# Dear Zoe--you're an idiot, not a detective. Now shut the hell up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/1 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")
Zoe, you stupid psycho, your constant use of your magical psychic girl-detective powers to stalk and “out” posters who don’t match whatever bizarre stereotypes you have about them is really starting to piss me off. You did it with [Phlospher](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=304642&highlight=Phlospher) and stalked him for [at least a year](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=290544&highlight=Phlospher) before you gave up. You did it with [Rubystreak](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=494321&highlight=rubystreak) and stalked her and were proven wrong and embarrassed yourself (my link isn’t the best example, but I’m sure others will post more)-HA! [Here’s the one where you ‘proved’](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8557324&postcount=54) Rubystreak was a guy 'cause she used the word “cunt”. You did it with [pseudotriton ruber ruber](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8271227&postcount=332) (one of about six billion threads where you did it–note, this is hyperbole), you stalked him at least 2 years (2007-2009), if you weren’t so fucking creepy (when you were researching (and calling?) actual universities trying to figure out which one he did or didn’t work for), you would have been a laughingstock. And just now, you did it with [Rand Rover](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=10983338&postcount=401). I know you’ve done it with others too, but can’t find the cites at the moment. And you’ve never been right once. NEVER. What the fuck is your major malfunction? I know you have this warped idea that everyone in a given profession must alway act/write/behave/think a certain way 100% of the time, and if that was all it was, it’d be just pathetic and kinda funny. But it’s not just that 'cause once you get fixated on a poster, you follow them around harassing them both here and in real life and frankly, I’d love to see you warned or banned for it. You are NOT Miss Marple, you are NOT Nancy Drew, and hell, if you were about 50% better at your ‘detective’ work, you’d almost be on par with one of Inspector Clouseau’s turds for inductive and deductive reasoning. So how 'bout shutting the fuck up with your psychotic suspicions and go get some therapy, you crazy-assed bitch. PS–your traditional next step is to post how you were a teacher who taught inner-city kids and had shit flung at you so we should feel sorry for you and how you’re old and have kids and grandkids so you’re old and…I dunno…deserving of respect for that? None of that’s relevant, so, for novelty’s sake, can we skip that part? ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/2 "2009-03-30T04:36:26Z")
Nice rant. And furthermore anyone who thinks they can tell someone’s gender by the words they use…scares me to think of that person teaching young minds!! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/3 "2009-03-30T05:29:52Z")
You’ve been following **Zoe** awfully closely. Awfully, awfully closely. If I didn’t know better I might think you were stalking her. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/4 "2009-03-30T05:40:25Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Nice rant. And furthermore anyone who thinks they can tell someone’s gender by the words they use…scares me to think of that person teaching young minds!! No kidding. I’ve often been told I have a “masculine” writing style (and people on line are continually mistaking me for male) and I find it disturbing that someone could declare me “male” based solely on what I write, then proceed to call me a liar for stating my true gender. Then again, I’ve had an internet stalker (not here) who then proceeded to try to screw up my real life, including trying to get me tossed out of flight school and have my FAA medical revoked,\* so really this sort of thing doesn’t surprise me anymore. Disturbs, saddens, angers… but does not surprise. \*\* None of which he was successful at doing, I am happy to say.\* ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/5 "2009-03-30T05:56:49Z")
Just put a chunk of text into the [Gender Genie.](http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php) No, I don’t think it’s all that accurate. ---
**Author:** ![Martin\_Hyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/47e85d/32.png) [@Martin\_Hyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martin_Hyde)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/6 "2009-03-30T06:01:49Z")
Yes, Zoe is mind numbingly stupid, and apparently keeps tabs on many posters and cross-compares posts to find inconsistencies or anything that might give her reason to reveal her Holmesian revelations to the board at large. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/7 "2009-03-30T06:55:55Z")
I keep wanting somebody to put the Rand Rover clues together and unmask him! As a New York tax lawyer unknown outside the tax and Ayn Rand communities. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/8 "2009-03-30T07:30:57Z")
I have to admit, I once acted like \*\*Zoe \*\*is accused of doing here. I figured something out about the ethnic background of a poster, made a certain remark based on my guess, and his overreaction got him banned. In retrospect, it wasn’t my finest moment on the SDMB; but I have to admit that it was a real rush at the time. I can see why \*\*Zoe \*\*does it - and why she shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/9 "2009-03-30T08:31:32Z")
There certainly is a pattern here. Not too hard to see. I’ve noticed it without even paying much attention. I’m not a Rand Rover fan but her accusations seemed bizarre. If he was some teenager making up a profession I think he would pick something exciting like Lion Tamer (maybe buy a hat too), not something extremely dull like tax lawyer. She also has a pattern of not taking criticism well and slinking off when proven wrong. Maybe things will change. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/10 "2009-03-30T08:57:56Z")
This is just to affirm that I am aware of the Pit thread and that I will be reading whatever you wish to post. Regardless of whether accusations are true or false, I have no intentions of defending myself. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/11 "2009-03-30T09:00:07Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > She also has a pattern of not taking criticism well and slinking off when proven wrong. Maybe things will change. Apparently not. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/12 "2009-03-30T09:35:56Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > She also has a pattern of not taking criticism well and slinking off when proven wrong. Spot on. Well played, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/13 "2009-03-30T10:22:41Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > There certainly is a pattern here. Not too hard to see. I’ve noticed it without even paying much attention. I’m not a Rand Rover fan but her accusations seemed bizarre. If he was some teenager making up a profession I think he would pick something exciting like Lion Tamer (maybe buy a hat too), not something extremely dull like tax lawyer. > > She also has a pattern of not taking criticism well and slinking off when proven wrong. Maybe things will change. Sir,speaking as a proffessional Lion Tamer with over sixty years of experience and having performed before the Crowned Heads of Europe I can only condemn your tacit suggestion that \*\*RandRover \*\*in future posts on this board whilst pretending to have the same career as myself. Shame on you sir! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/14 "2009-03-30T10:58:44Z")
Shit. I expected at least an attempt before the slink. You can’t have it both ways. If you want to wade into the Pit and throw accusations around you better be willing to defend yourself. I prefer trolls like Rand Rover to people like that. Either participate in the Pit or don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/15 "2009-03-30T11:08:39Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > This is just to affirm that I am aware of the Pit thread and that I will be reading whatever you wish to post. Regardless of whether accusations are true or false, I have no intentions of defending myself. Will you stop doing it? Because apparently more people are bothered by it than just the people you do it to. It’s creepy and you’re just wrong. Reconsider your tactics. Maybe trying arguing the points and don’t resort to the irrelevant ad hominem? You like to say that PRR and I don’t act like you think teachers should. Well, neither do you. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/16 "2009-03-30T11:31:58Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > This is just to affirm that I am aware of the Pit thread and that I will be reading whatever you wish to post. Regardless of whether accusations are true or false, I have no intentions of defending myself. Aha - this proves you are female. And are unjustified in your actions. Next case, please. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/17 "2009-03-30T11:47:31Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Just put a chunk of text into the [Gender Genie.](http://bookblog.net/gender/genie.php) > > No, I don’t think it’s all that accurate. I’m going to have to agree about the accuracy… 3 out of 4 of my posts this past week made the Genie think I was female… But they do point out that they work best with samples greater than 500 words. I’m male by the way. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 11:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/18 "2009-03-30T11:47:50Z")
Female Score: 1031 Male Score: 473 The Gender Genie thinks **Fenris** is a girl. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/19 "2009-03-30T12:27:23Z")
Female Score: 948 Male Score: 1461 (Text: an article I wrote that was published recently in a local magazine. ) Thereby proving that I’m a friend of both **prr** ’s and **Rubystreak** ’s IRL – which I’ve never denied. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/20 "2009-03-30T12:40:23Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > I figured something out about the ethnic background of a poster, made a certain remark based on my guess, and his overreaction got him banned. I do hope you’ve taken an oath to use your superpowers only for good. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=2)