# Dear Zoe--you're an idiot, not a detective. Now shut the hell up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 30, 2009, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259 "2009-03-30T04:23:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/61 "2009-03-30T16:58:15Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > All this time I thought he was a Lebanese. “Gay” and “Lebanese” are fairly interchangeable… As to the OP, I just want to state upfront that I don’t use real names for my family members in order to protect their privacy. So one day my husband might be “Tom” and another day he might be “Bob.” No matter what moniker I give him, he’s always the same dude. You know, just in case you were keeping track. And I’ll also say that on the few occasions where posters were busted (aka the dude who falsely claimed to be having a sex change), I do appreciate that other people pay closer attention. There’s something evilly satisfying in busting a poseur. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/62 "2009-03-30T17:20:45Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > And I’ll also say that on the few occasions where posters were busted (aka the dude who falsely claimed to be having a sex change), I do appreciate that other people pay closer attention. There’s something evilly satisfying in busting a poseur. IIRC, wasn’t that when she first accused **Phlosphr** of being a phony-right after the whole **Kaitlyn/NumberSix** affair went down? ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/63 "2009-03-30T17:26:10Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > IIRC, wasn’t that when she first accused **Phlosphr** of being a phony-right after the whole **Kaitlyn/NumberSix** affair went down? You may be right, but I’m afraid that large stores of my memory have been committed to remembering the lyrics to 80’s pop tunes. Hence, most other things are forgotten. Kaitlyn/NumberSix rings a distant bell, but I have no idea what timeframe we’re talking. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/64 "2009-03-30T17:30:26Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > You may be right, but I’m afraid that large stores of my memory have been committed to remembering the lyrics to 80’s pop tunes. Hence, most other things are forgotten. Kaitlyn/NumberSix rings a distant bell, but I have no idea what timeframe we’re talking. **Kaitlyn** was the fake-sex-change guy you mentioned. Before that he was a poster named **NumberSix** , who all of a sudden claimed he was coming out as a MTF and wanted “her” name to be **Kaitlyn** or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/65 "2009-03-30T18:23:01Z")
> [@The\_Weird\_One](#): > > I think I’m going to start posting conflicting information about myself in a desperate bid to get somebody to NOTICE ME, DAMMIT! _sob_ Good idea. Just for the record, I’m a young, blonde, lesbian supermodel who hates movies, thinks female singers are wussy bitches, and I’m a right-wing Republican who worships Clothahump, Carol Stream, Bricker and Shodan, and wants to have Rush Limbaugh’s babies. Just so y’all know. Oh, and, Obama’s a Muslim Kenyan with an angry, uppity wife. ---
**Author:** ![fachverwirrt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/94ad74/32.png) [@fachverwirrt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fachverwirrt)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/66 "2009-03-30T18:27:33Z")
> [@Khadaji](#): > > You mean he _isn’t_ a gay white Librarian? Couldn’t be. There are no gay white librarians in Albania. ---
**Author:** ![Equipoise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/equipoise/32/151_2.png) [@Equipoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Equipoise)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/67 "2009-03-30T18:34:25Z")
He’s a Labia from Alberta. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/68 "2009-03-30T18:46:01Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Good idea. Just for the record, I’m a young, blonde, lesbian supermodel who hates movies, thinks female singers are wussy bitches, and I’m a right-wing Republican who worships Clothahump, Carol Stream, Bricker and Shodan, and wants to have Rush Limbaugh’s babies. Just so y’all know. Woah, back up. You think female singers are wussy bitches? So… What’s your sign? ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/69 "2009-03-30T18:49:08Z")
> [@Fenris](#): > > You did it with [pseudotriton ruber ruber](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=8271227&postcount=332) (one of about six billion threads where you did it–note, this is hyperbole), you stalked him at least 2 years (2007-2009), if you weren’t so fucking creepy (when you were researching (and calling?) actual universities trying to figure out which one he did or didn’t work for), you would have been a laughingstock. Woah now, if she did that, that’s like actual stalking. Perhaps this is an issue that the moderators should be considering? ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/70 "2009-03-30T18:53:37Z")
> [@](#): > > Wait, Sampiro’s a Libran Well, **Sampiro** - _if that is his real name_ - told me he was a _literate Aquarian_. I’m sure he’ll be along shortly to explain how he could be two different Zodiacal signs. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/71 "2009-03-30T18:57:52Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > You may be right, but I’m afraid that large stores of my memory have been committed to remembering the lyrics to 80’s pop tunes. Hence, most other things are forgotten. Kaitlyn/NumberSix rings a distant bell, but I have no idea what timeframe we’re talking. Somewhere between February and April of 2005. Which may or may not help you. I, however, recall exactly where I was when I was reading parts of that saga, which places it firmly in time. * * * Unrelated to the above–my favorite thread in which **Zoe** is show to be an idiot is [Vetbridge’s Obligation to Recognize Vetinary Ethics](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=372398&highlight=vetbridge+ethics). While I’m not sure **vetbridge** himself ever responded to the thread, professionals from a wide variety of other fields showed up to report that vetbridge’s behavior as determined from the two threads that inspired that thread, was not inconsistant with their ideas of professional and ethical behavior for veterinarians. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/72 "2009-03-30T19:02:03Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > IIRC, wasn’t that when she first accused **Phlosphr** of being a phony-right after the whole **Kaitlyn/NumberSix** affair went down? IIRC, the three people who (allegedly) busted Kaitlyn/NumberSix were **Satan** , **Roger Thornhill** , and **Can of Pineapples**. All of whom, of course, are banned. In other words, the three people who correctly identified a phony are all banned, while the person who repeatedly incorrectly identifies other posters as phonies is not only still here but also is usually considered an upstanding pillar of this here community. Now I realize that **Satan** , **Roger Thornhill** , and **Can of Pineapples** were banned for things generally unrelated to the whole Kaitlyn/NumberSix deal, but it’s food for thought nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/73 "2009-03-30T19:03:39Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > Unrelated to the above–my favorite thread in which **Zoe** is show to be an idiot is [Vetbridge’s Obligation to Recognize Vetinary Ethics](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=372398&highlight=vetbridge+ethics). Wow, that’s some quality crazy right there. And to think we could have lost **Zoe** to one of the new boards – you know, the ones with all the lambada dancers with libations. The fun boards. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/74 "2009-03-30T19:20:06Z")
> [@Zoe](#): > > This is just to affirm that I am aware of the Pit thread and that I will be reading whatever you wish to post. Regardless of whether accusations are true or false, I have no intentions of defending myself. This is hilarious, truly. In my view, **Zoe** spends a lot of time worrying about the behavior of others, when perhaps a bit of _self_-reflection is more in order. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/75 "2009-03-30T19:21:11Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > “Gay” and “Lebanese” are fairly interchangeable… I’ll b sure to inform Hassan Nasrallah. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/76 "2009-03-30T19:30:51Z")
> [@Equipoise](#): > > Good idea. Just for the record, I’m a young, blonde, lesbian supermodel who hates movies, thinks female singers are wussy bitches, and I’m a right-wing Republican who worships Clothahump, Carol Stream, Bricker and Shodan, and wants to have Rush Limbaugh’s babies. Just so y’all know. > > Oh, and, Obama’s a Muslim Kenyan with an angry, uppity wife. Anne Coulter? ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/77 "2009-03-30T19:35:55Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > IIRC, the three people who (allegedly) busted Kaitlyn/NumberSix were **Satan** , **Roger Thornhill** , and **Can of Pineapples**. All of whom, of course, are banned. **Satan** was banned like four or five years before Kaitlyn was busted. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/78 "2009-03-30T19:40:38Z")
> [@hajario](#): > > **Satan** was banned like four or five years before Kaitlyn was busted. Who do you think **Can of Pineapples** was? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/79 "2009-03-30T19:47:23Z")
> [@Duke](#): > > Who do you think **Can of Pineapples** was? Up 'til now, I’d been operating under the assumption that it was Effram Zimbalist, Jr. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2009, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259/80 "2009-03-30T19:56:03Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Up 'til now, I’d been operating under the assumption that it was Effram Zimbalist, Jr. Quite, yes. Of course I’m going off half-remembered anonymous board posts but for some reason I thought it was “common knowledge” that **Satan** was **Can of Pineapples**. Yeah, now I’m indulging in the same detective work as the target of the OP, I suppose. The Kaitlyn/Number Six thing was so strange, wasn’t it? Kind of the SDMB’s “Emperor has no clothes” moment–so obvious in retrospect, but no less a shock to everybody involved. I was on the UnaBoard at the time and Kaitlyn was a member there too. We were all gulled as well. It puts all the “troll-hunting” that **Zoe** and others do into some perspective: if such an obvious troll as Kaitlyn could go unnoticed for months, how good can Dopers really be at spotting them? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/dear-zoe-youre-an-idiot-not-a-detective-now-shut-the-hell-up/491259.md?page=5)