# Dear Lynn "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child" Bodoni: **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 3, 2011, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752 "2011-11-03T16:12:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/141 "2011-11-06T04:02:19Z")
Curlcoat on parenting. Who’d a thunk it. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/142 "2011-11-06T04:19:43Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Where did **White Unicorn** say anything about beating kids? > > Where is this “beating” thing coming from? Do you assume that physical interaction has to be a beating? Shoot, I’d think the most common thing one would think of when told a child was “physically disciplined” was a spanking - do you think a spanking is a beating?? You’re playing a semantical game; I refuse to participate. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/143 "2011-11-06T04:40:18Z")
I abuse cats. When my cats get up on the counters, I spray them with water. Once I tossed a bowl of water at my very favorite cat. If I had posted about that, and the guilt I felt when the bowl hit him, I think nobody would have had supportive things to say. (abusing cats includes having them vetted, fixed and making them learn how to live in a house) ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/144 "2011-11-06T12:40:32Z")
Well, we got another opportunity to see that Curlcoat’s debating style consists of being contrary and shouting “I’m not part of the group think”! Because she has nothing to learn, need never change her mind and and the majority is never right on any topic. What a disingenuous waste. ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/145 "2011-11-06T13:13:14Z")
> [@FoieGrasIsEvil](#): > > Did children from the bygone, often romanticized era of what is now classified as abuse behave any better because they got “taken to the woodshed”, had to “pick their switch” or were beaten with a belt? Honest question. It’s only answering in an off beat way, but my grandmother would say to her children (including my father) “Go and get me a belt, I need to give you a hiding.” He thought she was an old bitch. (Mind you he thought her mother was worse- and she probably was). ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/146 "2011-11-06T22:04:23Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > You’re playing a semantical game; I refuse to participate. A _semantics game???_ Are you honestly saying that you think physical interaction with a misbehaving child _must_ mean it got a beating? Or do you not understand what semantics means? > [@IvoryTowerDenizen](#): > > ``` > Well, we got another opportunity to see that Curlcoat's debating style consists of being contrary and shouting "I'm not part of the group think"! > > ``` Well, I haven’t been shouting but you bet your ass I’m not part of the group think in here WRT raising of children. It amazes me that you all cannot see the kind of adults the “hands off, talk therapy” method of child rearing is producing, but that will be far more your problem than mine. Bed, made, lie and all that. > [@](#): > > Because she has nothing to learn, need never change her mind and and the majority is never right on any topic. What a disingenuous waste. Wait - you absolutely refuse to see any side to this other than your own and then say _I_ have nothing to learn, see no need to change my mind, etc? BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! As for the majority never being right, I have never said that, but another of your, erm, issues is that you like to make shit up. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/147 "2011-11-06T22:07:11Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I abuse cats. When my cats get up on the counters, I spray them with water. Once I tossed a bowl of water at my very favorite cat. If I had posted about that, and the guilt I felt when the bowl hit him, I think nobody would have had supportive things to say. > > (abusing cats includes having them vetted, fixed and making them learn how to live in a house) Yeah, and I abuse my dogs by training them, crating them in the car and lord knows what else PETA and the average person would call abuse. Some of the more radical ones think I am abusive because I chose the mates for my litters instead of letting them choose each other. :smack: Fortunately, it seems the number of people who think that it is abusive to a cat to make in an indoor only pet seems to be dropping. Something about cause and effect… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/148 "2011-11-06T22:10:21Z")
One of the nice things about curlcoat being allergic to children is that she will never have the opportunity to raise one the way she believes children should be raised. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/149 "2011-11-06T22:13:27Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > One of the nice things about curlcoat being allergic to children is that she will never have the opportunity to raise one the way she believes children should be raised. Yeah, except for the two I did raise. What do you do, hunch over your keyboard waiting for me to post somewhere so you can throw some more mud? ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/150 "2011-11-06T22:28:20Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Yeah, except for the two I did raise. Ah, I get it now. You’re apologizing for beating your children by using the laughable euphemism “physical interaction.” ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/151 "2011-11-06T22:31:47Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Yeah, except for the two I did raise. > What do you do, hunch over your keyboard waiting for me to post somewhere so you can throw some more mud? You raised two children? That’s a real pity. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_Door](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@Bill\_Door](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_Door)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/152 "2011-11-06T22:38:16Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > (snip)Also, once again, physical discipline is not the same thing as assault. Where did you learn that physical interaction must be assault? I go by a simple guideline. If it would be assault if I did it to you in the street, it’s assault if you do it to your child at home. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/153 "2011-11-06T22:42:35Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Ah, I get it now. You’re apologizing for beating your children by using the laughable euphemism “physical interaction.” :rolleyes: I never beat them except perhaps under your definition since they did get the occasional swat to the butt. My father was big on beating kids up, so I do know what abuse is and I didn’t copy it in the slightest. That is probably your problem - you don’t know what actual abuse is. Did you even read post #140? > [@Muffin](#): > > You raised two children? That’s a real pity. Shrug, they turned out just fine despite having me for the major caregiver from birth to about 10 years of age. How many kids have you raised and how did they turn out? Do you agree with **Mince** that physical interaction with a kid must mean they got a beating? > [@Bill Door](#): > > I go by a simple guideline. If it would be assault if I did it to you in the street, it’s assault if you do it to your child at home. Then a swat to the butt of someone you know isn’t assault. However, for the most part, that guideline won’t work, since you are not allowed to put strangers on the street in time outs, tell them to do chores, take away their privileges or any of the other things most parents do with their kids. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/154 "2011-11-06T22:51:27Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > :rolleyes: > > I never beat them except perhaps under your definition since they did get the occasional swat to the butt. Of course you didn’t beat them. You “physically interacted” with them. :rolleyes: For the record, and I’m embarrassed I feel compelled to do this, here is the official definition of beat, in relevant part: [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/beat](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/beat) > [@](#): > > 1 > > : to strike repeatedly: > > a: to hit repeatedly so as to inflict pain —often used with up > > … > > c: to strike directly against forcefully and repeatedly [QUOTE=curlcoat] Did you even read post #140? [/QUOTE] Yes. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/155 "2011-11-06T23:07:43Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Of course you didn’t beat them. You “physically interacted” with them. :rolleyes: > > For the record, and I’m embarrassed I feel compelled to do this, here is the official definition of beat, in relevant part: > > [http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/beat](http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/beat) > > Yes. I am aware of the definition of “beat”, it’s the fact that you think physical interaction/punishment/whatever you want to call it must equal that definition of beat that I cannot wrap my head around. Or that you don’t seem to understand that a swat to the butt doesn’t equal “pain”, “force” or “striking repeatedly”. Or that a physical correction can include such things as picking the kid up and removing him from whatever it is that you don’t like. I hope you don’t have kids. If you do, I hope I never have to suffer in their presence since you don’t appear equipped to deal with them should they act like howler monkeys on crack. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2011, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/156 "2011-11-06T23:15:10Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I am aware of the definition of “beat”, it’s the fact that you think physical interaction/punishment/whatever you want to call it must equal that definition of beat that I cannot wrap my head around. Or that you don’t seem to understand that a swat to the butt doesn’t equal “pain”, “force” or “striking repeatedly”. Or that a physical correction can include such things as picking the kid up and removing him from whatever it is that you don’t like. Please bear in mind the context of the OP, ok? Can you do that? Because that’s my context, not your happy fantasy land “physical interaction.” [QUOTE=curlcoat] I hope you don’t have kids. If you do, I hope I never have to suffer in their presence since you don’t appear equipped to deal with them should they act like howler monkeys on crack. [/QUOTE] And I hope your children never have to see, by reading this statement, what poor character mommy has. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/157 "2011-11-07T00:05:18Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > Please bear in mind the context of the OP, ok? Can you do that? Because that’s my context, not your happy fantasy land “physical interaction.” OK, move the goalposts then - not that you moved them very far, since that is the context of the thread. Everyone here who has a problem with the OP appears to think as you do - touching your kids when they are bad is the same thing as beating them. The OP himself said “So, the options are either grounding/ no computer time, or beating a teenager black and blue while screaming for them to submit”, completely ignoring everything in the middle, including some in the quote he was responding to. It really makes me wonder about the self control issues of people like that. Oh, and physical interaction is not a “happy fantasy land”, it’s called middle ground. Apparently, you don’t understand that concept. > [@](#): > > And I hope your children never have to see, by reading this statement, what poor character mommy has. I wasn’t their mommy, I was their sister, and they are well aware of my views on child raising. However, I have no idea why you would think they would have a problem with that statement, since they don’t like children to act like howler monkeys on crack either. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/158 "2011-11-07T00:25:19Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I wasn’t their mommy, I was their sister, and they are well aware of my views on child raising. However, I have no idea why you would think they would have a problem with that statement, since they don’t like children to act like howler monkeys on crack either. You didn’t raise them. If you had at least one parent that was alive, then you might have helped out, but you didn’t raise them. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/159 "2011-11-07T00:26:20Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > You didn’t raise them. If you had at least one parent that was alive, then you might have helped out, but you didn’t raise them. Really? You were there watching? Amazing assumption going on there. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2011, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752/160 "2011-11-07T00:31:03Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Really? You were there watching? Yes. I was. Actually, I have read other threads where you have posted about this. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-lynn-spare-the-rod-and-spoil-the-child-bodoni/601752.md?page=9)