# Dear Zoe--you're an idiot, not a detective. Now shut the hell up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/221 "2009-04-01T13:50:32Z")
> [@MsWhatsit](#): > > Well, you know, **Zoe** is probably just sitting back and letting all of her defenders post on her behalf, explaining why her behavior is really OK and justifiable. > > Oh wait, there aren’t any defenders. Somewhat along this line. I was just trying to remember the last time I saw a pit thread where someone didn’t turn on the OP and tell them what an idiot they are. Or at the very least try to present some reason justifying whomever or whatever was pitted. That it hasn’t happened speaks volumes in and of itself. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/222 "2009-04-01T14:06:35Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > Still reading… Still not giving a shit… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/223 "2009-04-01T14:08:27Z")
> [@Lamar\_Mundane](#): > > I got an email about this University. According to the link I clicked on, XXXX University sucks their football team. No, you’re thinking of XXX University. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/224 "2009-04-01T14:37:39Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > No, you’re thinking of XXX University. There’s a university which teaches you how to make pornographic films? It’s hard to imagine someone getting all nostalgic about his student days at good ol’ Screw U. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/225 "2009-04-01T14:39:25Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > There’s a university which teaches you how to make pornographic films? Oral Roberts. ---
**Author:** ![LonesomePolecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a88e57/32.png) [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/226 "2009-04-01T14:51:57Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > Oral Roberts. LOL! Good one! ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/227 "2009-04-01T15:59:30Z")
> [@Beadalin](#): > > Wow, **Sarahfeena** , nice work. I meant to answer this before…thank you for the compliment! 🙂 **Zoe** often makes negative comments about posters who complain about the Pit, and says that if you can’t take it, you should stay out. So, it wasn’t hard to find a good example of it. > [@](#): > > As I’ve said on more than one occasion, he and I are friends IRL. I’ve been to his home. He’s been to my home (not that that will be needed for evidence of anything until Zoe tries to prove I’m not really a gardener, at which point I’ll drag him back from DoMeBo to testify that he’s been in my back yard). On one occasion, I waited downstairs at an office building on the campus of XXXX University while he went upstairs to drop off a printer and pick up a book. He no longer had the printer and did have a book when he came back down, but as Zoe knows, that doesn’t actually prove anything. Besides, just because we were on the campus of XXXX university and there was a sign with the XXXX logo on the door of the building, how do I know that wasn’t all part of the ruse. > > God, I feel so friggin’ naive. I don’t believe any of this. Clearly, you are covering for him for some nefarious reason. You don’t really garden at all, do you? I once saw you mix up annual & perennial, and of course this is something that any true gardener would know. Just admit it, twickster, or I will reveal the rest of the evidence that I have amassed and am currently keeping secret from all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/228 "2009-04-01T15:59:48Z")
Morehead State. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/229 "2009-04-01T16:12:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Morehead State. I hear a lot of graduates from [Horlick High](http://www.racine.k12.wi.us/?do=schools.content&pageID=68)go there. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/230 "2009-04-01T16:24:08Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Morehead State. Back at the beginning of March Madness, I was really rooting for Morehead. Of course, that wasn’t any different than any other time of year. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/231 "2009-04-01T16:24:21Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > Try not moving your lips, and it’ll go faster. That’s not what _SHE_ said! ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/232 "2009-04-01T16:50:06Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > [QUOTE=Vinyl Turnip] > > Ah, this happens from time to time… can someone take The Weird One down the hall to Special Ed French? But if I learn Special Ed’s French, I still won’t know regular French.And what makes Ed so special, anyway? :dubious: [/QUOTE] I’ve heard from some of the ladies that if you get frenched by Ed, you’ll know he’s special. ---
**Author:** ![apollonia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2bfe46/32.png) [@apollonia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apollonia)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/233 "2009-04-01T19:04:05Z")
No, no, no. You guys have it all wrong. It’s State College, it’s just the LOGO that’s XXX. [http://www.cafepress.com/cp/moredetails.aspx?showBleed=false&ProductNo=84937756&colorNo=23&pr=F](http://www.cafepress.com/cp/moredetails.aspx?showBleed=false&ProductNo=84937756&colorNo=23&pr=F) See? My grand old alma mater. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/234 "2009-04-01T19:19:02Z")
Maybe Zoe is eventually going to make a big proclamation that she purposely acted the way she did because she’s conducting a Social Experiment? She wanted to demonstrate how claiming to be psychic can get you negative Interweb reaction, or that if you don’t properly back up your claims, you get OMG! ridiculed. Then she’ll claim to compile it all in a book she’s putting together for her high school Sociology class. You know, the one she teaches to inner city black kids because NO ONE ELSE will do it. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/235 "2009-04-01T20:26:05Z")
I am laughing so hard at this thread I am practically in tears. I have nothing of substance to add to either condemn nor defend Zoe; I just wanted to acknowledge the wit and punning cleverness of some of the posters in this thread. Thank you all for making me smile on an afternoon when I was feeling rather crabby. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/236 "2009-04-01T20:42:53Z")
> [@LonesomePolecat](#): > > There’s a university which teaches you how to make pornographic films? It’s hard to imagine someone getting all nostalgic about his student days at good ol’ Screw U. I am a little late to this party, but I would be very eager to review the curriculum at [Beaver College](http://www.wired.com/politics/law/news/2000/03/35091). ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/237 "2009-04-01T20:59:17Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > I am laughing so hard at this thread I am practically in tears. I have nothing of substance to add to either condemn nor defend Zoe; I just wanted to acknowledge the wit and punning cleverness of some of the posters in this thread. > > Thank you all for making me smile on an afternoon when I was feeling rather crabby. Hey, don’t be **Blue**! No need to be a **Hermit**. We can be a bunch of **Coconuts** here and sometimes even **King** s of comedy. Glad we could be of help. [sub]She mentioned puns, it’s her fault! Don’t hurt me.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2009, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/238 "2009-04-01T23:04:51Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > I think I’m going to start posting conflicting information about myself in a desperate bid to get somebody to NOTICE ME, DAMMIT! _sob_ You sonofabitch!! That was going to be MY plan! Now what will I do to get attention? You idea stealing _bastard_. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/239 "2009-04-02T00:10:51Z")
You could pit each other’s inconsistencies. Peacemaker Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2009, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/240 "2009-04-02T00:15:41Z")
> [@TroubleAgain](#): > > I am laughing so hard at this thread I am practically in tears. I have nothing of substance to add to either condemn nor defend Zoe; I just wanted to acknowledge the wit and punning cleverness of some of the posters in this thread. > > Thank you all for making me smile on an afternoon when I was feeling rather crabby. We try. Of course, I have no idea if any of _my_ posts made you laugh, but I’m going to take credit anyway. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=13)