It’s not that he wanted or expected money, or even more money - he didn’t - but once you’ve reduced a generous gesture to cold cash, you don’t want to be a cheapskate. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/150 "2010-10-21T20:04:48Z")
> [@Trom](#): > > Throwing three nickels and a dime onto the floor with your chin in the air - insulting. Handing or gently tossing a quarter into someones open, receptive hand - not insulting. The way the OP described it, I picture him doing more of the second. Thank you, THANK YOU! That is exactly how it went down (method #2). Don’t know why it’s taking so long for so many others to figure that out… > [@Guinastasia](#): > > > [@bucketybuck](#): > > > > This is about Fuzzy and his bum. > > Oh, the imagery there is NOT good! You don’t even want to know… 😉 > [@Guinastasia](#): > > (I’m trying to find the part where the guy asked for spare change – and I can’t find it.) Hmm, could’ve sworn I wrote it in the OP, but apparently not. Doesn’t change the facts, however. To refresh everyone’s memory, here’s how it went down: 1.[Me]: (walking west on Wilshire, looking for Fatburger) 2. [Bum]: **“Spare change, mister?”** 3. [Me]: /ignore [seconds later] 1. [Me]: (walking east, still looking) 2. [Bum]: **“Hey mister, spare change?”** 3. [Me]: (thinking to self: _“Hell, no.”_) 4. [Me]: (out loud) **“Do you know where Fatburger is?”** 5. [Bum]: **“Yeah, down that way.”** (points) 6. [Me]: (speaking quickly, before Bum can ask for spare change again): **“Thanks.”** [next scene, inside Fatburger] 7. [Me]: **“Yum, yum.”** (looks at change, which comprises several pennies and one Maine state quarter.) 8. [Me]: (thinking to self) _“You know, maybe I should give this quarter to that homeless guy, despite my general opinion of panhandlers. After all, he did give me directions, and it’s only a stinking quarter. At the very least, it will give us both a ray of sunshine on this otherwise dreary, rain-soaked day.”_ [next scene, on Wilshire again] 9. [Bum]: **“Spare change, mister?”** 10. [Me]: **“Sure, here you go.”** (gives him quarter) 11. [Bum]: (paraphrased) **“WHAT? ONLY A QUARTER? YOU SUCK!”** (kicks coin into gutter) 12. [Me]: (appropriately appalled) _“Jesus Christ, was that ever a waste of time and effort. Not to mention wasting a perfectly good quarter. At least it was only a quarter. But, no way in hell am I ever doing THAT again!”_ 13. [Me]: (drives home, start Pit thread, and you know the rest.) ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/151 "2010-10-21T20:13:27Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > It’s not that he wanted or expected money, or even more money - he didn’t - but once you’ve reduced a generous gesture to cold cash, you don’t want to be a cheapskate. Point taken. Let me ask you, then – how much would YOU have given? A dollar? Five dollars? Would you write a check or sign over your credit card? How much is enough to give to a street person w/o coming across as “underpaying”??? Seriously, I don’t think any homeless street person should EVER feel insulted if I gave him ANY legal tender at all. Doesn’t matter if it’s twenty bucks or two pennies. If I took time to give him some of my cash, in exchange for directions or not, he should be appreciative. Even if he does feel insulted, he should STILL say “Thanks,” merely to acknowledge the gift which I was under no obligation to give him at all. Frankly, I’m shocked that anyone is siding with this street person. The supposed ethics of the situation doesn’t matter – he’s basically guaranteed that I will _never_ donate money to any street person ever again, and in fact I will show no restraint in expressing to the next street person I meet exactly how I feel about him and all the other worthless dregs of American society. So, you see? He’s not only ruined it for himself, but for all others of his ilk. But perhaps that’s for the best, you know? ---
**Author:** ![villa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@villa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/villa)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/152 "2010-10-21T20:29:25Z")
No you won’t, because you are terrified of the ass kicking you would get if you did. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/153 "2010-10-21T20:36:12Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > Point taken. Let me ask you, then – how much would YOU have given? A dollar? Five dollars? Would you write a check or sign over your credit card? Well, see, I live in Canada, so the equation is somewhat different. Here we have the $1 and $2 coins, so you could have upped the ante while still chucking money at him. In the US you’d need a Sacagawea dollar or a Kennedy half-dollar or something, otherwise your largesse just flutters there. If I’d given him anything, I’d probably have given him at least a loonie or a twoonie, but I don’t have any objection to giving money to people. However, since I lived in Vancouver for years, I had to come up with my own guidelines concerning giving money to people, and I might not have given him anything, possibly I’d have just said ‘Thanks, I appreciate it’. Then again, I wasn’t there. ---
**Author:** ![fuzzypickles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9d8465/32.png) [@fuzzypickles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fuzzypickles)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/154 "2010-10-21T20:40:34Z")
> [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](#): > > In the US you’d need a Sacagawea dollar or a Kennedy half-dollar or something, otherwise your largesse just flutters there. I see your point…problem is, those coins rarely, if ever, show up in “spare change”. We’re still using $1 greenbacks down here. IMHO, one dollar is way too much to give to a homeless person, except under _very_ exceptional circumstances. (Not that I can think of what those circumstances might entail.) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_jeffrey_lebowski/32/215_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Jeffrey_Lebowski)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/155 "2010-10-21T20:46:55Z")
First off, thanks for ignoring my question; and I have a follow up querie. Are you not aware that most homeless people have severe issues? The type of mental debilities that cause their homelessness? The type of mental issues that would make them occasionally lacking in social graces? ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/156 "2010-10-21T20:48:43Z")
Which is why, if you’re going to be, lets say ‘less than generous’, the best thing would have been to just treat him as another citizen of the metropolis and simply say ‘thanks’, allowing him to be generous by helping you out. ---
**Author:** ![Redpill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/58956e/32.png) [@Redpill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Redpill)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/157 "2010-10-21T20:51:54Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > IMHO, one dollar is way too much to give to a homeless person, except under _very_ exceptional circumstances. (Not that I can think of what those circumstances might entail.) I think a dollar bill is amount we can all get behind, if you are looking for a verbal thanks. Plus you can fold it lengthwise and slip it in his waistband copping a little feel too. Win-win all around. (I think he was just mad that you tossed it, or maybe just having a bad day. He’d be flattered if he knew there’s a thread about him) ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/158 "2010-10-21T21:24:19Z")
> [@Redpill](#): > > I think a dollar bill is amount we can all get behind, if you are looking for a verbal thanks. Plus you can fold it lengthwise and slip it in his waistband copping a little feel too. Win-win all around. > > (I think he was just mad that you tossed it, or maybe just having a bad day. He’d be flattered if he knew there’s a thread about him) However, he won’t know, he’s over on iTunes trying to buy songs with quarters. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/159 "2010-10-21T21:33:50Z")
> [@fuzzypickles](#): > > And yeah, a quarter may not mean much to you or me, but it would mean a lot to someone really down on his luck. In 1933, yeah. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841/160 "2010-10-21T21:38:55Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Jeffrey\_Lebowski](#): > > Are you not aware that most homeless people have severe issues? The type of mental debilities that cause their homelessness? The type of mental issues that would make them occasionally lacking in social graces? What’s **fuzzy** ’s excuse? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-homeless-person-show-respect-when-i-give-you-spare-change/557841.md?page=9)