# Dear ‘pet psychic’ **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 7, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271 "2012-12-07T04:01:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/21 "2012-12-07T18:28:37Z")
> [@Cheshire\_Human](#): > > My cat manages to know which tool I’m going to need, next, and lays on it. I had a cat once who knew what word I was going to read next when I was reading the paper and put his paw on it every time. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/22 "2012-12-07T22:37:43Z")
To be honest, I think these psychics actually do believe in themselves and really do believe they can help you. It’s sad ☹ ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2012, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/23 "2012-12-07T23:09:05Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Did you reply to the email? Because that sounds like an excellent opportunity to vent some of your feelings. What would be awesome would be to find Nimitz and THEN call the psychic and ask how the cat is. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/24 "2012-12-08T02:31:23Z")
> [@Mangetout](#): > > Did you reply to the email? Because that sounds like an excellent opportunity to vent some of your feelings. Sure did. The reply included the words: ‘Frauds’ ‘advantage’ ‘misfortune’ and ‘puke’. 'Twas cathartic. > [@gracer](#): > > Woa, have you confronted the neighbour? There is a pit thread going right now where I told exactly that story: Psycho Neighbour had Nice Neighbour’s cat put down while they were away. > > I hope your cat finds its way back to you!! > > And yeah, fuck pet psychics preying on people like that. It’s disgusting. No, as I said, I have no solid evidence, just suspicions. We have a street party in a few weeks and neighbour can’t hold his booze. May get something out of him then. If I can in front of witnesses then the police & RSPCA will get calls. > [@RickJay](#): > > What would be awesome would be to find Nimitz and THEN call the psychic and ask how the cat is. That would be ideal 🙂 I can just imagine the reading this jerk would give: “Your cat is well but misses his home. He is near a drain pipe or grassed area with some trees.” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/25 "2012-12-08T03:57:33Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > I can just imagine the reading this jerk would give: > > “Your cat is well but misses his home. He is near a drain pipe or grassed area with some trees.” :rolleyes: … There’s a lot of noise nearby that he doesn’t understand, and it smells bad. Maybe a road? He’s worried because he knows your kid misses him. _puke_ Hope your cat shows up no worse but maybe a bit wiser for the wear. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/26 "2012-12-08T04:07:04Z")
> [@FlyByNight512](#): > > … There’s a lot of noise nearby that he doesn’t understand, and it smells bad. Maybe a road? He’s worried because he knows your kid misses him. > > _puke_ > > Hope your cat shows up no worse but maybe a bit wiser for the wear. Woah!! I had no idea we had such amazing pet psychics right here on the dope!!! Can you tell me what my cat is thinking right now?? ---
**Author:** ![FlyByNight512](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/82dd89/32.png) [@FlyByNight512](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyByNight512)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/27 "2012-12-08T04:18:46Z")
> [@drewtwo99](#): > > Woah!! I had no idea we had such amazing pet psychics right here on the dope!!! Can you tell me what my cat is thinking right now?? Your cat is currently contemplating the predator/prey cycle and its place in the universe, as echoed in Brahm’s second symphony. And is plotting how to get your attention for skritches. Go ahead, prove me wrong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2012, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/28 "2012-12-08T23:41:14Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Sure did. > > The reply included the words: ‘Frauds’ ‘advantage’ ‘misfortune’ and ‘puke’. 'Twas cathartic. If “puke” was the only four-letter word in your reply, then I admire your self-control ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2012, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/29 "2012-12-09T00:33:09Z")
I saw one of these shows…once…it was hilarious! The “pet psychic” was this wacky Englishwoman, who told the owner of the deceased cat, something like this: “Fluffy wants you to know that he is very happy, and he doesn’t want you to worry about him” Worth $300, yes?🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2012, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/30 "2012-12-09T01:52:55Z")
Spend the 300 bucks (much less actually) getting your pet microchipped. I paid 25 bucks for Bentley when I adopted him. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/31 "2012-12-09T04:26:14Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Cats also have the power of levitation. Drop a cat into a full bathtub and they will shoot straight to the ceiling. I suspect that if you had no ceiling, they would shoot straight into space. I’m in the process of designing a cat-powered rocket, which could be suspended over a small lake just before liftoff. Maybe we should combine our efforts. I’m currently in the development phase of a project to provide unlimited power. This will be accomplished by utilizing the dual laws that cats always land on their feet and toast always lands buttered side down. The cat will be outfitted with a harness that will hold a piece of toast. Once dropped the conflicting rules will cause the cat/toast assembly to hover in midair rapidly spinning. Add a set of magnets to the sides of the harness and copper coils to either side and Voilà: unlimited free power. Aside from food and anti-nausea meds for the cat that is. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2012, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/32 "2012-12-09T04:31:34Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > Aside from food and anti-nausea meds for the cat that is. And the ring shaped litter box. ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/33 "2012-12-24T05:54:23Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Cats also have the power of levitation. Drop a cat into a full bathtub and they will shoot straight to the ceiling. I suspect that if you had no ceiling, they would shoot straight into space. I’m in the process of designing a cat-powered rocket, which could be suspended over a small lake just before liftoff. This needs to be KickStarted, asap!! Energy Forever!! Cat-lytic Converters, perhaps? ---
**Author:** ![colander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@colander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colander)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2012, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/34 "2012-12-24T06:11:40Z")
The cat in question has been [safely recovered,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=676493) incidentally. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/35 "2012-12-25T04:46:22Z")
> [@Sweetums](#): > > Pet Psychic? > > ``` > Psychics make lousy pets. They are expensive to feed and are constantly needing attention. ;) > > ``` On the plus side, you can do whatever you like to them; they don’t feel pain like humans do. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/36 "2012-12-25T05:00:06Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > On the plus side, you can do whatever you like to them; they don’t feel pain like humans do. And even better, they don’t see it coming. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/37 "2012-12-25T05:48:10Z")
Normally I know Sequential Thread Titles go into the MPSIMS thread for them; but I can’t help smirking a little whenever I open the BBQ Pit and see: \*\* Dear ‘pet psychic’ For the lava god, you dumb bitch…\*\* \* \\* It just seems so appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/38 "2012-12-25T06:29:25Z")
> [@colander](#): > > The cat in question has been [safely recovered,](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=676493) incidentally. Great. Now skin the troublemaking bastard. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271/39 "2012-12-25T08:54:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Great. Now skin the troublemaking bastard. :dubious: Not much of a market for psychic skins I’m afraid. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pet-psychic/643271.md?page=1)