# Dear Kim Jong-Il, Dr. Evil called and he told you to back off **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 13, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922 "2003-05-13T12:02:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RobbieFal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c5a1d2/32.png) [@RobbieFal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobbieFal)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/1 "2003-05-13T12:02:23Z")
via the Moonie Times: _North Korea’s military fired a laser in March at two U.S. Army helicopters patrolling the demilitarized zone separating the two Koreas in what U.S. officials call a provocative action, The Washington Times has learned._ [http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030513-47005.htm](http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030513-47005.htm) I mean… come on North Korea… just because your leader has the entire Bond set on videotape doesn’t mean you have to act like a Bond villain. Maybe the “Dear Leader” (or the Dear Munchkin Leader) just wants to direct his own reality TV show with his country and the US. whatever happened, be sure that North Korea will deny it ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/2 "2003-05-13T12:07:56Z")
I presume the article is a sensationalization of North Koreans painting a US helo with a laser targeting system? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/3 "2003-05-13T12:17:58Z")
Not that the Reverend Sun Myung Moon doesn’t have a pro-South-Korean agenda… but still, old Kim Jong Illin’ and Chillin’ has also just given us [this](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/3022725.stm): > [@](#): > > Pyongyang on Monday described a 1992 agreement with Seoul to keep the Korean peninsula nuclear-free as a “dead document”, nullified because of America’s hostile policy towards the North. > > It was the last of North Korea’s legal obligations to keep itself free of nuclear weapons, after it pulled out of the global nuclear arms control treaty, the NPT, earlier this year. > > North Korea continued its rhetorical offensive on Tuesday, saying that it would boost its defences “to destroy aggressors at a single stroke”. Watch this space… could get a bit tricky. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/4 "2003-05-13T14:59:23Z")
“I call it ‘The Alan Parsons Project.’” ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/5 "2003-05-13T16:16:34Z")
What I love is how the State Department and others say that Kim’s _not_ crazy. This is a guy who’s let millions of his own people starve to death, has something like the entire population wearing buttons which tell everyone else how much Kim likes that particular person, is building up his military at the expense of the civilian population, is building nuclear weapons, and is trying to get into a pissing contest with the most powerful nation on Earth, and he’s **not** crazy? This must be some use of the word “sane” that I’m not familiar with. Because as far as I’m concerned, anyone willing to do all of that, fits perfectly into my definition of “stark raving mad!” ---
**Author:** ![Tenspace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/50afbb/32.png) [@Tenspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenspace)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/6 "2003-05-13T16:22:12Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by RobbieFal \* \*\*via the Moonie Times: _North Korea’s military fired a laser in March at two U.S. Army helicopters patrolling the demilitarized zone separating the two Koreas in what U.S. officials call a provocative action, The Washington Times has learned._ Was this ia shark-mounted laser, or one enclosed in quotes? Tenspace ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/7 "2003-05-13T16:31:19Z")
But is _he_ actually nuts, though? After all, he’s only recently inherited the mantle. Does it run in the family, or are the individuals involved actually sane _in context_, but the situation in which they’re operating is mad? I mean, according to the state newspapers, wherever the Dear Leader goes, rainbows spontaneously appear, and he hits at least 9 holes-in-one every time he plays golf. This is a country that survives on food parcels from _China_. I think I’ve just coined a phrase: State Psychosis. ---
**Author:** ![Tars\_Tarkas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Tars\_Tarkas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tars_Tarkas)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/8 "2003-05-13T17:23:58Z")
Don’t worry, soon Bush will invade Syria and this problem will be solved… ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/9 "2003-05-13T19:31:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Two Apache attack helicopters were illuminated by lasers in early March by a weapon that had the characteristics of a Chinese laser gun, an indication that North Korea has deployed a new and potentially lethal weapon. What the fuck is a “Chinese laser gun”? ---
**Author:** ![rjung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/45deac/32.png) [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/10 "2003-05-13T19:48:18Z")
A laser gun that speaks Cantonese, I’d wager. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/11 "2003-05-13T20:08:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*What the fuck is a “Chinese laser gun”? \*\* I had one of those when I was a kid. It was made out clear moulded plastic, and when you pulled the trigger, it shot sparks and went “VZZZZzzzz! VZZZZzzzz!” It broke after about two weeks. Somehow, I’m less than terrified. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/12 "2003-05-13T20:52:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*What the fuck is a “Chinese laser gun”? \*\* It shoots MSG. ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/13 "2003-05-13T21:14:50Z")
There are lasers used to blind pilots (causing retinal damage), aren’t there? Perhaps this is what they’re talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/14 "2003-05-13T21:15:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*What the fuck is a “Chinese laser gun”? \*\* Ahhh, the **Washington Times**. The paper that fish refuse to be wrapped in. According to what the article says, a _Chinese laser gun_ is a weapon which can permanently damage/blind a person at a distacne of up to 3 miles, by using a special type of laser. Now that’s all well and good, but I can’t believe that you can zero in on someone’s **eyes** from 3 miles away, even with the high powered scopes that the military uses. Add in the fact that your target will most likely be moving, making it even harder to lock in and this sounds like yet another case of the **Times** hyping something beyond any and all reasonable bounds, simply 'cause Rev. Moon is desperate for the Apocalypse to start. ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/15 "2003-05-13T21:19:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jjimm \* > **But is _he_ actually nuts, though? After all, he’s only recently inherited the mantle. Does it run in the family, or are the individuals involved actually sane _in context_, but the situation in which they’re operating is mad? I mean, according to the state newspapers, wherever the Dear Leader goes, rainbows spontaneously appear, and he hits at least 9 holes-in-one every time he plays golf. This is a country that survives on food parcels from _China_.** His dad died about 10 years ago. And yeah, I think he’s got some mental problems. whetehr it gets into the crazy area is another question altogether. It is known that Kim has a vast collection of pornography, including some 8,000 videos, he has/had a “_harem_” and that he has been treated at least 10 times for various and sundry social diseases. ---
**Author:** ![LeeshaJoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e8cbc/32.png) [@LeeshaJoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LeeshaJoy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/16 "2003-05-13T21:48:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*It shoots MSG. \*\* “OW! My stomach lining!” ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/17 "2003-05-13T21:49:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tenspace \* > Was this a shark-mounted laser, or one enclosed in quotes? Sorry, they were out of sharks at the Evil Overlord Pet Store. But they were having a sale on sea bass, so we got twice as many. ---
**Author:** ![RobbieFal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c5a1d2/32.png) [@RobbieFal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RobbieFal)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/18 "2003-05-13T22:03:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Payton’s Servant \* > \*\*His dad died about 10 years ago. > > And yeah, I think he’s got some mental problems. whetehr it gets into the crazy area is another question altogether. > > It is known that Kim has a vast collection of pornography, including some 8,000 videos, he has/had a “_harem_” and that he has been treated at least 10 times for various and sundry social diseases. \*\* So… what’s the over/under on “The Director” dying of an STD here? but KCNA.co.jp is weird… “Anecdote about Kim Jong Il Pyongyang, May 5 (KCNA) - General Secretary Kim Jong Il gave on-the-spot guidance to the newly built syringe factory on December 19, Juche 89 (2000). After looking round its production processes, he said he would take some injectors produced there for test use. A few days later, he met an official and told him that he had got injections with the syringes and some of them had pained him. And he said that the pain might be caused by needles, so efforts should be directed to improving the quality of needles for people and servicemen.” is Kim Jong-il doing heroin or something? ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/19 "2003-05-13T22:13:06Z")
The use of [blinding lasers](http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/local/91763_navy18.shtml) is not something new. (That link describes the apparent use of a laser by the Russian crewmen of a suspected spy boat against a Canadian helicopter crew.) Personally, I think Kim Jong-Il is as sane as can possibly be. His country’s been listed among the “Axis of Evil”, and the U.S. seems to want to bomb each of them. From his point of view, the U.S. is intent on war, and all the “nutty” stuff he’s been doing lately makes much more sense if you think about it that way. As has been remarked many times in the media, it’s going to take Bush some doing to explain why Iraq was a threat (especially with no "WMD"s to date), and North Korea is not, 'cause until he does, I don’t see why Kim Jong-Il is going to feel he can settle down. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922/20 "2003-05-13T22:35:00Z")
Good stuff on the blinding lasers. Lets hope nobody ever incorporates them into a bra. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-kim-jong-il-dr-evil-called-and-he-told-you-to-back-off/174922.md?page=2)