# Dear SUV driver: Not to put too fine a point on it ... **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 17, 2003, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301 "2003-01-17T20:52:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/61 "2003-01-18T04:15:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SPOOFE \* > **Gesundheit, mental midget. Now howzabout backing up your negative stereotypical comments about SUV drivers?** Okay, how about what this dildo posted on [this thread:](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=157001) > [@](#): > > It’s MY road. I’ll do whatever the hell I WANT to do. Sound familiar? ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/62 "2003-01-18T04:47:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*\*Oh, bullshit, Jackmanni. You had the same attitude in a previous post, and then claim it’s merely rhetorical (and a whoosh) once a mod gets on you. That’s the same kind of cowardice shown by SUV drivers who have to tailgate Mazdas. \*\* (Resisting temptation to **Puckyishly** reply “Did big bad SUV tailgate widdle oo?”, while noting that for a casual lurker, our **Pucky** seems to have major issues with a variety of posters): Got a cite for this claim? Don’t think so. We have this here search function on the SDMB, and I turn up a total of 3 SUV threads prior to this sleazefest that I was foolish enough to try to inject a bit of logic into: [namely this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=22844), [a similar outpouring of wisdom](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=145116) and [one other diatribe-athon](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=113002). In none do I do the impression of SUVosaurus Rex that’s thrown you into a tizzy. Perhaps I enraged your little undercover self with comments like: \*"The mileage argument gets blurred when you consider the new smaller SUVs that get as good or better mileage than some vans, and certainly better than numerous high-powered luxury cars. You’ll have to come up with a better justification to ban, say the Subaru Forester. It appears to be the symbolic value of the SUV that annoys the Jayrots. By all means work to mandate better mileage and less dependence on our good buddies the Saudis. Spare me the SUV rants."\* So, dearest **Pucky** , one must conclude that you are so overstuffed with fecal material that it is pouring out of all of your bodily orifices and threatening to cause a road hazard. Or looking on the positive side, perhaps generating enough methane to power your Mini-Cooper to Trollers Anonymous meetings. Oh, and **Rubystreak**? Since math is evidently not one of your strong points, try this little exercise: Person A selfishly drives a Ford Monstrocrusher 120 miles per week. The Monstrocrusher gets 15 miles per gallon. Weekly gas usage = 8 gallons. Person B heroically drives a Honda Huffington 400 miles per week, getting 25 miles per gallon. Weekly gas usage = 16 gallons. Checking the results on our magical Calculator of the Societal Good, Person A is twice as patriotic as Person B. But I would never call you a mental _midget_, **Rubystreak**. The acceptable term is _dwarf_, or _little person_. ---
**Author:** ![Blown\_Injected](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@Blown\_Injected](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blown_Injected)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/63 "2003-01-18T05:42:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Robb \* > \*\*If a guard rail is a problem, you don’t have a big enough SUV. \*\* Ha! lol you beat me to it!!! now on to the OP How is it the suv’s fault you jackass. The news around here says things like an suv did this or that like it was the suv’s fault. I believe the dumb asses that flip and kill themselves IN suv’s are the scared asses that need to die anyway - hopefully before they reproduce! In a car they would be the deer-in-headlights drivers that are not aware of anything else going on around them end pit rant ---
**Author:** ![Phoenix\_Dragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/65b543/32.png) [@Phoenix\_Dragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phoenix_Dragon)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/64 "2003-01-18T06:54:04Z")
I can only think of one responce fitting for the OP. I’m going to go out and buy a Canyonaro… ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/65 "2003-01-18T07:05:45Z")
Can’t the mods just sticky a locked SUV rant thread? That way, when someone gets the urge to make one, they can just read an existing one. All the same points will be covered in any of the three billion threads on the subject and there’s no reason to waste any time on yet another one. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/66 "2003-01-18T07:06:53Z")
And yes, I know I don’t have to read them if I don’t like them. ---
**Author:** ![Manatee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/50afbb/32.png) [@Manatee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manatee)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 8:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/67 "2003-01-18T08:03:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*_Based on widespread observation of SUV drivers, this one had doubtlessly stopped to safeguard a group of baby ducklings attempting to cross the road, while handing out literature on protecting the manatees from speedboats._ viable. \*\* Hey! Leave me out of this! ---
**Author:** ![blowero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/41988e/32.png) [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/68 "2003-01-18T09:23:16Z")
Didn’t Hitler drive an SUV?😉 ---
**Author:** ![Doc\_Nickel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@Doc\_Nickel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doc_Nickel)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/69 "2003-01-18T11:11:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*I have to agree with the OP. I’ve lived in Alaska for 33 years. The vehicles most likely to be spotted UPSIDE down in the ditch after even an itty bitty snow?? > > SUVs or souped up “4x4” trucks. > > By a ratio of about 10 of those to 1 “normal” car. > > Of course, I do have to ad a disclaimer, Alaskan drivers are probably the worst in the country. \*\* -Where the hell do you live, near the Glenn where all the yuppies try and outdo each other during rush hour in their Lexii? I live up here too, and compared to some of the suicidal assholes I’ve had to dodge on Lower 48 highways- in dry weather!- when the weather gets bad, in my opinion we have some of the best drivers around. Hell, it’s raining on packed snow and ice right now- there’s puddles in the intersections, sand is doing no good whatsoever- and in driving around all day I didn’t even see so much as a near-miss or a fender bender. That kind of weather _cripples_ any large L48 city you can name, to say nothing of the six _feet_ of snow that Valdez has right now. Allow me to join the chorus and note that, had the vehicle noted in the OP been _anything but_ an SUV, the poster would have seen it only as an inconvenience, not as further evidence of the evils of SUV-dom. One vehicle in an accident, that vehicle being an SUV. By our Amazing Powers of Deduction© we can clearly see that yes indeed, said SUV driver was being an arrogant “I can drive anywhere” prick. It seems so clear. No, it’s simply impossible- far outside the realm of contemplation- for it to have been anything but sheer driver chutzpah. Couldn’t have been avoiding an animal or other erratic driver. Impossible that there might have been some piece of debris in the road that could have punctured a tire. The driver obviously- being an SUV owner- has no heart, so couldn’t possibly have suffered a heart attack… though there may be something to the possibility of a clogged-artery-caused stroke due to all the fatty foods such drivers ubiquitously consume. (It’s in the contract somewhere, I’m pretty sure.) The driver couldn’t possibly have been diabetic, or perhaps in more of a hurry than he or she should have because granddad is in the hospital and fading fast. These things can easily be discerned and thus dismissed just by looking as you drive by, so clearly the only causation of the accident was sheer SUV arrogance. The driver, a white male probably, was blasting through the drifts with his heavy metal (probably pirated) blaring from his sound system when he took this corner at what must have been 110 MPH, right? The smug bastard, serves him right. Asshole. (And I don’t mean the SUV driver.) ---
**Author:** ![lucwarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@lucwarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lucwarm)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/70 "2003-01-18T12:55:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > \*\* > > Porsche Boxster: 120 feet…Yawn. > Oldsmobile Intrigue: 131 feet…Arrgh. > Dodge Caravan SE: 135 feet…Whew. > Pontiac Transport: 141 feet…WHEW! > Isuzu Rodeo: 148 feet…BANG!! > Ford Explorer: 150 feet…SMASH!!! > Chevrolet Blazer: 154 feet…SLAM!!! > Chevrolet Suburban: 155 feet…CRUNCH!!! > Kenworth Pilgrimage: ??? feet…&_$@#%=\>#:~@%_!!! > > Statistical Source: Edmunds Car and Truck Guide. \*\* SCORE!!! ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/71 "2003-01-18T15:08:00Z")
Of course, one should point out that the curve may have been defined to be blind, but nobody said anything about the shoulder or the opposite effing lane. Or, in fact, that most highways don’t _have_ blind curves. Any road that does, you shouldn’t be doing sixty. So if you are, it’s your own damned fault for being a moron. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/72 "2003-01-18T16:03:56Z")
Boy, I’ll tell ya. Those damn SUV drivers. Not only can’t they stop, and not only are they big and prone to rollovers, but they pollute the air, too. Well, um, they do pollute,[don’t they](http://www.bullz-eye.com/carreviews/2002/landroverdiscovery.htm)? > [@](#): > > Now that the Range Rover contains a BMW-derived powerplant, its former V-8 engine is installed in the Discovery, and to great effect. Sure, the 4.6-liter V-8 owes its innards to 1960s GM engineering, but it’s smooth and torquey, and it’s been brought to modern times and meets **ULEV** standards, as well. OK, maybe not. But they still can’t stop, so neener neener neener. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/73 "2003-01-18T16:30:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > **Some info I’ve cadged from [this site.](http://poseur.4x4.org/reasons2.html)** John, it IS you. :eek: Can you say “Pot.Kettle.:rolleyes:” just one time for old time’s sake? ---
**Author:** ![mske](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ccd318/32.png) [@mske](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mske)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/74 "2003-01-18T16:38:39Z")
Crap… Where is Mr. Cynical when you need him. Anyone want to talk about solar energy? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/75 "2003-01-18T16:41:13Z")
Nah, we need Coldfire for that. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/76 "2003-01-18T16:53:43Z")
Dear Fatherclohne, uhm I mean Pucky. The search feature is your friend. You however are an idiot, and an unimaginative one at that. Remember SUV’s don’t kill people, no wait, When SUV’s are outlawed, only outlaws…Oh hell with it, this subject and your opinon in regards to is so old tired and just played out I just don’t care anymore. :squeals off in Official Suburban of Doom® crushing any who dare to cross her murderous path: ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/77 "2003-01-18T17:11:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Pucky Schumer \* > Okay, you’re right. I apologize. Based on widespread observation of SUV drivers, this one had doubtlessly stopped to safeguard a group of baby ducklings attempting to cross the road, while handing out literature on protecting the manatees from speedboats. A point of clarification: it’s more likely the the SUV driver was trying to run over the group of baby ducklings than trying to avoid them. We hate them ducklings. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/78 "2003-01-18T17:23:41Z")
[Non-SUV spouse](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=157346). God, I love putting my (her) money where my mouth is. ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/79 "2003-01-18T21:11:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jackmannii \* > **(Resisting temptation to Puckyishly reply “Did big bad SUV tailgate widdle oo?”, while noting that for a casual lurker, our Pucky seems to have major issues with a variety of posters):** No issues. I know of some and enjoy their posts. Others I don’t. It’s the pit. > [@](#): > > Got a cite for this claim? Don’t think so. It’s in this _exact same thread!_ Are you being dishonest or are you really that stupid? You said: "I never have that sort of problem in my 2002 Mazda Armageddon 4X4. I grind Geo Metros and suchlike under my oversized tires and find that it improves traction mightily." > [@](#): > > We have this here search function on the SDMB Then use this here search engine, because you aren’t using that there (ahem) brain. > [@](#): > > Perhaps I enraged your little undercover self with comments like: (snip mileage straw man) I don’t know what you mean by “undercover.” I have never posted here under any other name. We have a search engine on this here board that would allow you to note I never once mentioned mileage. What I objected to was that A) Many SUV drivers do not know how to operate their vehicles and drive them like cars B) The high fuckwit quotient among many SUV drivers. > [@](#): > > So, dearest **Pucky** , one must conclude that you are so overstuffed with fecal material that it is pouring out of all of your bodily orifices and threatening to cause a road hazard. Or looking on the positive side, perhaps generating enough methane to power your Mini-Cooper to Trollers Anonymous meetings. Reference B, above. > [@](#): > > Oh, and **Rubystreak**? Since math is evidently not one of your strong points, try this little exercise: > > Person A selfishly drives a Ford Monstrocrusher 120 miles per week. The Monstrocrusher gets 15 miles per gallon. Weekly gas usage = 8 gallons. > > Person B heroically drives a Honda Huffington 400 miles per week, getting 25 miles per gallon. Weekly gas usage = 16 gallons. > > Checking the results on our magical Calculator of the Societal Good, Person A is twice as patriotic as Person B. > But I would never call you a mental _midget_, **Rubystreak**. > > The acceptable term is _dwarf_, or _little person_. \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Pucky\_Schumer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@Pucky\_Schumer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucky_Schumer)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2003, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301/80 "2003-01-18T21:18:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blown & Injected \* > \*\*Ha! lol > you beat me to it!!! > > now on to the OP > How is it the suv’s fault you jackass. The news around here says things like an suv did this or that like it was the suv’s fault. > > I believe the dumb asses that flip and kill themselves IN suv’s are the scared asses that need to die anyway - hopefully before they reproduce! In a car they would be the deer-in-headlights drivers that are not aware of anything else going on around them > > end pit rant \*\* Reference B, above. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-suv-driver-not-to-put-too-fine-a-point-on-it/149301.md?page=5)