# Dear SWMNBN

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951>\
**Category:** The BBQ Pit\
**Created:** [September 16, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951 "2010-09-16T09:14:44Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\
**Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/41 "2010-09-20T15:31:11Z")

</div>

You know, you don’t **have** to answer people’s questions. If dwelling on this is making you angrier/sadder/unhappier, just stop posting in this thread. Your mental wellbeing is more important than a stranger’s curiosity.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\
**Post date:** [September 20, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/42 "2010-09-20T16:47:38Z")

</div>

I second **sandra\_nz**. You don’t owe anyone explanations of your past, and if previous occurrences are any guideline it will lead to judgmental flaming, not simple acceptance with appreciation for sharing your story. I recall a couple times you’ve talked a bit about it on the boards in other threads and I can see why you don’t talk about it much. If you’re going to put her behind you, let this thread be a place to start. If people want to hear about interpersonal relationships gone wrong, they have plenty of venues to satisfy their curiosity. The human experience is literally strewn with people who were dashed on the rocks of romance, in all flavors/combinations. There is no reason to cause yourself additional emotional pain to satisfy someone else’s misplaced curiosity.

Enjoy,  
Steven

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/43 "2010-09-21T01:31:53Z")

</div>

Well thank you two for that. Last night I had a nightmare about SWMNBN, that cannot be good. I do thank you all for your wise comments and kind words. Perhaps there is no good way to do this. Perhaps there is simply a least-bad way.

OK, I shall sign off.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\
**Post date:** [September 21, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951/44 "2010-09-21T04:02:50Z")

</div>

> [@sandra\_nz](#):
>
> You know, you don’t **have** to answer people’s questions. If dwelling on this is making you angrier/sadder/unhappier, just stop posting in this thread. Your mental wellbeing is more important than a stranger’s curiosity.

> [@Mtgman](#):
>
> I second **sandra\_nz**. You don’t owe anyone explanations of your past, and if previous occurrences are any guideline it will lead to judgmental flaming, not simple acceptance with appreciation for sharing your story. I recall a couple times you’ve talked a bit about it on the boards in other threads and I can see why you don’t talk about it much. If you’re going to put her behind you, let this thread be a place to start. If people want to hear about interpersonal relationships gone wrong, they have plenty of venues to satisfy their curiosity. The human experience is literally strewn with people who were dashed on the rocks of romance, in all flavors/combinations. There is no reason to cause yourself additional emotional pain to satisfy someone else’s misplaced curiosity.
> 
> Enjoy,  
> Steven

I third it. Good luck, **Paul.**

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-swmnbn/553951.md?page=2)