# Dear Tim up in Heaven **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 2, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504 "2003-03-02T02:41:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/21 "2003-03-02T16:31:59Z")
## quote: Originally posted by djf750 Why was that 10 year old home alone? ## And why is alcohol legal? Uh, sorry, this thread ended up being a double post (“The Straight Dope is too busy to use now”) The 10 year old was home alone because he lives on a ranch in Montana. It’s a cultural thing, I guess. But I was a 10 year old kid who was left at home alone also. No big deal. Tim’s death wasn’t “just” because he was drunk. He planned it. Part of his death was undoubtedly due to drinking too much, as a life style. Whistlepig I posted on the other “duplicate” thread and this is what I posted and how whistle responded to me. I’m sorry about your friend, but alcohol is a very dangerous drug and it sounds like your friend was an alcoholic who chose not to get sober. And this is what happens many times. And as for leaving 10 year olds home alone and it being a Montana “cultural” thing; what??? As you see, the 10 year old is now screwed up because no adult was there when a drunken friend showed up. Mom and Dad were “playing darts” and this kid had to deal with a cursing belligerent depressed drunk? Maybe some “cultural” things should be looked at. And since this alcoholic killed himself. no one is planning to attend a memorial service? Because he was “weak”? Maybe that is why he never reached out for help, because he was afraid his drinking buddies would consider him “weak”. The thing that bothers me the most about this is that poor kid, left home alone so mom and dad could go party, and now he has to deal with the memory of that guy killing himself. ---
**Author:** ![Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/soul_brother_number_two/32/3515_2.png) [@Soul\_Brother\_Number\_Two](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul_Brother_Number_Two)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/22 "2003-03-02T18:20:38Z")
“Maybe that is why he never reached out for help, because he was afraid his drinking buddies would consider him “weak”.” Very very good point, dj. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/23 "2003-03-02T19:32:17Z")
I am definitely against suicide being called cowardly and selfish, because most of the time, the person who commits suicide is in such a state of mind that they are unable to function outside their pain. I don’t think it is the person “taking the easy way out.” That being said, their loved ones ARE entitled to be angry. It’s part of dealing with grief. Fuck off, **Mockingbird**. ---
**Author:** ![Daoloth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/82dd89/32.png) [@Daoloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daoloth)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/24 "2003-03-02T20:00:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\* > > That being said, who shoots himself _in the chest???_ \*\* Aye, that’s the method my stepmom’s mother took about five decades ago, in her children’s own bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/25 "2003-03-02T23:49:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*To all but the OP: You sicken me with your pathetic pile-on behaviour, and your seeming braindead lack of insight into depression and being suicidal. > > What ever to the lot of you. Off to other threads that don’t slam the dead and sit in judgement of things they don’t understand and have never experienced. \*\* At the risk of joining the pile-on, I’ll try to state it nicely. **Mockingbird** , **whistlepig** doesn’t _have_ to have insight into depression and suicide. He doesn’t _have_ to be a trained psychiatrist to mourn over the death of his friend, the tragic circumstances surrounding said death, and the impact it had on those around the departed. He’s grieving, and part of it is anger. Grieving is a very personal process: you might not react this way at all to a situation described in the OP. But you have to leave room for someone to grieve, and yes, vent, as needed. ---
**Author:** ![Protesilaus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Protesilaus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Protesilaus)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2003, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/26 "2003-03-03T04:36:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spooje \* > \*\*That being said, who shoots himself _in the chest???_ \*\* Someone who wants an open casket? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/27 "2003-03-04T06:29:38Z")
[not lecturing] **whistlepig** , if you’re still reading this, have you rethought your decision to go to the memorial service? It might help you find closure.[/not lecturing] ---
**Author:** ![whistlepig](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/73ab20/32.png) [@whistlepig](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whistlepig)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/28 "2003-03-04T07:12:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by essvee \* > \*\*“Maybe that is why he never reached out for help, because he was afraid his drinking buddies would consider him “weak”.” > > Very very good point, dj. \*\* Well, none of us consider someone “weak” for not drinking. We’re in our 40’s, we’re adults. If someone chooses not to drink it’s their business, no one else’s. We respect each other. There are people who have stopped drinking and gone away; there are people who have quit drinking and still come in and have pop; people who quit drinking for awhile for personal or health reasons; people who only have one drink and that’s all. Nobody cares what you’re drinking unless they’re ordering a round. And then they just want to make sure you get the right thing. Those are my friends, YMMV. I had stayed away from this thread and hope that after this, the thread just fades away. Other issues can go to other threads. Thanks, Whistlepig ---
**Author:** ![tunabreath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@tunabreath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tunabreath)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/29 "2003-03-04T16:19:10Z")
I’m very sad to hear about your friend. I have some experience with suicide. My father did it and I’ve considered it. I can’t do it because my father did it, a last gift from him perhaps. Vent all you want. Cry, yell and scream, it’s OK. Be angry as hell. It’s OK. When your through maybe you can bring yourself to hoist one in remembrance of better times. I was starting to think Mockingbird was getting a bit piled on and perhaps a bit misunderstood. Boy was I wrong. What a twit. I sure hope that when he/she has to deal with grief the people around him/her will show more compassion than Mokingbird showed. I’ve never said anything bad about anyone or called anyone names on the net before now. I’m so sorry for Tim and his friends. Take care Whistlepig. ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2003, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/30 "2003-03-04T19:42:47Z")
Please go to his memorial service. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/31 "2003-03-05T00:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Please go to his memorial service. No formal services are being held. **whistlepig** , my heart goes out to you and your friends. I’m local if you need someone outside the circle to vent to. I’ve been where your at, if you need to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/32 "2003-03-05T00:23:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SylverOne \* > \*\*No formal services are being held. > > \*\* 😕 The OP mentioned a memorial service at the VFW. ---
**Author:** ![SylverOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@SylverOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SylverOne)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2003, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504/33 "2003-03-05T00:31:10Z")
My apologies to **whistlepig** and **djf750** My mistake, I was going off what I had read in our local paper last week, and had missed that reference in the OP. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-tim-up-in-heaven/158504.md?page=1)