# Dear Penthouse Forum, **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2001, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391 "2001-08-21T18:20:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/41 "2001-08-21T22:25:08Z")
finally have hot ‘n’ nasty monkey sex. She unzipped my pants, reached in, and pulled out my… ---
**Author:** ![BurnMeUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@BurnMeUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BurnMeUp)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/42 "2001-08-21T22:27:31Z")
…show her the benefits of owning a really fine set of encyclopedias. She immediatly grabbed the F volume and asked me if i could help show her how to… ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/43 "2001-08-21T23:23:08Z")
Fry sausage, so i inserted 10" of hard meat into… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/44 "2001-08-21T23:42:14Z")
A hollowed out zucchini, along with some thyme, rosemary and tomatoes… ---
**Author:** ![NothingMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b77776/32.png) [@NothingMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NothingMan)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/45 "2001-08-22T00:29:12Z")
preparing a dish of orgasmic proportions. I looked the blonde deep in her vacant blue-eyes and asked : “Wanna see my iron chef ?” She squealed with pleasure and moaned . . . ---
**Author:** ![Kbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Kbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kbean)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/46 "2001-08-22T01:19:37Z")
No, but why don’t we go into the next room where we can be alone and… ---
**Author:** ![Tyklfe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3e96dc/32.png) [@Tyklfe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tyklfe)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/47 "2001-08-22T01:28:46Z")
…finally start that “learn-at-home hypnosis set”. Before long she and I were… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/48 "2001-08-22T01:32:25Z")
deeply enmeshed in a game of scrabble… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/49 "2001-08-22T02:00:51Z")
I looked at my letters s u d i m y c k c k and wondered what to put down. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/50 "2001-08-22T02:33:09Z")
Alas, my view of the game board was blocked when in front of me passed… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/51 "2001-08-22T02:35:16Z")
the largest sheep I had ever seen… ---
**Author:** ![dentarthurdent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@dentarthurdent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dentarthurdent)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/52 "2001-08-22T02:51:43Z")
a herd of wild goats. The blonde jumped up and began to… ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/53 "2001-08-22T02:57:43Z")
Oh, damn, Lana Lynn, my ofth-thought Beloved! If ever there was a more sheer perfect sweet salutation to the paroxysms of whatever would woolly-be, it might just hope to graze her yonder pastures… Luckily, Lana had more common sense. Until she sensed The Coyote. ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/54 "2001-08-22T02:58:18Z")
Never had a more fierce, but passionate, creature stalked the night. I couldn’t believe when … ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/55 "2001-08-22T12:19:47Z")
He turned to me and introduced himself, saying “Hello, my name is Wiley Coyote, SuperGenius. Have you seen a roadrunner around here?” Seeing a talking coyote caused me to… ---
**Author:** ![headshok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@headshok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/headshok)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/56 "2001-08-22T12:29:34Z")
… have an uncontrollable urge to purchase a product from the ACME online catalog. I logged on, and perused their selection of vibrating… ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/57 "2001-08-22T12:35:43Z")
rocket cars. I ordered one, and seconds later a tall redhead in a tight Acme T-shirt knocked on the door, and said breathlessly… ---
**Author:** ![Cherry\_Blossom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e19b73/32.png) [@Cherry\_Blossom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cherry_Blossom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/58 "2001-08-22T12:44:51Z")
…said, "I have been making deliveries all day and sure could use a drink. So, I poured her some sangria, which in her haste, she spilled down the front of her oh-so-tight t-shirt, exposing her full, ripe… ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/59 "2001-08-22T13:26:00Z")
melons. Watermelons. She had a side job as a fruit delivery gal and had her hands full all day. “Oh, my”, she moaned breathlessly, “let me take wet, tight t-shirt off so we can get this stain out” as she lifted the hem of the shirt over her head and then… ---
**Author:** ![Montfort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Montfort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Montfort)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2001, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391/60 "2001-08-22T13:37:09Z")
… out jumped a talking dog. I was amazed to see it, but I think it was even more amazed to see me, since it said … [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-penthouse-forum/77391.md?page=4)