# Dear pharmacist: I understand how to work the suppositories **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2002, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384 "2002-12-17T19:35:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/1 "2002-12-17T19:35:08Z")
No really, I understand what they are and I understand how to deploy them. I really don’t need you to ask–in your big booming pharmacist’s voice–if I have any questions from the last time I used them or if I have any questions about how to use them this time. IIRC, I unwrap one and…well, you know as well as I what the next step is, and now you know that I know because you asked me about it loudly enough for the old deaf lady in photo finishing to know what’ll be going on in my ass in about 20 minutes. I realize your job requires you to ask, but for next time let’s practice using our inside voice. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/2 "2002-12-17T19:51:41Z")
You’d be suprised how many people forget to unwrap the foil. I used to work in a pharmacy, and my mother is a pharmacist - we’d hear about this all the time. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/3 "2002-12-17T20:09:26Z")
Well, you should have told him this to his face. Then again, he might have just told you to shove it up your - sigh. It’s just too easy. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/4 "2002-12-17T20:23:09Z")
“Sit on it, Potsie”, the Fonz. ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/5 "2002-12-17T20:37:28Z")
You should be freightened when the pharmasist offers to help you remove the suppository. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/6 "2002-12-17T21:23:07Z")
Yup, you’d be suprised to know how many people don’t know how to correctly use a suppository. (And on a pharmaceutical side note, some states require mandatory patient counseling, even on refills. There’s no law that says you have to counsel people in a booming voice that could raise the dead.) ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/7 "2002-12-18T00:08:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Skerri \* > \*\*Yup, you’d be suprised to know how many people don’t know how to correctly use a suppository. > \*\* And then there is the story about the simple\* old gentleman who was given was given some suppositories by his doctor with the instruction, “Use these rectally until the problem clears up.” After he got home he and his wife puzzled mightely over the instruction but the word “rectally” stumped them. He was in agony riding in a buggy so his wife went back to the doctor for clarification. The doctor who tried to clear things up by being a little more blunt. “Have him use one of these in his anus every day.” Back home they still couldn’t quite figure it out so back to the doctor she went. The doctor finally saw that he was going to have to put this in words the two of them understood. “Tell him to stick them up his ass.” When the wife reported the doctor’s final words the old man responded, “Well, don’t that beat all! Now we’ve made him mad and we never will find out how to use them.” - Merriam-Webster Collegiate - **simple** … **4/a** Lacking in knowledge or expertise … ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/8 "2002-12-18T01:11:59Z")
Funny story **David**. But yeah, pharm’s can be pain in the buttocks if they want to. Asking for condoms was bad enough, but I remember asking him for something for the mosquito bites on my ass. “What do they look like?” he asks, indicating me to show them. I re-iterate that they’re on my ass–what, you want me to SHOW them to you in front of a crowded pharmacy? He didn’t change his mind, so I just pointed to a little one on my knee, got the ointment and left. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/9 "2002-12-18T01:22:29Z")
Heh heh. Well, when I worked in retail pharmacy, we had these nifty auxiliary stickers that were supposed to be placed on certain prescriptions. We always took great pride in putting the “FOR RECTAL USE ONLY” (complete with butt drawing and arrow) on a cow-orker’s lunch, cookies someone brought in, etc. No wonder we never had any to put on the actual prescriptions. ---
**Author:** ![ceyjen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3bc359/32.png) [@ceyjen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ceyjen)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/10 "2002-12-18T15:32:05Z")
Re: Pharmacists and their consultations They have had a lot of training to do what they do, so why is it that when they give a consultation, they just read the information out of the pamphlet? Can’t I do that by myself? “Uh, hi,” he says to me. “Okaaaaaaay…so you take this once a day. You may experience drowsiness. Be sure to eat something before you take it. Any questions?” “Uh, yeah,” I answer. “Can you tell me something interesting about the medicine other than what I can read ON THE BOTTLE?!?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Spiff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiff/32/9852_2.png) [@Spiff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiff)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2002, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-pharmacist-i-understand-how-to-work-the-suppositories/143384/11 "2002-12-18T15:41:45Z")
Booming voice: Bad. The need to tell people about how to use suppositories: Sad, because it’s a reflection on the teeming **billions** of dimwits out there who need to be protected from their own stupidity. Why are we tampering with natural selection?