# Dear lying old biddy: thank you for your concern! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 14, 2003, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531 "2003-01-14T16:28:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/41 "2003-01-15T15:53:50Z")
So I pops into SDMB looking for a bit of comic relief to ease my dreary wednesday, and find this thread. Success. Thanks all, with particular appreciation to LouisB for: > [@](#): > > If it gets to be 20 below in Seminole, Florida, the terrorists have already won. Marcie and I alternate between wanting a puppy and a ferret. I want the puppy; Marcie wants the ferret. I expect we will compromise and get a ferret. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/42 "2003-01-15T16:07:51Z")
Wow! Do the ferrets know they’re illegal? Actually, we have quite a big problem here in the OKC with illegal ferrets. They drive on the wrong side of the street, shout “Fire!” in crowded movie theaters, have held up several liquor stores (stong little buggers!), and are being investigated for voter fraud. Our “Ferret Czar,” ex-Govenor Keating once said in an interview with me, “I thought the restraining order was in effect! Now, go away! Police!” I had proof to show him that ferrets were importing stale bread crumbs for use in salads, AKA croutons, and as such was the case, they were responsible for the increase in meth labs in Warr Acres. (Hi, Joe K.) Won’t someone please think of the ferrets? On another tangent, if we _did_ spade and neuter all the cats and dogs, then they would cease to exist as a species after this last generation. So… Bob Barker actualy hates cats and dogs, and wants to rid the world of them. Did I mention anything about ferrets yet? I have a bag of burning puppies, and four wives. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/43 "2003-01-15T16:09:24Z")
No no no!!! Don’t SPADE your cats and dogs! shovels work so much better! ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/44 "2003-01-15T16:30:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by NoClueBoy \* > \*\*On another tangent, if we _did_ spade and neuter all the cats and dogs, then they would cease to exist as a species after this last generation. So… Bob Barker actualy hates cats and dogs, and wants to rid the world of them. > \*\* Dude, when you come up with a plan for spa **y** ing and neutering all cats and dogs, let us humane societies know. We’ll do a half-ass job of implementing the plan, and cut wayy down on our euthanasia rates. My favorite Bob Barker line is from the Brunching Shuttlecock’s [Legion of Doom Ratings:](http://www.brunching.com/legionofdoom.html) > [@](#): > > Bizarro > How can you not like Bizarro? Him do the opposite of normal people! Him only able to order Egg McMuffin after 10:30 AM! Him criticize iMac for having too many floppy drives! I only wish there Bizarro versions of everyone, starting with Bizarro Bob Barker, who would end “The Price Am Wrong” by saying “Remember, everyone, let your pets fuck all they want!” A Daniel ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/45 "2003-01-15T16:37:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*IIRC ferrets are illegal in NYC. > > Isn’t that bizarre? \*\* _Ssshhhhh._ To the best of my knowledge, ferrets are only outlawed in two _states_: California and Hawaii. Hawaii (rightfully, IMO) fears that the introduction of non-native species can bring diseases native species are unable to cope with. California’s position is silly and unfounded - the wild animal theory. Good ol’ Rudy G bullied NYC into the same stance. NYC and several other local governments can and do restrict ferret ownership. **Opal** , you have to train them young (and accept that even the best trained ones sometimes will still have ‘accidents’). Ferrets will often go to the bathroom soon after exiting their cage (assuming they’re caged when no one is around, which is best). Hold them until they are ready to go, then place them in the out of cage litter pan and keep them there until they go. You might try ‘priming’ the litter pan with a little dirty litter from the cage litter pan, so they know what they are supposed to do there. Reward them when they do (I use raisins). Repeat daily. Hopefully, soon they will go into the litterbox just to get their raisin. Also, find where they are going and either place one of their blankets and/or some bitter apple there. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/46 "2003-01-15T16:39:34Z")
Dude! I made people laugh by not spelling well! Yeay! 😃 Now, if only I could be _intentionally_ funny… ftr, I’ve had a problem with that ever since that Gallahger (sp?) bumper sticker. ( _I [spade] My Dog_, in the format of _I [heart] NY_) ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/47 "2003-01-15T18:51:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by OpalCat \* > \*\*Regarding ferrets… I love them to bits. However, they pooped everywhere! Little bastards wouldn’t use the box. (and yes, it was in the corner) If I get ferrets again in the future some day… any tips? \*\* We had a similar problem with ours. Not only would she refuse to use the litterpan, she would try to tip it over if we didn’t keep it tied down. We eventually gave up and got a cage in which the entire bottom could be a litterpan (similar to [this one](http://www.petsmart.com/small%5Fanimal/shopping/the%5Fferret%5Fshop/habitats%5Fand%5Fcages/products/product%5F16019.shtml)). We also keep her tied to the cage when she’s out, keeps her out of trouble and she can go in the cage when necessary. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/48 "2003-01-15T18:56:35Z")
BTW: it wasn’t a case of our ferret not being trained when young. We’ve had her ever since she was five weeks old. She just did _not_ want to be told where she can and cannot relieve herself. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/49 "2003-01-15T20:04:18Z")
They didn’t have them “back in my day” but I’ve seen that now they have corner litter boxes that have a big tall side in the corner! Keeps those squirt-poops off the wall 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Michael\_Ellis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/977dab/32.png) [@Michael\_Ellis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Michael_Ellis)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2003, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/50 "2003-01-15T23:45:28Z")
I _[club]_ my seal. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/51 "2003-01-16T00:59:33Z")
**Jeff Olsen,** Marcie and I own one of those cages you provided a link for. It folds down quite nicely for traveling with your ferret(s) and sets up quickly and easily. IIRC, it was a little expensive, but well worth it. We also own a two-story cage that does not break down, a somewhat smaller wire cage, a more conventional animal transport cage and a cardboard box our ferret liked to ride in. I gave away the rabbit hutch and acted surprised when Marcie asked what happened to it. The ferret hated it and went nuts whenever he was put in it, but she thought the next ferret might like it. Marcie has a thing about keeping old stuff—maybe I should be grateful. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/52 "2003-01-16T01:17:54Z")
> [@](#): > > A single ferret is a satan-spawn creature from the deepest depths of hell. _ **POING!! POINGPOINGPOINGPOING!!!** _ [sub]Aw, there’s GOT to be another Sluggite around . . .[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/53 "2003-01-16T08:22:41Z")
Oh, there’s always another sluggite around Andros, but wouldn’t Bunbun fit that description better? ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2003, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531/54 "2003-01-16T17:35:09Z")
Gary - Well, yes and no…Kiki can be hell on wheels when she’s encouraged to be. Or has too much sugar. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lying-old-biddy-thank-you-for-your-concern/148531.md?page=2)