# Dear Microsoft: How Many Fuckin' Updates Do You Have Per Day?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 13, 2008, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138 "2008-04-13T07:52:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/1 "2008-04-13T07:52:59Z")
OK, I am probably stupid, but I have the automatic “update” control set to “on” and I swear, EVERY FUCKING DAY there are at least five of them! I get my little bubble on the bottom of my computer screen letting know there are yet more updates…so I look them over and every one is yet another “security update”. Seriously, can you hold off a day or two? Can you finally make a damned security update that is, I donno, SECURE for an hour? I suppose I should appreciate the effort, but at this rate, I am going to need 74 million gigs of hard drive just to keep this crap downloading! ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 8:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/2 "2008-04-13T08:06:10Z")
What pisses me off is that they force you to either stay at the computer or face an automatic reboot. The little window comes up saying “automatically rebooting in 5 minutes”. There’s an option for “reboot manually” or something, but when you press it it just gives you an hour or two, if that long, before the stupid thing pops up again. So it doesn’t matter if you have stuff you want to leave open overnight - if you leave your computer on, it’s going to reboot. Stupid, annoying user hating crap. ---
**Author:** ![Lazlo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lazlo/32/9678_2.png) [@Lazlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lazlo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 10:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/3 "2008-04-13T10:30:32Z")
I agree it’s a bit of an inconvenience and I wish XP was less prone to attacks. Fresh installs don’t finish updating for days, it seems. However, I think you’re directing your ire at the wrong people. As someone who has had to clean up machines for my friends and families, if I ever met someone in real life who admitted to writing malware, Very Bad Things would happen. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/4 "2008-04-13T11:08:31Z")
My company pushes down updates a few times a day. Couple that with the disk encryption and they have made my laptop useless. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/5 "2008-04-13T11:56:57Z")
It sounds a bit like one update is failing to install and is being continually re-pushed. Usually they put out their updates in blocks on [Patch Tuesday](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Patch_Tuesday), so continual notifications are generally a sign that something’s going wrong. Try going to the windows update site through IE ([http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com/](http://windowsupdate.microsoft.com/)), run through an update process from there and see what happens (you may have to let it update the updater first). It ought to tell you if a particular update has failed. What you do from there depends a bit on which one it is, I suppose. You can mark particular items to not download, and it’ll stop bugging you about them in future. Or you can download individual patches from the corresponding knowledgebase article sometimes; installing them separately has worked for me in the past. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/6 "2008-04-13T12:28:33Z")
[QUOTE=SenorBeef] What pisses me off is that they force you to either stay at the computer or face an automatic reboot. The little window comes up saying “automatically rebooting in 5 minutes”. There’s an option for “reboot manually” or something, but when you press it it just gives you an hour or two, if that long, before the stupid thing pops up again. So it doesn’t matter if you have stuff you want to leave open overnight - if you leave your computer on, it’s going to reboot. Stupid, annoying user hating crap. [/QUOTE] Or how about the other night when I was trying to shut down the computer because we had thunder and lightning in the area (I use a UPS, but I also don’t like to take chances), and yup, Windows had to install all the updates – SEVEN of them – before it would shut down. It was like Peter in _Office Space_ trying to get out before the boss found him. ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/7 "2008-04-13T14:25:03Z")
[1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] [Get a Macintosh!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bji8AVf_cXM) [/1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/8 "2008-04-13T14:45:56Z")
Now I’m wondering if I’m getting updates that I should be getting, because I can’t remember the last time I had gotten any sort of update notice from Windows. I’m running XP, and I’m pretty sure I have my system set up to automatically check for updates. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/9 "2008-04-13T15:04:29Z")
[QUOTE=DMark] OK, I am probably stupid, but I have the automatic “update” control set to “on” and I swear, EVERY FUCKING DAY there are at least five of them! [/QUOTE] I’m not up on the contents of the paches but it would not shock me if part of it was due to a run of pretty nasty virus/spyware items the last few weeks. We seem to have had a little run on swen worm that the AV stuff would break all executable file associations in the process of pulling it out. Messy, messy stuff ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/10 "2008-04-13T15:17:36Z")
[QUOTE=LurkMeister] Now I’m wondering if I’m getting updates that I should be getting, because I can’t remember the last time I had gotten any sort of update notice from Windows. I’m running XP, and I’m pretty sure I have my system set up to automatically check for updates. [/QUOTE] You may have it set to automatically _download_ and _install_ updates as well. Mine checks automatically for updates, but i have set it so that it will not download or install the updates unless i give my approval. It’s possible to completely automate the process so you never see an update notice, and that might be what your computer is set to do. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/11 "2008-04-13T15:37:15Z")
[QUOTE=phungi] [1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] [Get a Macintosh!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bji8AVf_cXM) [/1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] [/QUOTE] Macintoshes never have updates? To the OP: Turn off updates. Problem solved. ---
**Author:** ![tremorviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@tremorviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tremorviolet)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/12 "2008-04-13T15:50:19Z")
[QUOTE=SenorBeef] What pisses me off is that they force you to either stay at the computer or face an automatic reboot. The little window comes up saying “automatically rebooting in 5 minutes”. There’s an option for “reboot manually” or something, but when you press it it just gives you an hour or two, if that long, before the stupid thing pops up again. So it doesn’t matter if you have stuff you want to leave open overnight - if you leave your computer on, it’s going to reboot. Stupid, annoying user hating crap. [/QUOTE] This happened to me two days ago so I [googled](http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/windows/temporarily-disable-restart-now-dialog-from-xps-automatic-updates/) until I figured out a way to turn it off. Go to your command prompt, type “net stop “automatic updates”” (automatic updates in quotes). It’ll turn off the prompt and force restart but it will still update your computer next time you restart. ---
**Author:** ![kushiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bbce88/32.png) [@kushiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kushiel)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/13 "2008-04-13T18:58:29Z")
[QUOTE=phungi] [1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] [Get a Macintosh!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bji8AVf_cXM) [/1990’s Mac Evangelist Mode] [/QUOTE] Yeah, but at least Windows has never pushed multiple gigs of updates on me at once. My boss was so not happy when he booted up a freshly installed OSX to be bombarded with that many updates… ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/14 "2008-04-13T19:48:55Z")
Apple can go screw. Every time there’s a Quicktime update, they’re pushing out iTunes and Safari with it. At least Microsoft doesn’t send me a bunch of completely unrelated crap. ---
**Author:** ![Raygun99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Raygun99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raygun99)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/15 "2008-04-13T19:55:16Z")
[QUOTE=Scarlett67] Or how about the other night when I was trying to shut down the computer because we had thunder and lightning in the area (I use a UPS, but I also don’t like to take chances), and yup, Windows had to install all the updates – SEVEN of them – before it would shut down. It was like Peter in _Office Space_ trying to get out before the boss found him. [/QUOTE] You should have the option to shut down without installing updates. In the screen where you choose from shutdown, restart or hibernate, if you have a pending update install, there should be a link (in text) below those icons that will let you. ---
**Author:** ![mhendo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mhendo/32/3159_2.png) [@mhendo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mhendo)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/16 "2008-04-13T19:56:05Z")
[QUOTE=fluiddruid] Apple can go screw. Every time there’s a Quicktime update, they’re pushing out iTunes and Safari with it. At least Microsoft doesn’t send me a bunch of completely unrelated crap. [/QUOTE] I hate how having Quicktime requires you to have shitty iTunes on your computer too. And the recent addition of Safari is even more annoying. I get around this by using [Media Player Classic](http://sourceforge.net/projects/guliverkli/) and [Quicktime Alternative](http://www.free-codecs.com/download/quicktime_alternative.htm). Allows me to play .mov files, embedded video, etc. without having iTunes, and without the actual Quicktime software. Quicktime is, like much of Apple’s software, fine on a Mac but pretty crappy on a PC. ---
**Author:** ![SenorBeef](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senorbeef/32/2220_2.png) [@SenorBeef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SenorBeef)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/17 "2008-04-13T22:50:17Z")
[QUOTE=tremorviolet] This happened to me two days ago so I [googled](http://www.howtogeek.com/howto/windows/temporarily-disable-restart-now-dialog-from-xps-automatic-updates/) until I figured out a way to turn it off. Go to your command prompt, type “net stop “automatic updates”” (automatic updates in quotes). It’ll turn off the prompt and force restart but it will still update your computer next time you restart. [/QUOTE] Huh. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2008, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/18 "2008-04-13T23:18:54Z")
Saturday afternoon I downloaded and installed Microsoft’s latest patches and updates. Since then, I’ve been unable to log in to LJ through either Firefox or Internet Explorer, and I keep having to re-login to the Dope. I’m beginning to wonder if it’s a cookie problem, but ZoneAlarm Pro is set to accept cookies from both sites, so I’m baffled. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I’m considering deinstalling those dratted patches. **Edited to Add** : I just shut ZoneAlarm down, and everything works fine. Which means I have to check ZoneAlarm instead. Oh, joy. Oh, rupture. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/19 "2008-04-14T00:34:44Z")
I don’t allow updates, and have not since SP2 nearly destroyed my computer. It means I can’t play any game that requires SP2, but it’s not worth having my computer go snakeshit when I try to download. I’m heavy on the spyware, adware and firewall protection, and prefer to take my chances. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2008, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138/20 "2008-04-14T01:00:13Z")
[QUOTE=fluiddruid] Apple can go screw. Every time there’s a Quicktime update, they’re pushing out iTunes and Safari with it. At least Microsoft doesn’t send me a bunch of completely unrelated crap. [/QUOTE] Preach it, sister. Unchecking those little boxes might give you carpal tunnel syndrome. 😛 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-microsoft-how-many-fuckin-updates-do-you-have-per-day/445138.md?page=2)