# Dear Jewelry Store With A Sign Out Front **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503 "2011-07-18T21:53:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/1 "2011-07-18T21:53:32Z")
What the fuck are you thinking?!? I was out running this morning past a few small businesses and this store had this sign out front: [McGilicutty’s Fine Jewelry](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=616580) What better way is there to say, “Jump me when I walk out of this store, I have a brand new diamond necklace in this bag. These giant diamonds are so awesome and high class that I needed a team of experts with a REALLY big sign to help me pick it out. And if I’m buying jewelry, you know that I have a wife or girlfriend, so you can follow me home and peek in the window when she’s in the shower.” I get that it’s a great form of advertising, but certainly not for the customer. ---
**Author:** ![mlees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@mlees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mlees)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/2 "2011-07-18T21:56:23Z")
Is that link the one you intended? It took me to the “Dear Geek Squad Home Theatre Installation” thread… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/3 "2011-07-18T22:02:12Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Is that link the one you intended? It took me to the “Dear Geek Squad Home Theatre Installation” thread… Parody thread. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/4 "2011-07-18T22:09:13Z")
> [@mlees](#): > > Is that link the one you intended? It took me to the “Dear Geek Squad Home Theatre Installation” thread… Read the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/5 "2011-07-18T22:09:34Z")
Obviously they should operate in the shadows, behind a plaster facade of a 99 cent store, and only show jewelry to people who know the password. You get the password by going into the building marked “No passwords in here, and no criminals allowed”. This would help but it isn’t a complete solution. Publisher’s clearing house continues to inform the public that I might already have won over $1 million. ---
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/6 "2011-07-18T22:24:11Z")
What kind of a paranoid loser worries about being robbed? I modified my front living room to look like a store front, so that people walking by can look inside and see all the great stuff I have. I also replaced my truck with plexiglass so that when I’m parked people walking by can see all the great stuff I keep in my trunk. I know all kinds of people like that and none of them have ever gotten robbed, I consider that proof that it keeps buglers away. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/7 "2011-07-18T22:36:16Z")
Well, who wouldn’t want to keep buglers away? Damned “Taps” at oh-dark-thirty . . . ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/8 "2011-07-18T22:36:49Z")
That thread turned out to be an even bigger waste of time than I imagined. But I’ll give it credit for spawning this great thread. The biggest problem? Obviously the banks. **emack** - Do the buglers play before or after a house gets robbed? ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/9 "2011-07-18T22:48:33Z")
All but the most hardened buglers would avoid any confrontation with the home owner if they possibly could. But still, the prisons are full of buglers who thought they could get away with belting out just a few quick bars before making their escape. ---
**Author:** ![emacknight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/3ec8ea/32.png) [@emacknight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/emacknight)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2011, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/10 "2011-07-18T23:46:01Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What the fuck are you thinking?!? > > I was out running this morning past a few small businesses and this store had this sign out front: > > [McGilicutty’s Fine Jewelry](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=616580) > > What better way is there to say, “Jump me when I walk out of this store, I have a brand new diamond necklace in this bag. These giant diamonds are so awesome and high class that I needed a team of experts with a REALLY big sign to help me pick it out. And if I’m buying jewelry, you know that I have a wife or girlfriend, so you can follow me home and peek in the window when she’s in the shower.” > > I get that it’s a great form of advertising, but certainly not for the customer. Even the most hardened of criminals knows not to rob a monkey with a gun. ---
**Author:** ![Damuri\_Ajashi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Damuri\_Ajashi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Damuri_Ajashi)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/11 "2011-07-19T17:31:00Z")
> [@emacknight](#): > > What kind of a paranoid loser worries about being robbed? > > I modified my front living room to look like a store front, so that people walking by can look inside and see all the great stuff I have. > > I also replaced my truck with plexiglass so that when I’m parked people walking by can see all the great stuff I keep in my trunk. > > I know all kinds of people like that and none of them have ever gotten robbed, I consider that proof that it keeps buglers away. I thought you lived in Canada. I live in USA and I keep my doors unlocked during teh day and I keep my car keys in the car. Perhaps you should consider raising taxes to pay for policemen. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/12 "2011-07-19T17:59:55Z")
> [@Damuri\_Ajashi](#): > > I thought you lived in Canada. I live in USA and I keep my doors unlocked during teh day and I keep my car keys in the car. Perhaps you should consider raising taxes to pay for policemen. They call them Mounties. I think it’s because in their spare time, they’ll mount flat screens from Best Buy to the walls. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/13 "2011-07-19T19:26:42Z")
And don’t even get me started on [these bags](http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view;_ylt=A0PDoX2b2SVOnW0AU3GJzbkF;_ylu=X3oDMTA3cnMybzJvBHNsawNpbWc-?back=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.search.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%2Fimages%3Fp%3Dtiffany%2527s%2Bbag%26ei%3DUTF-8%26fr%3Dyfp-t-412%26b%3D1%26tab%3Dorganic&w=629&h=701&imgurl=memorylaneminis.com%2Fshop%2Fimages%2Ftiffany-bag-tissue-paper.JPG&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fmemorylaneminis.com%2Fshop%2Findex.php%3Fmain_page%3Dindex%26amp%3Bmanufacturers_id%3D55%26amp%3Bsort%3D20a%26amp%3Bpage%3D2&size=157.6+KB&name=tiffany+shopping+bag+with+tissue+paper+this+tiffany+shopping+bag+is+...&p=tiffany%27s+bag&oid=ce00a11630be9431f86351d557ab1e79&fr2=&fr=yfp-t-412&tt=tiffany+shopping+bag+with+tissue+paper+this+tiffany+shopping+bag+is+...&b=0&ni=21&no=25&tab=organic&sigr=139i2gdnv&sigb=134r4ntp6&sigi=11s4nd36u&.crumb=pzl8rPkEwvc)! What the hell are they thinking?!? Making you carry your purchase home in that. Might as well wear a neon sign saying ‘please rob me’. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/14 "2011-07-19T19:33:21Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > They call them Mounties. I think it’s because in their spare time, they’ll mount flat screens from Best Buy to the walls. Great - now I’ll be thinking of this post and giggling next time I’m stopped by them on the highway. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/15 "2011-07-19T19:45:14Z")
I do all my gift shopping for Mrs. J. at McGilicutty’s Cheesy Knock-Offs. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/16 "2011-07-19T20:15:32Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > I do all my gift shopping for Mrs. J. at McGilicutty’s Cheesy Knock-Offs. That’s just as bad, because now you’re carrying a giant neon advertisement for cheesy criminals. Do you want to be mugged by some dude with a freeze ray yelling “Ice to see you!”? Because that’s what’ll happen. ---
**Author:** ![Gedd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gedd/32/4938_2.png) [@Gedd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gedd)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/17 "2011-07-19T20:42:59Z")
That’s why whenever my wife and I go out for a fancy dinner we first dress in our old painting clothes. We take my suit and her dress in an old rucksack with us and then change in the bathroom of the restaurant. We just got a Porsche 911 GT3 but we keep it at the dealer’s (we didn’t want anyone to follow us home and steal it) and take a taxi. She doesn’t wear the 3-karat diamond ring I got her when we got engaged; it is kept in a safe deposit box at the bank (the sign says “Joe’s Ordinary Diner” to keep a low profile) and she wears a fake one. Can’t be too safe. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/18 "2011-07-19T22:13:07Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > They call them Mounties. I think it’s because in their spare time, they’ll mount flat screens from Best Buy to the walls. Nah. It’s because of the kinky things they do to their horses. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/19 "2011-07-19T22:25:57Z")
Now _this_ is how a parody thread should be done. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2011, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503/20 "2011-07-19T22:40:26Z")
[Crime capital of America](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opportunity,_Washington). I’m always hearing about the crimes of this place. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-jewelry-store-with-a-sign-out-front/589503.md?page=2)