# Dear Zoe--you're an idiot, not a detective. Now shut the hell up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/201 "2009-04-01T02:41:27Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > That’s Fenris’s traveling name when he visits Britain. I’m shocked that you would say such a thing, **tomndebb**. You must be one of those people who DELIBERATELY read “Magician’s Nephew” before “The Lion, the Witch, & the Wardrobe.” Next you’ll be claiming that islands upon which dreams come true can magically disappear. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/202 "2009-04-01T03:04:56Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > Hey, I’m just posting to affirm that I’m reading these comments. > > And now, you’re ALL on the goddamned list. > > The _naughty_ list. Even me, Fenris? Do I get a spanking from your mighty, yet warm and comforting hands? ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/203 "2009-04-01T03:21:27Z")
… … …possibly. ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/204 "2009-04-01T03:27:36Z")
So Zoe isn’t going to say anything, eh? Can we all agree that next time she posts one of her little Nancy Drew accusations, we can just link to this thread and say no more? That would be the perfect result of this Pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/205 "2009-04-01T04:18:42Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > TLtWatW, right **Rilch**? Yes! LONG LIVE THE QUEEN! ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/206 "2009-04-01T04:21:52Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > So Zoe isn’t going to say anything, eh? Can we all agree that next time she posts one of her little Nancy Drew accusations, we can just link to this thread and say no more? That would be the perfect result of this Pitting. Agreed! ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/207 "2009-04-01T05:21:25Z")
> [@Rubystreak](#): > > If you Google his full name, the first cite that comes up will verify his identity at the university. twickster and I have also met him in person. Trust me, there is no reason for any doubt about his true identity, unless you are a paranoid, grudge-holding nutbar. Personally, I like my Paranoid Grudge-Holding Nutbars with Caramel. ---
**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/208 "2009-04-01T06:27:34Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > I thought **Rand Rover** was John Galt. No, no, he’s John _Birch_. Do try to keep up. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 8:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/209 "2009-04-01T08:52:56Z")
> [@Frank](#): > > But you’ve already got your own chair and whip, right? I mean, you want to be prepared. You don’t want to haul your penny jar down to the lion store and suddenly realize you don’t have enough for the accessories. > > “I got no car and it’s breaking my heart > But I got a driver and that’s a start” Huh! only wimps carry a whip AND chair. Plus do you think I’m made of money? ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/210 "2009-04-01T12:12:05Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > ( **Not** an implication that Fenris is a sock. It’s a non-SDMB reference.) Ha! Next thing you know, you’ll say he’s not even a giant wolf. What is the world coming to? ---
**Author:** ![Rubystreak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Rubystreak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rubystreak)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/211 "2009-04-01T12:17:09Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Personally, I like my Paranoid Grudge-Holding Nutbars with Caramel. I like mine all covered in irony, but that metallic taste does set one’s teeth on edge. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/212 "2009-04-01T12:23:39Z")
> [@Mollie\_Magill](#): > > Ha! Next thing you know, you’ll say he’s not even a giant wolf. What is the world coming to? Ragnarok? ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/213 "2009-04-01T12:36:50Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Still reading… Try not moving your lips, and it’ll go faster. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/214 "2009-04-01T13:12:10Z")
Well, you know, **Zoe** is probably just sitting back and letting all of her defenders post on her behalf, explaining why her behavior is really OK and justifiable. Oh wait, there aren’t any defenders. This is one of those fairly-rare situations in which I simultaneously become aware of a poster, and lose all respect for them. **Zoe’s** little “I’m still reading, please don’t stop Pitting me, oh ho ho, this is good fun” comment is just embarrassing. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/215 "2009-04-01T13:21:21Z")
> [@Sarahfeena](#): > > On the other hand, 3 people claim firsthand knowledge of the fact that he is a college professor, two of whom have met him in real life (and I believe at least one of the two has been to his office on campus). As I’ve said on more than one occasion, he and I are friends IRL. I’ve been to his home. He’s been to my home (not that that will be needed for evidence of anything until **Zoe** tries to prove I’m not really a gardener, at which point I’ll drag him back from DoMeBo to testify that he’s been in my back yard). On one occasion, I waited downstairs at an office building on the campus of XXXX University while he went upstairs to drop off a printer and pick up a book. He no longer had the printer and did have a book when he came back down, but as **Zoe** knows, that doesn’t actually prove anything. Besides, just because we were on the campus of XXXX university and there was a sign with the XXXX logo on the door of the building, how do I know _that_ wasn’t all part of the ruse. God, I feel so friggin’ naive. > [@Rubystreak](#): > > So Zoe isn’t going to say anything, eh? Can we all agree that next time she posts one of her little Nancy Drew accusations, we can just link to this thread and say no more? That would be the perfect result of this Pitting. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/216 "2009-04-01T13:30:17Z")
Is XXXX University even accredited? I know their football team sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/217 "2009-04-01T13:35:27Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Is XXXX University even accredited? I know their football team sucks. At least they have their own [beer](http://www.xxxx.com.au/index.php), though. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/218 "2009-04-01T13:42:33Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Still reading… And this is meaningful to us how? ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/219 "2009-04-01T13:45:08Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Is XXXX University even accredited? I know their football team sucks. I got an email about this University. According to the link I clicked on, XXXX University sucks their football team. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/220 "2009-04-01T13:47:45Z")
> [@Projammer](#): > > And this is meaningful to us how? It means she’s trying to keep up with the discussion but sounding out the big words is slowing her down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=12)