# Dear Wiccans: get over yourselves **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 16, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968 "2009-06-16T17:55:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/1 "2009-06-16T17:55:17Z")
[Rant about cute but pretentious girls] This is perhaps very unfortunate… for you. You are not the first people to be called witches, and have nothing to do with actual, historical witchcraft, either. Your religion, and I use the term in its most perjorative sense and loosest sense, got started by some bored English chits who wanted to play around and pretend they were important. It was popularized by some British dude who didn’t believe a word of it so he could sell some books. Your entire theology is a mash of arbitrarily picked beliefs from random celtic groups, along with a healthy dose of stuff you claim they believed when they had nothing of the kind,m and would probably have killed you for fun. Second, you annoying people who claim you’re “witches” and talk about earth magic and Gaia and insist on spelling “magic” with a “k” are full of it. I really doubt you believe it either, since you (the cute but psychotic with daddy issues redhead and all) seem to have a huge chip on your shoulder because your daddy (who is paying for your college education and apartment if not food) was a fairly strict Baptist. Yeah, you’re a real rebel there. :rolleyes: Finally, stop being so hot. It’s not fair that I have to listen to your insipid fails-to-even-be-Leftist drivel while wanting to date you. 😃 [/Rant about cute but prentious girls] ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/2 "2009-06-16T17:56:42Z")
LOL I bet she’s hot in the sack. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/3 "2009-06-16T17:58:48Z")
Well I’ve had to sit through the same stuff for the same reason. Good luck. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/4 "2009-06-16T18:05:41Z")
I’m not sure it’s fair to simultaneously make fun of someone for believing something you think is nonsensical _and_ make fun of them for _not_ believing something you think is nonsensical. I mean, apart, “You’re idiots for believing this!” and “You’re clearly faking belief!” are perfectly fine insults (if presumptuous), but not at the same time. Pick one. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/5 "2009-06-16T18:07:20Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Your entire theology is a mash of arbitrarily picked beliefs from random celtic groups, along with a healthy dose of stuff you claim they believed when they had nothing of the kind,m and would probably have killed you for fun. I like pointing this out. But then, I’m the kind of guy who saves his crawdad heads, because they make great finger puppets for your friends in PETA. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/6 "2009-06-16T18:25:27Z")
Someone has an unrequited crush. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/7 "2009-06-16T18:34:04Z")
I’m going to start a religion. We will give our most revered members the title of “Asshole”. Then, whenever somebody calls another person an asshole, we will be offended. ---
**Author:** ![Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/13edae/32.png) [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interconnected_Series_of_Tubes)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/8 "2009-06-16T18:35:16Z")
Wait: and she’s a redhead?! Get the fuck over it, IMO. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/9 "2009-06-16T18:37:07Z")
Some of Wicca’s detractors try to link it to human sacrifice and that sort of thing, which is complete nonsense. That’s why I don’t take Wicca seriously as a religion – nobody ever got killed over it. Yeah, yeah, the Burning Times. Bullshit, those were Christians being burnt. I can understand why they’d change the spelling of magic to make it clear they weren’t talking about card tricks and such. Unfortunately, I’m being charitable here because I’ve never actually heard a Wiccan give this perfectly reasonable explanation for what otherwise appears to be pretentiousness. I suspect that this is probably because pretension is the actual reason for the spelling. I have seen early modern documents in which ‘witch’ is spelled with two v’s. I wonder why this doesn’t catch on, while they’re trying to look olde school. Possibly it’s because most people getting involved in this stuff only read the hokey paperbacks from the New Age section of Borders. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/10 "2009-06-16T18:39:24Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > … a mash of arbitrarily picked beliefs from random celtic groups, along with a healthy dose of stuff you claim they believed… So, these aren’t the Druids you are looking for? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/11 "2009-06-16T18:39:59Z")
Magick with a K isn’t a Wiccan thing. Aleister Crowley invented that device intentionally distinguish it from stage magic. It’s not pretentious at all, it’s an useful way to distinguish what you’re talking about. Of course if you don’t believe in Magick then it’s pretentious by default because well…there’s no such thing, so you must be pretending. Regardless spelling Magick with a K is a very common usage amongst all occult circles, it’s not even considered controversial, and has nothing to do with Wicca specifically. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/12 "2009-06-16T18:40:12Z")
> [@smiling\_bandit](#): > > Finally, stop being so hot. It’s not fair that I have to listen to your insipid fails-to-even-be-Leftist drivel while wanting to date you. 😃 > [@mswas](#): > > LOL > > I bet she’s hot in the sack. > [@tomndebb](#): > > Someone has an unrequited crush. > [@Interconnected\_Series\_of\_Tubes](#): > > Wait: and she’s a redhead?! > > Get the fuck over it, IMO. 😃 You know, I bet that you could easily get her in the sack if you showed even a cursory knowledge and understanding of astrology and the like. Give it a try and return with results. Remember, pics or didn’t happen. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/13 "2009-06-16T18:40:42Z")
Cliff’s Notes on Wiccans Good Points: less inhibited and less likely to wear underwear than regular folks Bad Points: less inclined to wear deodorant and more likely to have hairy bits than regular folks. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/14 "2009-06-16T18:41:03Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > You know, I bet that you could easily get her in the sack if you showed even a cursory knowledge and understanding of astrology and the like. Fuck that, just read up on Beltaine and see if she wants to celebrate it with you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/15 "2009-06-16T18:44:17Z")
Redheads. _mmmmmmm_! ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/16 "2009-06-16T18:49:31Z")
> [@mswas](#): > > Fuck that, just read up on Beltaine and see if she wants to celebrate it with you. 😉 I only skimmed the Wikipedia article on this and May is over. ☹ I still suggest learning some cursory astrology. It has applications of getting nonWiccans into bed rather easily as well. > [@Khadaji](#): > > Redheads. _mmmmmmm_! Indeed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/17 "2009-06-16T18:53:21Z")
Is this the redheaded wiccan in question? [http://www.whedonsworld.com/pix/buffy/char/main/willow/willow09.jpg](http://www.whedonsworld.com/pix/buffy/char/main/willow/willow09.jpg) If so, just shut up and do whatever she says, dummy. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Angel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d26b3c/32.png) [@Johnny\_Angel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Angel)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/18 "2009-06-16T18:55:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Magick with a K isn’t a Wiccan thing. Aleister Crowley invented that device intentionally distinguish it from stage magic. It’s not pretentious at all, it’s an useful way to distinguish what you’re talking about. I believe you, mostly. I do think that it’s useful for making that distinction, at least in writing. I do not believe that it is not primarily practiced in the service of pretentiousness. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/19 "2009-06-16T19:10:17Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > So, these aren’t the Druids you are looking for? Tweet! Penalty box for **elucidator**. [Scroll to the last panel.](http://questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1410) Thanks for the chuckle. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [June 16, 2009, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968/20 "2009-06-16T19:13:22Z")
> [@Covered\_In\_Bees](#): > > I only skimmed the Wikipedia article on this and May is over. ☹ The Summer Solstice is right around the corner, though! 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-wiccans-get-over-yourselves/499968.md?page=2)