# Dear SWMNBN **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 16, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951 "2010-09-16T09:14:44Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/1 "2010-09-16T09:14:44Z")
Dear She Who Must Not Be Named- WTF? I mean really, WTF? We have had an on-again, off-again relationship for over twenty years. The sex was incredible, but frankly it was not enough to put up with all your drama. You are a self-centered bitch who never gave me a thought. Hell, when your plane was diverted on 9-11 you holed up on some Caribbean island and never even contacted me. WTF? You have never said a nice thing to me. I seriously cannot recall the last time you said a nice thing to anyone. It is hard for you to be nice since of course you are better than the rest of us. Hell, I once told you I liked a certain style because it made me look elegant. You told me I did not look elegant. Thankyouverymuch. You have millions of dollars and yet are unwilling to spend a penny of your own to meet during my trips to the Real World. Not a freaking penny. It is a cursed relationship. I am an American who speaks little Spanish. You are a Latina who was raised in Hell as near as I can tell. The cultural differences are huge. Being with you has been exciting. Dangerous, sometimes painful, and exciting. Loving you has been like having a bowling alley installed in my head. Never a minute of rest or comfort. I have actually feared for my life from time to time. Hell, when we ran off to Missouri we actually got a marriage license before you ran back home. (Of course we were in Missouri and who can blame anyone for fleeing Missouri, especially in winter? But still, it hurt.) Then there is the issue of your family. They do not like me. Most especially your husband, why that is I do not understand but suspect it is some sort of cultural thing. So now I am set to be married and you have the supernatural ability to e-mail from out of the blue and say the most hurtful things to me. How do you manage that? How did you become such an expert at hurting people? Perhaps it is a natural talent. You once famously said you “never cry, never smile.” Look seek medical help; the rest of us would like to get on with our lives. I have found a scrap of love and comfort after all these years. A person to settle with, to grow old with, and you manage to write me concerning your hurt and how I have hurt you in the past. I will of course reply to your e-mail with a kind, unthreatening note that is my way of being passive-agressive with you. Not that you will take the freaking hint. I will make a point of not letting you know where my new bride and I will settle. People like you carry both grudges and weapons. (I do hope however you will be able to write your customary check for a house as you do at the weddings of your cousins. Seriously, cash is always welcome.) Elsewise, leave me, leave us, alone. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/2 "2010-09-16T09:28:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I will of course reply to your e-mail with a kind, unthreatening note that is my way of being passive-agressive with you. Not that you will take the freaking hint. Don’t do that. Just delete the email, block the address, and move on with your life. ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/3 "2010-09-16T09:34:46Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > I will of course reply to your e-mail with a kind, unthreatening note that is my way of being passive-agressive with you. Not that you will take the freaking hint. > > Don’t do that. Just delete the email, block the address, and move on with your life. +1 It REALLY sounds like you don’t need this woman anywhere near you, whether geographically or electronically. Good luck with the wedding! ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Knig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@Typo\_Knig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Knig)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/4 "2010-09-16T10:52:47Z")
Another vote for cutting contact with “She who was expelled from Hell because she drove The Devil Himself crazy”. Don’t reply to her email, and move on. That puts you in control. Let her stew in her own nastiness. And +100000 congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!!111!!! Living well **IS** the best revenge. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/5 "2010-09-16T12:11:33Z")
Sounds like she’s ‘get stuck in your chimney’ material. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/6 "2010-09-16T12:15:54Z")
> [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > Sounds like she’s ‘get stuck in your chimney’ material. Is that anything like “she’s living rent free inside his head”? ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/7 "2010-09-16T12:40:31Z")
Am I the only one who caught this? I don’t understand, or perhaps I missed something-- she’s cheating on her husband with you and for some odd reason he doesn’t like you? > [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > We have had an on-again, off-again relationship for over twenty years. The sex was incredible… > > …[t]hen there is the issue of your family. They do not like me. Most **especially your husband** , why that is I do not understand but suspect it is some sort of cultural thing. Bolding mine ---
**Author:** ![One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/838e76/32.png) [@One\_And\_Only\_Wanderers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/One_And_Only_Wanderers)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/8 "2010-09-16T12:43:11Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Am I the only one who caught this? I don’t understand, or perhaps I missed something-- she’s cheating on her husband with you and for some odd reason he doesn’t like you? > > > [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > > > We have had an on-again, off-again relationship for over twenty years. The sex was incredible… > > > > …[t]hen there is the issue of your family. They do not like me. Most **especially your husband** , why that is I do not understand but suspect it is some sort of cultural thing. > > Bolding mine I caught it. I assumed the marriage post dated their relationship to make it make sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/9 "2010-09-16T13:02:00Z")
Well, sure, but then again it was a complicated relationship. Both my Honey and I caught this line from **Typo Knig** , _Living Well is the Best Revenge._ Let me commence to doing that. I am about to figure out how to block Her from both G-Mail and Hotmail. Thank you all. ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/10 "2010-09-16T13:10:35Z")
Done. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/11 "2010-09-16T13:16:36Z")
> [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](#): > > I will make a point of not letting you know where my new bride and I will settle. You may want to rethink your username. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/12 "2010-09-16T13:39:03Z")
Ah, but he is not in Qatar 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Indian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c0e974/32.png) [@Indian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indian)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/13 "2010-09-16T13:59:38Z")
She is a member of this board , that is how she learns your plans . ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Steophan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steophan/32/9595_2.png) [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/14 "2010-09-16T14:26:03Z")
So, this woman is supposedly all these terrible things, but she’s good enough for you to fuck regularly over many years, and now you want her out of your life because she’s inconvenient? Classy. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/15 "2010-09-16T14:27:03Z")
Congratulations on your impending (or eventual) nuptials! ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/16 "2010-09-16T14:27:56Z")
+1 on blocking / ignoring. But - you’re getting married? When did _this_ development happen? And where will you and your bride be living? Spill!!! ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/17 "2010-09-16T14:44:31Z")
> [@FriarTed](#): > > > [@Mr.Miskatonic](#): > > > > Sounds like she’s ‘get stuck in your chimney’ material. > > Is that anything like “she’s living rent free inside his head”? Not a [figure of speech](http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/09/01/coroner-california-doctor-suffocated-trying-squeeze-chimney-home/): > [@](#): > > A doctor whose decomposing body was found in a narrow chimney suffocated after she tried to get into the home of her boyfriend, authorities said Wednesday. > > … > > Police said Kotarac, a 49-year-old internist, wanted to confront the man with whom she had an “on-again, off-again” relationship. > > … > > The night before, she tried to get into the house with a shovel then climbed a ladder to the roof, removed the chimney cap and slid down. police said. > > Meanwhile, the man she sought left unnoticed to avoid a confrontation and slept elsewhere that night, authorities said. ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/18 "2010-09-16T14:54:52Z")
Got tired of la vida loca, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/19 "2010-09-16T15:40:56Z")
+25 on blocking the crazy, and congratulations on the upcoming nuptials! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [September 16, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/20 "2010-09-16T15:50:43Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Ah, but he is not in Qatar 🙂 Yeah, he’s in Dammam, Saudi Arabia. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951.md?page=2)