# Dear Kenneth Branagh: Please pass the crack pipe. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 24, 2005, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235 "2005-05-24T06:51:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Orual](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/779978/32.png) [@Orual](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orual)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/21 "2005-05-24T17:29:49Z")
> [@Tracy Lord](#): > > “Dude, NINJA SHAKESPEARE!” > > Because seriously. NINJA. SHAKESPEARE. > > (I didn’t mean “pass the crack pipe” in a _bad_ way.) > > …NINJA SHAKESPEARE! This seems more like a pot-fueled Shakespeare idea. You add crack to Shakespeare, you end up with _Titus_. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/22 "2005-05-24T17:52:39Z")
Hmmm. A light romantic comedy, penned in English and featuring characters who are obviously English, yet absurdly set in medieval Japan. My, but this sounds familiar. Methinks Branaugh in trying to pull a fast one, but I’m not fooled. He’s really directing a big screen adaptation of _The Mikado_, but knows he’ll lose funding from all the high-fallutin’ snobs who turn up their noses at such undeserving fluff. So who’s playing Ko-Ko? And BTW, Kevin Kline is (IIRC) the only American actor who has played Hamlet in a major West End production – and received great acclaim for it. ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/23 "2005-05-24T18:21:47Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Pirate Shakespeare, though, would totally rule. 'Round hereabouts they call that _Twelfth Night_, baby! 😉 > [@Fiver](#): > > I’ll chime in with another “So?” So? _So?_ It’s NINJA SHAKESPEARE, my friend! How will this not be the awesomest pseudo-pretentious movie ever made? Just think of how many great stage-to-screen translations there could be made with ninjas. “Oedipus Ninja” “Death of a Ninja” “The Importance of Being a Ninja” “A Ninja Named Desire” “The Philadelphia Ninja” Box office GOLD. Ken Branagh is a (crack-addled) genius. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/24 "2005-05-24T18:41:16Z")
I’m not seeing the pretension here, since you quoted Branagh saying “I’m trying to make Shakespeare accessible and inspire the opposite of reverence.” That lends itself to Ninja Shakespeare more than reverence and pretension do. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/25 "2005-05-24T18:48:39Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > It’s totally ridiculous, that’s why not. I mean, being inspired by Japan in general and Kurosawa in particular, and fusing that inspiration with a totally different genre that you’ve been passionate about all your life, bringing martial arts forms and Japanese-inspired costumes into it? And then not even filming it in Japan, but on a sound-stage at Shepperton, and at non-Japanese locations? Dude, that’s like saying _The Mikado_ is no good because Gilbert got all the details of Japanese culture wrong. Wrong they were indeed, gloriously wrong. Remember, Shakespeare’s pastoral comedies are set in a timeless landscape that has tenuous connections at best to any real historical setting. In _A Winter’s Tale,_ Bohemia as a seacoast, for chrissake! _As You Like It_ is not really set in any particular, real-life French duchy, the Forest of Arden is merely an artistic abstraction of the Ardennes Forest, so what’s wrong with setting it in some abstraction of Japan inhabited by white people? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/26 "2005-05-24T18:52:16Z")
What’s “authentic” when you do Shakespeare, anyway? A truly “authentic” production of _Julius Caesar_ would have the characters wearing Elizabethan hose-and-doublets rather than Roman tunics-and-togas – because that’s how the actors under Shakespeare’s direction would have done it. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/27 "2005-05-24T19:38:19Z")
I just want to know where Adam Sandler fits in. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/28 "2005-05-24T19:42:13Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Dude, that’s like saying _The Mikado_ is no good because Gilbert got all the details of Japanese culture wrong. I’m not entirely sure if you’re in earnest or if you’re running with my lame joke by emulating the way “_Star Wars_ sucks!” “No it doesn’t!” arguments typically go. For the record, I’m looking forward to seeing how Branagh’s _As You Like It_ turns out. I usually enjoy his stuff and this sounds like it could be interesting. (Might be the best thing since _Strange Brew_, eh?) ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/29 "2005-05-24T20:20:18Z")
> [@Orual](#): > > I thought Kline as Nick Bottom was the best part of the recent _Midsummer Night’s Dream_. But then, I don’t think I’ve ever properly understood the ‘modern energy’ complaint. Seriously? I was very surprised by how much I didn’t like him playing Nick Bottom - given how good he is in most films. He brought too damn much pathos to what was supposed to be a funny role. Stanley Tucci was the bright spot in that movie for me. I did think that it was vastly underrated, incidentally. I quite enjoyed the whole film. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/30 "2005-05-24T20:29:48Z")
It sounds like it could be a lot of fun. Let the anal retentives get their hackles up because it’s not set in England (ignoring things like Orson Welles’s modern dress MACBETH or Joseph Papp’s 1898 “Much Ado” or Ian McKellan’s 1930s “Richard III” – all find Shakespeare adaptations). Branagh has some some of the best adaptation of Shakespeare on film (and his Frankenstein was absolutly brilliant) and I’m sure he could pull it off again. God forbid you use your imagination about something. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/31 "2005-05-24T20:30:27Z")
As long has Branagh has Kevin Kline in the cast, I personally thing that Kline would make a better Touchstone than Branagh himself. I guess when you are the director, you get the best part for yourself. Sweetums (who got to play Touchstone in college) ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/32 "2005-05-24T20:33:25Z")
Dude, this has got to rock one way or another. I mean, either glorious art or total MST3K. Either way, it’s on my must-see. Now, what play would you adapt for Pirate Shakespeare? ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/33 "2005-05-24T21:39:27Z")
I’m looking forward to this, and I speak as someone who thought _Tromeo & Juliet_ was one of the best Shakespeare adaptations of the last two decades. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/34 "2005-05-24T21:47:15Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Seriously? I was very surprised by how much I didn’t like him playing Nick Bottom - given how good he is in most films. He brought too damn much pathos to what was supposed to be a funny role. …which made him the only actor I’ve seen who actually made something of Bottom’s last speech. Everybody else tries to make a quick, confused joke out of it and it never works. ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/35 "2005-05-24T22:23:25Z")
> [@E-Sabbath](#): > > Now, what play would you adapt for Pirate Shakespeare? They could finally do “Romeo and Juliet” as “Romeo and Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter” – the way it was meant to be done! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/36 "2005-05-24T23:10:32Z")
I’ll grant Branaugh this: a Japanese-influenced adaptation has the potential for some interesting variants of the drag elements of the play (the theatricality of Noh drama, red-light-district geisha girls, etc.) Although the prospect of Western actors donning the whiteface makes my brain hurt. Or is Branaugh planning a _contemporary_ Japanese spin on it? ---
**Author:** ![Tracy\_Lord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@Tracy\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tracy_Lord)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/37 "2005-05-24T23:31:40Z")
> [@42fish](#): > > They could finally do “Romeo and Juliet” as “Romeo and Ethel, the Pirate’s Daughter” – the way it was meant to be done! Oh, you purists. :rolleyes: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/38 "2005-05-24T23:40:24Z")
> [@Orual](#): > > I thought Kline as Nick Bottom was the best part of the recent _Midsummer Night’s Dream_. But then, I don’t think I’ve ever properly understood the ‘modern energy’ complaint. Yeah, I really can’t explain it. I just expect him, at any moment, to break character and order a half caf low-fat caramel machiatto or something. Something about the cadence and pacing of his speech and the movement of his body just screams “stage actor circa 1990.” I know it’s irrational, but I can’t figure out any other reason why I love his contemporary work, and get lost in his modern characters, but the period ones might as well have a flashing neon sign pointing to him reading **KEVIN KLINE! LOOK! IT’S KEVIN KLINE OVER HERE!!! IT’S THE FISH CALLED WANDA DUDE!!!\>\>\>\>** ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/39 "2005-05-24T23:49:46Z")
> [@RealityChuck](#): > > Let the anal retentives get their hackles up because it’s not set in England (ignoring things like Orson Welles’s modern dress MACBETH . . . 😕 I saw Welles’ film version of _Macbeth_ and it was in a Dark Age setting with Dark Age costumes. Are you referring to a staged version? ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2005, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235/40 "2005-05-24T23:52:23Z")
> [@The Scrivener](#): > > Or is Branaugh planning a _contemporary_ Japanese spin on it? If I lived in modern Japan, I know **I’d** want to run for the woods! 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kenneth-branagh-please-pass-the-crack-pipe/305235.md?page=3)