# Dear kanicbird: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 11, 2010, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117 "2010-05-11T23:46:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/21 "2010-05-12T04:59:43Z")
Wait, **kanicbird** is a dude? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/22 "2010-05-12T05:15:40Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#): > > Wait, **kanicbird** is a dude? Yep. Well, that and a complete lunatic. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/23 "2010-05-12T06:25:16Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > I’m impressed, lissener. That’s exactly what I was thinking, It’s well known that abuse victims often get a warped sense of sexual urges, and wind up abusers themselves. The problem with that idea–particularly as expressed by Kanicbird–is that “often” is still a small percentage of the abused population. [While it is very true that some percentage of abusers tend to have been abused, (although not as many as previously believed), it is not true that abused tend to grow up to be abusers.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse#Causal_factors) When someone poses a weird pseudo-religious “explanation” for what happens to the abused as though it is cast in concrete, (or preordained by God), it tends to disrupt any intelligent discussion. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/24 "2010-05-12T06:31:30Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > When someone poses a weird pseudo-religious “explanation” for what happens to the abused as though it is cast in concrete, (or preordained by God), it tends to disrupt any intelligent discussion. QFT. Glad to see you coming around to my point-of-view, **Tom**. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/25 "2010-05-12T06:54:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Oh, so it’s okay for ME to eat the deodorizing crystals?!?!@?! :mad: We figured you intimidated them into being nontoxic. Gods know I wouldn’t want to be thought capable of harming you.\* - Just in case you think I can, I’ll be hiding in Fiji\*\* under an assumed name, behind a middlin’ sized rock. \*\* Okay, it’s not Fiji. ---
**Author:** ![Carmady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f04885/32.png) [@Carmady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carmady)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/26 "2010-05-12T07:13:30Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It’s well known that abuse victims often get a warped sense of sexual urges, and wind up abusers themselves. It may be “well known” but it isn’t true. The vast, vast majority of child abuse victims do not become abusers themselves. What is true is that many (but not quite most) abusers were themselves abused, but logically that does not say anything about how many victims become abusers. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/27 "2010-05-12T07:24:20Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Elsewhere on the dope, in response to the question, "Why does child molestation happen, you write: > > [bolding mine] > > I am not sure why I’m bothering with this. You give every impression of being an impervious to both criticism and reason. But I feel the need to tell you what an ignorant, vile, repellent, vomitous fuckwit you are. Please find the nearest catbox and eat as much feline feces as you can without killing yourself. > > Jackass. So, having shoved Kanicbird’s face in the feline feces that someone obviously once did to you, is your anger, humiliation, outrage and pain a bit relieved? Well, if it is, then wipe that fucking smile off your face! ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/28 "2010-05-12T08:50:20Z")
I’ve heard this concept in fundie Christian circles before - that the sex act creates an insoluble spritual union - to the effect that when people have sex outside of marriage or who get divorced, they will be committing adultery if they have subsequent sexual relations with someone else to whom they are not united. There is (kinda) scriptural support for some of this, but you have to reach the conclusion by inference and extrapolation. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/29 "2010-05-12T11:26:53Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > I’ve heard this concept in fundie Christian circles before - that the sex act creates an insoluble spritual union - to the effect that when people have sex outside of marriage or who get divorced, they will be committing adultery if they have subsequent sexual relations with someone else to whom they are not united. > > There is (kinda) scriptural support for some of this, but you have to reach the conclusion by inference and extrapolation. I have heard it said, quite seriously, by a minister of the Church of God in Christ, that a woman who has sex with a man absorbs his semen into her bones. Not punching that guy in the nads was probably selfish on my part. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/30 "2010-05-12T11:31:13Z")
I’d say that if your average bog-standard god was watching all this child exploitation/molestation and not doing anything to stop it - besides sending **kanicbird** to teach us the errors of our ways - then said god is a pedo and wants reporting to a higher authority. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/31 "2010-05-12T13:26:25Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > The problem with that idea–particularly as expressed by Kanicbird–is that “often” is still a small percentage of the abused population. [While it is very true that some percentage of abusers tend to have been abused, (although not as many as previously believed), it is not true that abused tend to grow up to be abusers.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_sexual_abuse#Causal_factors) > When someone poses a weird pseudo-religious “explanation” for what happens to the abused as though it is cast in concrete, (or preordained by God), it tends to disrupt any intelligent discussion. Quite apart from that, it’s pretty clear that abused children who _do_ become abusers don’t get cured once they’ve abused somebody else and stolen their soul. ---
**Author:** ![ivan\_astikov](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@ivan\_astikov](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivan_astikov)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/32 "2010-05-12T13:28:30Z")
They might not be doing it right! ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/33 "2010-05-12T13:39:06Z")
> [@ivan\_astikov](#): > > They might not be doing it right! If you haven’t soul-swapped with your victim, you haven’t done it right. We should make posters and instructional pamphlets. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/34 "2010-05-12T13:48:51Z")
You shouldn’t put down what you do not understand. I have witnessed this soul tie. Indeed, I have captured it on film! You will all wanna offer **kanicbird** an apology [after seeing this.](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmJvqUt1U6M) HALLELUJAH ABRAHAM!!! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/35 "2010-05-12T13:52:57Z")
> [@Captain\_Amazing](#): > > That’s probably true of a lot of the stuff he says. He would be a lot less annoying if he didn’t feel the need to always include the weird religious bullshit in every post he makes. I asked him once, exasperatedly, why the hell half of his posts have a perfectly reasonable, intelligent, worth-reading first half and then the second half is all woo woo crazy bullshit. He responded that he does it on purpose - he knows people wouldn’t read his whackjobbery otherwise. He’s trying to enlighten you by suckering you in. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/36 "2010-05-12T14:23:34Z")
Thanks for the invite back here, haven’t been here in a while. [QUOTE=Big T] Kanicbird’s explanation is very close to what I would use to explain it to a person who does not understand the logical, but the spiritual. It has been my observation that a lot things people call spiritual are the same as things that can be explained psychologically. [/QUOTE] I have found spiritual explanations to be much more complete then the logical/psychologically. It is much more in depth and multi-dimensional, IMHO as advanced as string theory is to high school physics. Giving a more complete picture which helps one see the cause and the solution. But to put what I posted in logical/psychologically terms, a child is open to relationships, to trust someone, as they are learning and want to learn. That can be taken advantage of, someone can force sex upon them, then they learn what a sexual relationship is, a pattern is set, sex puts them in a position of submission, silence, and at the mercy of the molester, the child is just reduced to the receptacle of sex of another and dehumanized. Later, with this pattern set the grown child may want to claim the superior role, and seeks out another child, thus the relationship of the now adult changes to that of the one in power which feels better. And Yes I agree this is not the only outcome, but there will be some effect of that abuse that can manifest in a number of ways, including continue to be a victim, or continuously fighting urges, or diverted into things like alcoholism to hide the pain. In the spiritual those links are clear, not so much in the logical/psychologically, so I do prefer the spiritual explanation, and is the reason I post as such. Thank you **Skald the Rhymer** for this opportunity to clarify and think over a few things, God Bless you greatly! ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/37 "2010-05-12T14:34:48Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > Thank you **Skald the Rhymer** for this opportunity to clarify and think over a few things, God Bless you greatly! [QUOTE=Babblefish] Eat shit, motherfucker!!! [/QUOTE] … ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/38 "2010-05-12T14:49:20Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I have found spiritual explanations to be much more complete then the logical/psychologically. It is much more in depth and multi-dimensional, IMHO as advanced as string theory is to high school physics. Giving a more complete picture which helps one see the cause and the solution. If I wanted to explain to someone…say…how steel is created, I could give them an overview of how it is done – the smelting process of extracting iron from ore, the introduction of nickel, manganese, chromium and others, the quenching process, etc. Now, if I wanted to, I could give it much more depth and make it more multi-dimensional by adding in how the invisible smelting faries flitter through the mix, seperating out the slag and removing impurities. It would certainly add more to the story, but it would suffer the same problem as your spiritual explaination: It has a root of truth, but it’s been polluted with utter bullshit. Understand – making thing up to fit into the holes of your knowledge does _not_ mean those holes are actually filled. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/39 "2010-05-12T14:53:34Z")
**kanicbird** has a thoughtful, perceptive, coherent point there. Hold me … I’m scared … ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117/40 "2010-05-12T15:01:02Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > **kanicbird** has a thoughtful, perceptive, coherent point there. > > Hold me … I’m scared … I don’t hold people when they’re scared, but I will assign some hookerbots to comfort you. Not being sure whether you’re a boy or a girl who likes boys or girls, I sent over a platter. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kanicbird/539117.md?page=3)