# Dear McDonalds, please hire a linguist. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 1, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846 "2005-02-01T20:26:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/1 "2005-02-01T20:26:33Z")
So that you don’t put out an ad like the latest flash ad for McDonald’s, which has the text “Double cheeseburger? I’d hit it.” [http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index](http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/simmons/index) I, for example, will quite happily tell you that “I’d hit it” is slang for “I’d fuck that.” Just saying. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/2 "2005-02-01T20:31:22Z")
> [@andygirl](#): > > I, for example, will quite happily tell you that “I’d hit it” is slang for “I’d fuck that.” > > Just saying. Maybe that’s what they _wanted_ to say. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/3 "2005-02-01T20:32:39Z")
That is seriously funny! Just goes to show how out of touch a bunch of old, rich white men can be. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/4 "2005-02-01T20:35:59Z")
they must be going after that coveted Fark demographic. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/5 "2005-02-01T20:40:28Z")
I believe there was an ad for Reebok or some such that featured a guy whose last name was “Felcher.” [Zug.com](http://Zug.com) did a prank where someone called the company and complained. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/6 "2005-02-01T20:41:30Z")
Maybe they’re shooting for a tie-in with American Pie 4: McJob. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/7 "2005-02-01T20:44:14Z")
Now you know what the “special sauce” is. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/8 "2005-02-01T20:48:42Z")
How desperate does someone have to be to look at a _sandwich_ and consider copulating with it? I mean, sure, a watermellon or honeydew I can see, but a hamburger? ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/9 "2005-02-01T20:51:24Z")
“Have it your way” just popped into my head, but I guess that’s B King… ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/10 "2005-02-01T20:52:26Z")
I’m _never_ eating there again. :eek: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/11 "2005-02-01T20:53:30Z")
> [@vetbridge](#): > > How desperate does someone have to be to look at a _sandwich_ and consider copulating with it? I mean, sure, a watermellon or honeydew I can see, but a hamburger? What about canteloupes? You know, just asking. Quit looking at me like that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/12 "2005-02-01T20:57:45Z")
I prefer Wendy’s Hot and Juicy. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/13 "2005-02-01T21:06:48Z")
Hardee’s Thickburger, anyone? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/14 "2005-02-01T21:09:05Z")
Y’know, if you’re looking to have sex with a burger, there’s really only one place to go: In ‘n’ Out. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/15 "2005-02-01T21:09:36Z")
> [@lno](#): > > What about canteloupes? Don’t wanna spoil myself. You know what they say, once you’ve had 'lopes… ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/16 "2005-02-01T21:13:47Z")
Holy cow, this is fucking great. “I’d hit it!” Ah ha ha! I’m picturing a room full of out of touch executives coming up with that one. Is there no one even semi-hip double checking this stuff? ---
**Author:** ![Yamirskoonir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c0e974/32.png) [@Yamirskoonir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yamirskoonir)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/17 "2005-02-01T21:27:48Z")
Anyone remember that catchy “Bust a Nut!” jingle that Cornuts did a while back? That one truly made me go :eek: ! ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/18 "2005-02-01T21:32:04Z")
It’s like a party in my mouth! -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/19 "2005-02-01T21:36:58Z")
Looks like the matter is getting quite a lot of Internet attention: > **[McDonalds Wants You To F\*ck Its Sandwiches](https://andrewteman.typepad.com/worldchamp/2005/01/mcdonalds_wants.html)** > > THIS BLOG AND POST IS MOVING. PLEASE USE THIS LINK INSTEAD This stuff never gets old. Nothing is better than when a giant company makes an attempt to be cool with their marketing, only to do something that is completely... ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [February 1, 2005, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846/20 "2005-02-01T21:47:57Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Y’know, if you’re looking to have sex with a burger, there’s really only one place to go: > > In ‘n’ Out. Jack in the Box ain’t bad a’tall. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-mcdonalds-please-hire-a-linguist/287846.md?page=2)