# Dear kanicbird: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 11, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117 "2010-05-11T23:46:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/1 "2010-05-11T23:46:28Z")
Elsewhere on the dope, in response to the question, "Why does child molestation happen, you write: > [@Why does child molestation happen?](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/why-does-child-molestation-happen/539091/2): > > This is the closest, but also people can relieve their pain by inflicting it onto others, causing them to bear it. Child can easily accept that they did something wrong to deserve it. The child bears the weight, and shame of the molester, and the molester gets relief. \*\*It’s a effect of soul ties, the act forces the 2 to become 1, the more powerful takes possession of the innocent child spirit and leaves the child with theirs. \*\* > > When that child grows up, bearing the guilt and shame, and seeking relief, finds a child victim, and the process is repeated. [bolding mine] I am not sure why I’m bothering with this. You give every impression of being an impervious to both criticism and reason. But I feel the need to tell you what an ignorant, vile, repellent, vomitous fuckwit you are. Please find the nearest catbox and eat as much feline feces as you can without killing yourself. Jackass. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/2 "2010-05-11T23:51:02Z")
God help me, on some level I understand that. ETA: I mean Kanic… I kinda get it. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/3 "2010-05-11T23:53:48Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I am not sure why I’m bothering with this. That’s what I was wondering when I opened this thread. At least we’re all clear on the fact that this is a waste of time. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/4 "2010-05-11T23:56:27Z")
Jim Jones meets Stuart Smalley. What’s not to like? ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/5 "2010-05-11T23:57:23Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Please find the nearest catbox and eat as much feline feces as you can without killing yourself. Be careful of the deodorizing crystals! Those won’t be good for you at all. For clarity, the above is intended as a warning to **kanicbird** , when he carries out **Skald** ’s instruction. We wouldn’t want him to harm himself, after all. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/6 "2010-05-11T23:58:11Z")
It’s kind of a gross, weird way to explain that perps were frequently perped upon themselves. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2010, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/7 "2010-05-11T23:59:37Z")
That’s easily managed without resorting to “soul ties.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/8 "2010-05-12T00:12:18Z")
Dude, Kanic is _an insane person_. You might as well point out to the street preacher that the world isn’t really going to end on Thursday. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/9 "2010-05-12T00:28:55Z")
Yeah, ‘soul ties’ is killing me. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Understander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3da27b/32.png) [@The\_Understander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Understander)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/10 "2010-05-12T00:35:12Z")
Weak mind finds primitive way to express a complicated, horrible, and inexplicable situation. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/11 "2010-05-12T00:40:07Z")
I have a friend who was sexually abused by a teacher, at a boarding school, from 3rd through 8th grades. He grew up with that experience as his only model for a sexual relationship. He found he had urges to relive the experience as the abuser, for a whole host of complicated reasons that make sense, on a strictly logical level, when you talk to him about all that he learned about himself in therapy. He never acted on the urges, and knowing him as well as I do I believe him when he tells me that 20-odd years of therapy has brought him to a place where he no longer has those urges. But talking to him has given me some insight on the subject I might never have had. And despite **kanicbird** ’s cuckoo system of belief, at bottom he’s largely right about the motivation of some abusers. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/12 "2010-05-12T00:58:57Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > And despite **kanicbird** ’s cuckoo system of belief, at bottom he’s largely right about the motivation of some abusers. That’s probably true of a lot of the stuff he says. He would be a lot less annoying if he didn’t feel the need to always include the weird religious bullshit in every post he makes. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/13 "2010-05-12T01:01:37Z")
I’m impressed, lissener. That’s exactly what I was thinking, It’s well known that abuse victims often get a warped sense of sexual urges, and wind up abusers themselves. Kanicbird’s explanation is very close to what I would use to explain it to a person who does not understand the logical, but the spiritual. It has been my observation that a lot things people call spiritual are the same as things that can be explained psychologically. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/14 "2010-05-12T01:01:56Z")
Well, if Kanicbird had made the explicit point that the child _should_ feel no shame, maybe it wouldn’t have come off so hard, but maybe he assumes that of course the child should feel no shame, and that goes without saying. The child should feel no shame, but often does, in no small part due to some people’s sick attitudes about sex…we project that onto our children. So it is no wonder they feel shame when the shouldn’t. But yeah, all of that craziness in Kanic’s post makes sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/15 "2010-05-12T01:08:10Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Be careful of the deodorizing crystals! Those won’t be good for you at all. > > For clarity, the above is intended as a warning to **kanicbird** , when he carries out **Skald** ’s instruction. We wouldn’t want him to harm himself, after all. Oh, so it’s okay for ME to eat the deodorizing crystals?!?!@?! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/16 "2010-05-12T01:09:15Z")
> [@Kyla](#): > > That’s what I was wondering when I opened this thread. At least we’re all clear on the fact that this is a waste of time. I was venting. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/17 "2010-05-12T01:13:32Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I was venting. That’s understandable. **kanicbird** has that effect on people. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/18 "2010-05-12T02:54:51Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > Yeah, ‘soul ties’ is killing me. Are soul ties like Twisty ties, or more like those weird heavy duty plastic things with the saw-tooth edges? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/19 "2010-05-12T04:10:56Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, so it’s okay for ME to eat the deodorizing crystals?!?!@?! :mad: No, that’ll interfere with the feline soul ties. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/20 "2010-05-12T04:38:21Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Dude, Kanic is _an insane person_. > You might as well point out to the street preacher that the world isn’t really going to end on Thursday. This. I learned long ago not to engage in debate with some people . . . and this one especially. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117.md?page=2)