# Dear Husband, **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 19, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754 "2010-12-19T22:17:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/21 "2010-12-20T05:16:26Z")
Moved to MPSIMS from the pit. ---
**Author:** ![shantih](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f6c823/32.png) [@shantih](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shantih)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 10:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/22 "2010-12-20T10:26:51Z")
> [@pikey\_pete](#): > > not so. Im just an ‘oops’ generator. difference is I admit when I fuck up and try to improve. I actually have a good track record for this Mmmrow! Hot! ---
**Author:** ![saje](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saje/32/3631_2.png) [@saje](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saje)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/23 "2010-12-20T11:06:39Z")
I’m not single, but it’s a good part the of the reason I don’t have kids. I don’t need kids, I have a husband… (Who earns 99.9% of all the $$, and I do 99.9% of everything else) ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/24 "2010-12-20T12:10:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > And we men are sorry we ever got talked (or fucked) into having children. Had you women not been so incredibly selfish about breeding these little hellions, we all would have been decently extinct long ago and not suffering these daily traumas. He wants twice as many as we have! I’m the one drawing the line. And I totally agree, if you want order and peace, don’t have kids. Somewhere I read, “having a baby is like a bomb going off in your marriage,” and it’s true. Kids are stressful. And y’all have to understand, the reason this warranted a snarky thread is that normally he is so much better than the average guy. Yes, he is largely dirt-blind, but if I ask him to do something, he usually does it pleasantly. He is in charge of most of the laundry, which is awesome. That’s in addition to doing the stereotypical man jobs of garbage and hedge trimming. (And I have to admit, while he’s the one who’s not great at _cleaning_, I’m the one who’s not great at picking up.) So anyway, yes, I did tell him he was being a jerk, and I was sorely tempted to ram that sippy cup up his hinder. But when I found out he’d lost about 90 minutes of work on this presentation he already hated doing, I understood a bit more where it was coming from. And I proofread it for him. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/25 "2010-12-20T17:28:15Z")
Ouch! Yeah, I can see where the pissy was coming from. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/26 "2010-12-20T17:47:09Z")
I wish my wife could lurk here so she could get an appreciation for all the things I do. Seriously. She has no idea. And apparently I’m just a typical father doing typical father things, like: - Grocery shopping (100%) - Cleaning the bathrooms (100%) - Vacuuming (100%) - Dishes (50%) - Cooking (70%) - Driving kids to various events and lessons (80%) - Feeding the dog (100%) - Walking the dog (100%) - All repair and maintenance on the outside, including lawn, pool, cars, etc. (100%) - Helping kids with homework (50%) - Keeping the wood stove going (80%) - Surrendering all TV programming to reality and home improvement shows (95%) I’m just doing what fathers do apparently, when I dare to mention how much I do around the house. So I better just keep my mouth shut. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/27 "2010-12-20T17:49:06Z")
You forgot spider killing. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/28 "2010-12-20T17:52:03Z")
Ya. That too. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/29 "2010-12-20T18:10:28Z")
Shame on your husband **Unauthorized Cinnamon**. Seriously, shame on him. It’s not like there was a football game on or something. ---
**Author:** ![MLS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/919ad9/32.png) [@MLS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MLS)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/30 "2010-12-20T18:39:05Z")
> [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](#): > > To be totally fair, he went to the grocery store and picked up the chili powder I needed on his way back from getting his hair cut, so I didn’t actually have to go and do that. And when his mom called with an emergency five minutes after he went into the study to watch the kids, he went over, but he took the kids with him. > > He’s still acting kind of pissy though. I think he has premanstrual syndrome. My daughters and I say the Mister occasionally has PMS - Permanent Male Syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/31 "2010-12-20T18:43:11Z")
Wow, that post could’ve been written by me. I try to give my husband the benefit of the doubt and attribute his lack of attention to cluelessness. He’s actually a great dad, but the kids tend to gravitate toward me, wherever I am in the house, taking most of the burden of watching them off him if I’m not in the same room. Is your situation similar? ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/32 "2010-12-20T18:51:42Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Some comedian had a routine about this – that it was a matter of eyesight. Women can see dirt (like cockroach shit) where men see nothing at all. Dave Barry, for one. He once wrote that men don’t notice dirt until it collects in large enough clumps to support commercial agriculture. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2010, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/33 "2010-12-20T20:12:33Z")
> [@saje](#): > > I’m not single, but it’s a good part the of the reason I don’t have kids. I don’t need kids, I have a husband… > (Who earns 99.9% of all the $$, and I do 99.9% of everything else) Trade you - I do both. ---
**Author:** ![Ace309](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ace309/32/1050_2.png) [@Ace309](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ace309)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/34 "2010-12-21T00:37:39Z")
> [@MLS](#): > > My daughters and I say the Mister occasionally has PMS - Permanent Male Syndrome. Ha, ha! And how about women drivers! Am I right? Ha, ha! ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/35 "2010-12-21T01:27:24Z")
> [@Ace309](#): > > Ha, ha! And how about women drivers! Am I right? Ha, ha! Exactly! Especially the old maid drivers! Best wishes, hh ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/36 "2010-12-21T01:30:49Z")
I have learned a lot from the neo-chauvinism movement on this issue. The sexes are fundamentally different and that is all there is to it. That is usually a good thing until the the old school feminists got their hands on everything and made a mess of things, not just for the men but for the females as well. It must absolutely suck to be a female in this day and age. Not only are you expected to make money but you have to keep the old school standards of housekeeping in place too. Not to mention the childbearing. It just throws a monkey wrench into the whole works and a modernly aware female is a terribly uncomfortable thing to be around like a volcano that can blow at any moment. Chaos and confusion are the inevitable result. Men didn’t have any such movement. We just sat by helplessly as the social and political winds shifted with no movement of our own and little guidance from past generations because they were just as confused as we are. Asking me to clean a house to a woman’s standards is about as fruitful as asking a blind person to dress you and then yelling at them when they don’t do it right day after day. It will wear on you after a while. In all seriousness, it was completely worth it for me to get a divorce over this type of thing because it was not going to get any better no matter how hard I tried. The house is her domain and you are the captive servant who can only hope to pass the grade sometimes and never excel at it or be an equal. It is all arbitrary anyway. I could have screamed at her for not keeping the vehicles in tip-top shape or not following a list to sharpen every tool on the property in rotations but that would be stupid. It is the same thing. It is a soul destroyer. If you want to stay married and have a happy spouse, pick what is important to you and do it yourself. As long as the health department isn’t being called, your personal nitpicks are selfish to thrust upon someone else that probably can’t even notice or understand the world the way you do. Taking good care of a child is the most important thing a husband and father can do and everything else is secondary. ---
**Author:** ![Arnold\_Winkelried](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Arnold\_Winkelried](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arnold_Winkelried)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/37 "2010-12-21T01:33:45Z")
Being married with children, I understand where the OP is coming from, but if the husband was actually working from home (i.e. telecommuting), I empathize with him too. I used to try to telecommute a couple of days a week, and I quit doing that because the kids were too distracting. And my wife would not always understand when she wanted to leave the kids at home during her grocery shopping trip, and I would say “No, I’m working here.” Now that we’re both working with two small kids, we have other things to argue about. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/38 "2010-12-21T02:43:41Z")
I was wondering why \*\*\*Spoiled Cinnamon \*\*\*kept logging off WOW in the middle of raids all Sunday long. I was THIS close to dumping his ass from the guild before I read your thread… ;)😃 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/39 "2010-12-21T06:11:05Z")
If anyone ever asks me to define “passive-aggressive,” I’ll point them to this OP. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2010, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754/40 "2010-12-21T11:40:02Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > If anyone ever asks me to define “passive-aggressive,” I’ll point them to this OP. Heh, I must admit I thought that myself when I was reading it, but by the end I realised that it had invisible :rolleyes:'s throughout. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-husband/564754.md?page=3)