# Dear OAOASO **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 5, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412 "2013-08-05T17:22:22Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/1 "2013-08-05T17:22:22Z")
That is OnAgainOffAgainSignificantOther I know in your heart of hearts you really do believe that I am not angry with you. That it’s only because of my living situation that I am pissed off and that I am simply taking it out on you. You are so wrong. I am woman, I can multi-task and yes, I can be angry at more than one person at a time. There is no escape clause. Yes, I really am angry at you. Just as love can expand to encompass all those I love, anger can expand to encompass all those who piss me off. Just as loving person B doesn’t diminish the love for person A, being pissed at person C does not diminish the anger at person D. I have plenty of anger to go around. Maybe, just maybe, if you lost the notion that I am just being bitchy, and understood that I really am angry at you, and maybe, just maybe, if you pulled your head out of your ass and cleaned the shit out of your ears and actually _listened_ to me you’d hear me and understand why I am angry. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry when you said you know I’m not really angry at you, that I’m just taking my frustration out on you, and that you have big shoulders and can take it. In one way it’s kind of sweet, in another, I want to knock your cocky ass down a few pegs. The truth is I am mad at other people and I am frustrated by some shit going on in my life but I am also very very angry at you and when those other people are out of my life and the shit is resolved I will still be angry with you because it has nothing to do with anything else in my life. It has to do with you. I know you’d rather sit in your ignorant bliss and pretend that everything is okay but it’s not and one day when the OAOA becomes a permanent EX don’t say you didn’t see it coming because nobody can be that blind and nobody can be that stupid. Can they? ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/2 "2013-08-05T17:27:38Z")
Well, you’re still with him in this kind of arrangement, no wonder he has his signals mixed. Who wants to go on with this kind of relationship anyway? To paraphrase someone, “Who can be that blind and stupid?” ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/3 "2013-08-05T17:31:33Z")
Do the guy a favor and dump him completely. You may be doing yourself a favor also. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/4 "2013-08-05T23:42:25Z")
> [@MoodIndigo1](#): > > Well, you’re still with him in this kind of arrangement, no wonder he has his signals mixed. Who wants to go on with this kind of relationship anyway? > > To paraphrase someone, “Who can be that blind and stupid?” I think you’ve pretty much nailed it in one. In my opinion (and I could be wrong), I think “On again off again” actually means “we’re not right for each other, but we keep trying to force it.” Your mileage may vary. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2013, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/5 "2013-08-05T23:47:42Z")
I’ve said it before, but this really illustrates it. Your posts read like poetry. I have no relationship advice, sadly. But you’re right- you can actually be mad at two people at once! He doesn’t know your head better than you do! ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/6 "2013-08-06T00:09:52Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > because nobody can be that blind > and nobody can be that stupid. > > Can they? Sure they can. Well, not necessarily stupid so much as completely lacking in self-awareness. My psycho ex has taken to \*insisting \*that he will grant my request to leave me alone forever if I just get back with him for a week first. I think he really believes that right now. Which is why he’s so pissed at me for refusing to do it. And he does the same thing, saying I’m really just mad because of XYZ. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/7 "2013-08-06T00:25:36Z")
Once you get settled in your new place, I hope you are able to take the time to really sit down and decide how you see your relationship with OAOASO. Whatever happens, I just want it to be the best for you. Oh and this… > [@sahirrnee](#): > > Just as love can expand to encompass all those I love, anger can expand to encompass all those who piss me off. is worthy of embroidery on a throw pillow. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MN\_Maenad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e95f7d/32.png) [@MN\_Maenad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MN_Maenad)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2013, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-oaoaso/665412/8 "2013-08-06T15:02:50Z")
Is there any point in reminding you that you’re the one who decides to make it “on again”? Considering that you’re referring to him as OAOA, you’ve gone through this kind of mess before. Maybe you should learn from your mistakes and call it off permanently.