# Dear Lynn "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child" Bodoni: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752 "2011-11-03T16:12:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/1 "2011-11-03T16:12:55Z")
I haven’t commented in the [Aransas Cty (TX) judge beats daughter for downloading from the Internet (2004 incident)](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=629940) thread because pretty much anything I can think to say about that terrible situation has been said at least a dozen times already. Awful as that video was, the part that really made me go :eek: was this quote: > [@Aransas Cty (TX) judge beats daughter for downloading from the Internet (2004 incident)](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aransas-cty-tx-judge-beats-daughter-for-downloading-from-the-internet-2004-incident/601577/59): > > However, the girl seems to be deliberately setting him up. She knows what will set him off, she sets up a scenario where she can film him, and she’s determined to get the most abuse possible…part of the reason why he goes to extremes is that she’s done this before, and now she refuses to agree not to do it again. > > (snip) > > He probably should have taken away computer privileges. But she’s unrepentant, and she’s determined to do it again, apparently. This is NOT the first time she’s done it. When she downloads games and music illegally, she’s exposing the computer to trojans and viruses, and she’s risking legal problems, too. I’d be a hell of a lot more sympathetic if this was her first offense. But apparently she ignores everything else. Teens can be incredibly stubborn. I wonder if she’d already been grounded from the computer, or what other disciplinary measures had been taken. Perhaps she should have just been shipped off to one of those “troubled teen” camps? > > (snip) > > I’m not saying that he’s right. What I’m saying is that while I do see an abused teen, I also see an incredibly stubborn teen who is determined to continue her illegal activities, without regard as to the consequences. Keep in mind we’re talking here about a teenage girl downloading music and stuff on the internet, not a kitten-raping, nun-murdering teenage crack ho doing the Eric Cartman “Whatevah! Whatevah! Ah do what ah want!” routine. She WANTED to be screamed at and beaten with a belt? She’s such a stubborn little she-ass that, oh, I don’t know, taking the computer away isn’t sufficient punishment? Ripping off the RIAA and potentially getting a computer virus from warez sites are such egregious offenses that she DESERVES to be beaten with a belt, crying and cowering and/or shipped off to a “brat camp”??? I saw a reality show about those camps a few years ago, and that’s where they send gangbangers, drug dealers, violent criminals, and prostitutes, not kids who illegally download the Billboard Top 40 or ROM hacks, fer fuck’s sake. Are you wearing some kind of special stupid goggles or something? Did Fundamentally Oral Bill hack your account? I’m not the only one moved to wonder if someone else is using your account (witness this ATMB thread: [Is someone unauthorized using Lynn Bodoni’s account?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=630060)) just because it seems to come nowhere. And how does the illustrious Ms. Bodoni justify her words? With this jewel: > [@](#): > > A lot of non-parents vow to never physically discipline their kids. Then, they have kids. If they keep their vow, they usually end up with out of control kids who will do as they damn well please. It’s VERY easy to say that you would never do something in a certain situation, until you’ve been in that situation. Funny thing, barring the occasional spank on the fanny as a toddler, neither my mother nor my father ever raised a hand to me or any of my siblings, and oddly enough none of us are sociopathic misfits. None of my friends growing up were ever beaten by their parents, and \*mirabile dictu \*not a single one of them ever showed up on _America’s Most Wanted._ The troublemakers I went through school with tended to be the ones whose parents didn’t really give a fuck what they did or didn’t do. And the hits just keep on coming: > [@](#): > > No, he shouldn’t have beaten her like to that extent. But I know a LOT of kids who would simply shrug off groundings and non-physical discipline. The ONLY thing that affected their behavior was getting physically disciplined. I was lucky enough that my daughter was pretty obedient. So, the options are either grounding/ no computer time, or beating a teenager black and blue while screaming for them to submit. Right. Gotcha. Yes, you were lucky, lucky you aren’t the one facing public shame and legal trouble for child abuse. There are others in that thread who don’t think the punishment was over the top, and they’re at least attempting to justify the way they think. You, madam, bailed as soon as the vast majority turned against you. So let me recap: teenager downloading illegal stuff off the internet gets thrashed by her own father. According to Bodoni, said thrashing is warranted (well, maybe not that hard :rolleyes: )because obviously she hadn’t learned her lesson and was pushing Daddy’s buttons and teenagers don’t learn unless they’re physically punished. Now that you’ve got your very own thread, care to explain A) is this the real you? and if so, B) you’re a sad, scary woman. ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/2 "2011-11-03T16:18:06Z")
Like I said in that thread, WE would do somethng about it. It would not be pleasant if he did not heed the “invitation” to get the hell out. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/3 "2011-11-03T16:37:52Z")
Yup, that’s pretty disturbing. I seem to remember another poster telling me something similar a couple of years ago when I talked about not hitting my future kids - maybe it was **Lynn** then too. It’s pretty brutal to hear that attitude when you’ve been on the receiving end of abuse. It’s always the kid’s fault. If they weren’t so difficult, if they would just behave and admit what a selfish, spoiled, irresponsible child they are… well we just wouldn’t have to resort to such extreme measures, would we? Kids can be so manipulative, you know. Not that I ever suffered beatings like this poor kid. But there was enough violence growing up that I find this attitude personally repellant. And yes, it happened over and over and over again and by the 1,000th time you just stop caring. Once when my Mom threatened to send me to the hospital by hitting me over the head with a glass bottle, I damn near shouted, ‘‘Do it, bitch! Then maybe someone will get a clue how fucked up your parenting skills are.’’ I said nothing, because I thought there was a chance I might die. But that was basically the only thing really keeping me from provoking her and blowing the lid off of the whole thing. Parents want respect. Respect is something you earn. That girl AFAIC has every right not to respect her father. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/4 "2011-11-03T16:39:32Z")
Ever since **Diogenes the Cynic** has been banned, I feel like **Lynn** is getting sucked into the void that he left like so much fluid rushing to the site of an infected cystectomy. But maybe that’s just me. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/5 "2011-11-03T16:42:35Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Ever since **Diogenes the Cynic** has been banned, I feel like **Lynn** is getting sucked into the void that he left like so much fluid rushing to the site of an infected cystectomy. > > But maybe that’s just me. Yeah, but **Dio** would never condone violence against children. Damn it, I do miss that bastard. ---
**Author:** ![miss\_elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/838e76/32.png) [@miss\_elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/miss_elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/6 "2011-11-03T16:43:34Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Ever since **Diogenes the Cynic** has been banned, I feel like **Lynn** is getting sucked into the void that he left like so much fluid rushing to the site of an infected cystectomy. > > But maybe that’s just me. God knows I’m not Dio’s biggest fan (I kept him on ignore), but he would have never said something like that. It isn’t fair to say that when it isn’t true and he cannot defend himself. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/7 "2011-11-03T16:43:36Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yeah, but **Dio** would never condone violence against children. Tru 'nuff. But it’s the posting style I am noticing, not so much the content. She’s always been a bit opinionated she just is ramping it up lately. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/8 "2011-11-03T16:49:15Z")
> [@ugly ripe tomato](#): > > I’m not the only one moved to wonder if someone else is using your account (witness this ATMB thread: [Is someone unauthorized using Lynn Bodoni’s account?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=630060)) just because it seems to come nowhere. For the record, I did not start that thread to complain about **Lynn** as an admin; in fact, I’d forgotten she is one. I honestly thought at the time that someone was pulling a Hal Briston on her. I thought the mods should know about an issue **Lynn** might not be aware of until hours or days later. I would have done the same if a non-mod/admin had been posting seemingly out of character. But on further reflection, it appears she was not posting out of character. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/9 "2011-11-03T16:54:22Z")
> [@](#): > > A lot of non-parents vow to never physically discipline their kids. Then, they have kids. If they keep their vow, they usually end up with out of control kids who will do as they damn well please. The absolute worst parents I’ve ever known were the ones who said this. There’s something about the attitude of "I’d like to not hit them, but they’re just so _bad_ that brings out the worst in people. I imagine it’s what the father wass thinking when he went to get the other belt because his wife had taken the first one away from him. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/10 "2011-11-03T17:48:03Z")
I just want to respond to the idea that the daughter knew that downloading from kazaa would set him off. As a child of a violent lunatic, you don’t know what specific thing is going to set them off, just that something will. It’s not about the music downloading, it’s about the fact that the abuser is a self-hating piece of shit. All that girl had to do was set up a camera and wait, dad was bound to lose his shit over something and beat the crap out of her. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/11 "2011-11-03T17:52:13Z")
> [@saoirse](#): > > The absolute worst parents I’ve ever known were the ones who said this. There’s something about the attitude of "I’d like to not hit them, but they’re just so _bad_ that brings out the worst in people. Or the people who say, “Sometimes you need to give them a little swat; it’s the only thing that gets their attention” without acknowledging that what they’re doing is not a ‘little swat’ by any stretch of the imagination. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/12 "2011-11-03T17:56:04Z")
Two things: 1. This wasn’t physical discipline. This was a violent beating. I don’t understand why some people, including **Lynn** , don’t seem to see the difference. 2. PLENTY of parents raising their children to be functional adults without belt-whipping them. In fact, plenty of parents raise their children to be functional adults without more physical discipline than a swat on the fanny when the child is too young to “get” time-outs and other non-physical disciplines. This canard of “you gotta beat 'em to raise 'em up right!” needs to DIAF. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/13 "2011-11-03T18:00:46Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > For the record, I did not start that thread to complain about **Lynn** as an admin; in fact, I’d forgotten she is one. I honestly thought at the time that someone was pulling a Hal Briston on her. I thought the mods should know about an issue **Lynn** might not be aware of until hours or days later. I would have done the same if a non-mod/admin had been posting seemingly out of character. But on further reflection, it appears she was not posting out of character. :dubious: I know why you started your thread, Rilchiam, and I wondered the same thing when I saw her posts. From what I had seen of Lynn it seemed out of character. That’s why I didn’t post this thread until today, because with my luck I’d barge in flaming her and there’d be a simulpost aong the lines of “sorry, folks, forgot to logout and some troll posted under my name.” By now, however, I’m thinking she meant it ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/14 "2011-11-03T18:05:06Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I just want to respond to the idea that the daughter knew that downloading from kazaa would set him off. As a child of a violent lunatic, you don’t know what specific thing is going to set them off, just that something will. > > It’s not about the music downloading, it’s about the fact that the abuser is a self-hating piece of shit. All that girl had to do was set up a camera and wait, dad was bound to lose his shit over something and beat the crap out of her. A-fucking-men to that. One of my sisters was engaged to an abusive asshole who at one point slapped her in the face and just about screamed her ears off. Her offense? She cut her hair without asking him first :smack: Maybe if his parents had beat him more as a teenager he wouldn’t have been so fucked in the head :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/15 "2011-11-03T18:09:46Z")
Her posts were nauseating and frankly, deeply insulting. I worked damn hard to raise my now teen kids. Hitting (even as toddlers) was never on the table. They are great kids that we get compliments on often- but they weren’t born angels. My son was tough, actually. So we parented them: slow, time consuming, patience testing, parenting. No hitting needed. Justify needing to hit your kid (thank god she was obedient, huh) all you want, but don’t pretend to me that it’s because it was your only option. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/16 "2011-11-03T18:15:46Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Ever since **Diogenes the Cynic** has been banned, I feel like **Lynn** is getting sucked into the void that he left like so much fluid rushing to the site of an infected cystectomy. > > But maybe that’s just me. Whoa, wait… **Dio** was BANNED? Permanently? I need to get out more. I was wondering where he was after his suspension ended…saw him around here and there, then **poof** …gone. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/17 "2011-11-03T18:22:35Z")
He was, permanently. [Ban announcement here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=624354) [Commentary thread here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=624359) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/18 "2011-11-03T18:25:11Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Whoa, wait… **Dio** was BANNED? Permanently? I need to get out more. I was wondering where he was after his suspension ended…saw him around here and there, then **poof** …gone. I’m getting a chuckle heating that in Kevin Spacey’s voice from _The Usual Suspects_. But yeah I wish Dio would get a temporary reinstatement for that thread. He would go to town. Unleash the Dio! ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/19 "2011-11-03T18:30:26Z")
> [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > I worked damn hard to raise my now teen kids. Hitting (even as toddlers) was never on the table. They are great kids that we get compliments on often- but they weren’t born angels. My son was tough, actually. **So we parented them: slow, time consuming, patience testing, parenting.** No hitting needed. (bolding mine) Very, very true. Parenting without physical discipline is slow, time consuming, and patience testing. And it’s the right thing to do. People who defend physical discipline IMHO are just lazy. “Why take 5 minutes to put them in a 5 minute time-out when I can just smack em’ in 2 seconds?” ---
**Author:** ![White\_Unicorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d26b3c/32.png) [@White\_Unicorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/White_Unicorn)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2011, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/20 "2011-11-03T18:37:34Z")
I’m not for abuse, but every single one of my friends that weren’t punished with physical discipline ended up being wild and out of control. My parents administered physical discipline and we were polite, respectable kids because of it. It’s true that for some kids, this is the only thing they’ll respond to. I think it has something to do with having some kind of authority when a kid doesn’t care if they take things away, ground him/her, etc. Being a young adult today, I thank my parents for raising me this way. It wasn’t American Beauty discipline, but I’ve definitely had the belt in the rear and tree switches. Soap in the mouth was the worst, but I didn’t start cursing til I was in 7th grade. Which is pretty much unheard of today. It’s really sad hearing first graders calling each other fuckers on a bus. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752.md?page=2)